[ SECRET POST #4756 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4756 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry it's so late, thought I posted this already.

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #681.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. https://i.imgur.com/N5NJyHZ.png

[(Anonymous)]

It's a tricky situation, and I'm not sure that it's something you can really solve just by phrasing it better if it really is the case (as it comes across in the secret) that you think he's sexy and love him, but in a basically different way from the kind of attraction you have to thicc manly bodies. And I don't even know if it's unreasonable for him to be insecure about that.

[(Anonymous)]

Seconding this. Like, obviously it’s completely okay for you to be attracted to thicc, manly hunks, but the flip-side of that is…I can’t really imagine him not feeling a bit insecure if he’s the opposite of that.

Like, If I was with a guy who talked, even just from time to time, about having a preference for curvaceous women with big breasts and hips, I would definitely feel insecure. I like how I look and I like my thin, non-curvaceous body, but I’d still be insecure that his type was the opposite of me, the girl he was actually with.

OP, if you think you can be genuine and natural about it, I’d suggest you could make a point of complimenting something about his physical appearance every so often (be sparing about it though or it’ll probably feel false). Make sure he knows you find him attractive in his own right. “Fuck, you look good in that sweater,” or “Your jawline makes me just want to bite it sometimes,” is a huge ego-stroke, and really detracts focus from the thought that some guys out there are more your type than he is.

[(Anonymous)]

SA I just want to clarify because I should have made it more explicit that OP is not doing anything wrong in the equation either it's just one of those things

[(Anonymous)]

You should probably talk to him to see if he's actually bothered by this, you might just be overthinking it. If he is bothered by it just do your best to let him know you find him attractive. You're going to like what you like, if he's too insecure to realize that and that you also like him too, then that's on him.

[(Anonymous)]

Does he look at porn of women who look different from you? I think we all do this. We all have fantasies, and often they don't match our partners, and that's okay and doesn't mean we don't love our partners or aren't attracted to them.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm honestly attracted to many different body types, so I'm not sure this will help, but can you think of some celebrity with a similar body type that you're attracted to? Someone you can bring up when something about you being attracted to someone with a thicc body type comes up, you can also say you are attracted to this person with this other type too. Like, if you're all, I have to see Dune because damn Jason Momoa, but also Timothee Chalamet.

[(Anonymous)]

Some people just get jealous when their partner expresses any interest in anyone else. Unfortunately you can't find that out until after you've expressed that interest.

All you can do now is shut up about admiring other guys and eventually he'll feel it less acutely. But he will never forget.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

I highly approve of your example, OP. That's some primo Dwayne.

Just keep reminding your hubby he's hot. Not just telling him he's sexy, but like, whenever, he does something hot, working on something physical, or if his cute behind is sticking out reach out and stroke it...show him physically you think he's sexy with little kisses and "yums" whenever he does something sexy or his hair is tousled from a bike ride or whatever...physical reinforcement is what does wonders subconsciously, more than words. But, of course, confronting the issue head on and asking hime if it's really a problem that you like different body types but he's your "all," is good too.

Good luck!

[(Anonymous)]

I’m probably going to be in the minority on this, but I think this is more your husband’s problem than yours. As long as you’ve made it clear that you’re attracted to him and love him, then his insecurity is unwarranted. We all have physical preferences but who we choose to marry and spend our lives with is based on so much more than physical attraction - and he should be able to understand that. You’re not at fault for enjoying fantasizing or looking at hot thick guys. People enjoy fantasies, and so long as they don’t interfere with your love for him, then you’re doing nothing wrong.

[(Anonymous)]

You're definitely in the minority on this, because this is the wrong way to go about it. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing yes, but don't vocalize that shit to your SO who is opposite of that fantasy.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean... on the one hand, you can't wave a magic wand and make someone's insecurities disappear. This is particularly difficult because it's likely your husband gets the message of "thicc manly hunks are amazing" from you, but he also gets the message of "thicc manly hunks = how men OUGHT to be" from mainstream media. That's toxic, and it's unfortunate that it blurs the line between your healthy, totally legit personal preference and peoples' concept of stereotypical masculinity.

On the other hand - and I don't want to get too blamey about this, but people can sometimes be a little more... conspicuous... about their kinks than they realize - you could also do a quiet self-assessment to see if maybe you're feeding into that insecurity by not being as discreet as you could be about your likes/dislikes. "I love you just the way you are" always sounds well meaning, but it definitely comes with a "... and how you are is less than what standards might dictate".