[ SECRET POST #4908 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4908 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 59 secrets from Secret Submission Post #703.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I hate the trend I've seen in lots of online spaces lately that holds that anyone under 26 is an ikkle baby child who should not be held accountable for anything they do and should absolutely never *shocked gasp* DATE! Today I saw someone refer to a 20-year-old as a 'late teen', while saying that a 27-year-old dating a 20-year-old was 'questionable' because of the 'power imbalance'. Like jesus fucking christ, get a grip.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I would question a 35 year old dating an 18 year old or a 40 year old dating a 20 year old. But 27 and 20? Don't see an inherent power imbalance there. A 20 year old is an adult and capable of making their own choices and mature enough to handle an adult relationship.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah I agree with the overall idea that there can be power relationships based on age but it's hard to really draw a line in the sand and point to a specific range of years and say this is where it's objectively weird and wrong.

I can definitely say that I would be sort of weirded if I found out a 30 year old friend of mine was dating a 20 year old.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah... there are differences between "weird" and "criminal" that a lot of people have forgotten.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Have you seen a college dorm though?

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Unfortunately that mindset has gotten to me a bit, where ANY age difference is bad, no matter how old the people involved are. I was reading a book earlier with a 34 year old dating a 42 year old and had a split second thought of "hmm, that's kind of questionable", and then I was like "wait, WHAT?!" and then got super angry at myself for letting those idiots influence me at all, because that's fucking ridiculous.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

You change so much between 18 and 26. I think it kinda curves off then. I think that's why big age gaps involving anyone 18-25 seem a little skeevy.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Eh, I think that really depends on the person. I know some people who changed a lot between those ages and other people who really didn't change at all.

Re: Vent thread

[meadowphoenix]

there's such a variety of life stages that happen in your 20s that I can def see most 27 year olds having far more requisite romantic and even cultural knowledge that leads to a power imbalance in a relationships with someone in their 20s. always? no. but when you have some knowledge of the difference in experience? yeah, its weird to me.

in general i wish people stopped believing that acknowledging someone's relative lack of experience was the same as calling them a baby.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - the person I'm complaining about called the 20-year-old a child. Actually literally called her a child. And not in the sense of criticising childish behaviour.

Re: Vent thread

[meadowphoenix]

was the 20 yr old white? i mean as someone running out of their 20s left, yeah that's a kid to me. not kid as in "needs to be picked up and fed" but kid as in "barely without structural support to know what they're going to do without it" that's clearly not every 20 yr old, but its so many of them.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm, I can see it though. Twenty isn't nearly enough done with college, if that's the path they walked, and technically their brain isn't fully developed yet so it's probably safer for them to mingle with people their age. I get that treating them like a baby is a bit too much, but I do think it's a huge gap in that range, just like I feel a 12 year old dating a 14-15 year old is too much, and a 35 year old dating a 50 year old is probably too much as well.

Of course people see it differently but, personally ; I struggle a lot with it as a 27 year old with "childish" hobbies/fandoms so occasionally I am guilty of treating (4 years+ for instance?) younger people as kids, maybe even to remind myself that's what they are behind the computer screen or outwardly behavior - they're likely struggling with college (or pondering going into it) and part-time job money/allowance and love matters, while I'm struggling with a difficult but rewarding job, wondering whether to begin a masters and trying to get over past relationships and figuring out what I actually want. It's all so different from when I was 20 even if my personality (or even, perhaps, online behavior...) has not changed a lot.