[ SECRET POST #4880 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4880 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 66 secrets from Secret Submission Post #699.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent thread.

[venusundae]

when shelter in place first started where i live, a friend of mine reached out to me asking me how i was doing. and we're buddies so i just answered him honestly! i was really freaking out bc i had done a lot in the past five years to take care of my mental health, gain better habits, stop drinking my life away, manage my suicide ideation, stuff like that. and even when i felt kinda shitty about myself, i knew i was definitely in a better place than i had been.

but suddenly all my routines were gone bc of quarantine. and i was just at home all the time which i hadn't been since i was at my worst, alone in my bedroom drinking at 11am haha. and so i was rly struggling with not letting that get to me, not giving into the impulse to buy alcohol, try to not fall back into that funk that quarantine was reminding me of being in so viscerally.

and his response was "ah, yea. so i mean, you're an introvert, so you're probably going to be fine." !?! like did you hear anything i just said???! lmao. i rly don't think so, bc then he just went on to talk about how he was such an extrovert and not having a social life was rly hard for him rn and nobody understands! (which i have sympathy for, honestly. but it was just kinda painful to realize he only asked how i was so he could then talk about he was, not bc he cared haha)

AMYWAY i've been thinking about this all day, bc i have an opportunity to see him tomorrow (outside, w masks, for a community garden service thing) but i'm apparently still bitter about it bc i just rly don't want to see him ahaha.

Re: Vent thread.

[(Anonymous)]

Skip it. This guy sounds like a crappy "friend".

Re: Vent thread.

[(Anonymous)]

maybe he was drunk?

Re: Vent thread.

[(Anonymous)]

I think if someone can't reciprocate empathy, or pretends suffering is a competition, maybe they aren't much of a friend.

I get feeling like crap because extrovert having difficulty adjusting, but ffs. I would think other extroverts would understand that. Maybe he should hit up one of them or something, since he badly wants his social life back.

Anyway, sorry your routines were also disrupted. People thrive when conditions are ideal; it's so easy to regress when those are taken away. We're in such weird times, all of us. I hope you don't beat yourself up too much, because Covid is the one screwing everything up. But I also hope it gets better for you.

Re: Vent thread.

[venusundae]

that's a good point. i think he tries. and i think he cares. but he's just so not self aware that it alienates a lot of people around him and i end up forgive him for the same things over and over all the time. i think i just gotta work on better boundaries w him really.

thank you <3 i appreciate that

Re: Vent thread.

[(Anonymous)]

I definitely had to readjust my sharing level with a friend who was flippant as fuck about things that were really bothering me. I just kind of accepted, "okay, this is who they are and I just need to share my deep hurts with somebody who won't say I just need to get over it and I'll be fine." I was sad for a while but it wasn't my job to change them. I still talk to them every now and then but my expectations are different.

Re: Vent thread.

[(Anonymous)]

Coming from someone who sucks at saying the right thing even when I care about someone a lot, maybe give him a chance. It's hard to read tone from that message. But maybe if he is being a dismissive dock then rethink whether he's worth your time. Good luck with everything, always remember you’re doing the best you can.

Re: Vent thread.

[venusundae]

yea, i totally get that. but i honestly deal w this p much every time i talk w this guy haha. i think his heart is in the right place he's just painfully clueless and it makes our relationship rly one sided in general.
it's not like i'm giving up on him completely. at the very least we work and volunteer a lot together so i'll def see him again haha. and there are a few other reasons to avoid going tomorrow (it's a 40 minute drive for one alfhdjk) and my bitterness over this convo was just the one that i kept thinking about all day lmao.

but anyway, thank you <3 i appreciate that