[ SECRET POST #4719 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4719 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 38 secrets from Secret Submission Post #676.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I know someone who suffered post-natal depression and she says some part of that was the whole "instant love and beauty is always present" narrative. She didn't feel that at all. In fact she says she felt nothing but fear (which is normal in itself when you're caring for a new human) but she was made to feel alienated and broken by the idea that you *instantly* feel like all you want to do is stare at the baby in awe.

[(Anonymous)]

Good point. I think the whole "ecstatic and instantly in love" scenario is something that's wrongly treated as normalm universal experience to the point where people who don't feel that way worry that they're broken, or a bad parent. I mean jesus, if you think about it being absolutely terrified is a very logical, reasonable reaction to creating a new life.

[(Anonymous)]

SA. Indeed. My sister loves her kids (I know she does, I see it with my own eyes) and says she did feel something like a rush when she (eventually) was able to hold them after birth. But she ended up with sepsis after her eldest and nearly died in the process of giving birth to her second (and he would've died too, it was really close to the wire in fact) so she *still* doesn't see birth as this instant "everything is wonderful" thing as she was still fighting for her life both times.

I know fanfic is wish fulfilment and not everyone wants the realities of life but sometimes it would be nice to see a general acknowledgement, even in fiction, that childbirth can be a bit shit even when it turns out alright in the end.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry she had such an awful time. Childbirth really is still pretty dangerous, even in this day and age. :(

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't have PND, but I totally felt this as well. I didn't get the instant feeling either, but the trope is so pervasive that I felt like I should do.