[ SECRET POST #4933 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4933 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 48 secrets from Secret Submission Post #706.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

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[fscom]

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[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
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What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Tell us all about it here!

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

allergies allergies allergies allergies allergies

that was most of my day and then i'm going to make pasta salad for dinner

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Woke up. Ate toasted sandwich. Came here.

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[philstar22]

Mostly laid in my bed with a heating pads and watched Whose Line.


Cramping the worst I have since I had my uterus out. Also feeling cold and generally angry at the world. Basically all the period symptoms except the blood. That plus the massive allergy headache from the elevated dust levels and I'm ready for today to be over.

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Slept a lot, which was really nice after not getting enough sleep in a long time. It's been storming, so I've just been laying around reading and watching TV. It's stopped, though, so I might go out for a walk later. Also need to start planning my meals for the next couple weeks because I'm going to do a grocery trip within the next couple days.

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Ate, drank, slept, and watched TV.

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Went to the dentist to have 2 crowns replaced, so I have a sore jaw and 2 temporary crowns now, lol. Then I was going to stop by a favorite tea shop but they were closed :( When I got home I took some Tylenol and took a little nap with my dog. Recently I've been sleeping with a fan on, pointed directly at me and set low, and it's been amazing. My sleep has actually improved because of it, I think it's a combination of the soft white noise the fan makes plus the cooler temperature. I'm getting takeout from a bao place for dinner tonight, and they have a fried banana with coconut ice cream dessert that's really good (and soft) that I'm going to treat myself to.

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[kaijinscendre]

Went to work, got home, dozed for a bit, walked on the treadmill, and am now working on my crochet monster. -_-

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

work

too many meetings, not enough doing stuff

(though to be fair, I'm a lazy little shit who probably would have spent the day getting pissed off at the news anyway)

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[caecilia]

got a new

GAMING LAPTOP

B)

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty good.
Work.
Voice Lesson.
Gonna buy an epilator
Then work some more
and maybe watch a show or something.

Re: What did you do today, FS?

[(Anonymous)]

Worked, cleaned my bathroom, dying of heat. Excited because my co-worker is going to her cottage for a week so she's dropping off her kitty again for me to babysit. I never want to give him back, lol.

Mattress Buying Question

[(Anonymous)]

Has anybody here bought a basic (cheaper, harder) mattress and added a memory foam topper to improve/soften it? If so, did it work for you? Are you a side sleeper or a back sleeper?

I’m thinking of doing this, because it’d be nice to be able to just replace the memory foam topper in a few years instead of replacing the entire mattress. But I’ve never done it before, and I’m not sure if it’s a good bet.

Second question: If any of you have memory foam mattresses or toppers, do you find you get too hot at night? I’ve heard a lot about overheating being a problem with memory foam, but I'm not sure how seriously to take it as a concern.

Re: Mattress Buying Question

[philstar22]

I have bought a cheaper, harder mattress that had some memory foam attached to the top of it. It could definitely still feel the harder mattress underneath even with the memory foam. I was able to make it work while I was in school and using that mattress. But definitely wasn't the most comfortable thing I'd ever slept on.

I sleep on my stomach and side (tend to move a lot).

Re: Mattress Buying Question

[(Anonymous)]

Memory foam mattresses are so cheap on their own that I'd start there first. I'm a side sleeper and I love mine. I bought a (less cheap but still less than $500) 14" memory foam mattress, then added a 3" topper. It's sooooooo comfortable, I'm getting the best sleep in my adult life. I'll never go back to the old spring coil mattress again.

It does sleep noticeablely warmer, but it's not so much that bothers me. It's even handy in the winter.

How would you feel in this situation/should I leave him?

[(Anonymous)]

Am I wrong to be bothered that my BF says "I love you" to his (gay male) best friend at the end of every phone call? And even that they talk on the phone constantly at all (I mean, who talks on the phone anymore?) And text each other constantly (and sometimes send heart emojis)? And spend pretty much every free moment together (well, they used to, not so much anymore with the virus), even though they ALSO work together and spend pretty much all day together at work too (again, they used to, now they're both mostly working from home)?

All my "friends" are constantly "joking" about how I'm just temporary while he's in denial about his sexuality and he's eventually going to come to terms with it and leave me for this guy.

Would I be wrong to just end things now and quit wasting time? I have no interest in marriage or kids or any long term/commitment stuff and we haven't been together all that long, so part of me is like...what's even the point? I mean, I do care about him, and if it wasn't for the way he acted with his friend, I probably wouldn't be thinking of ending things, but...he does act that way, and I can't help but think it means something. Yet everyone thinks he's this great guy (I mean, he is, mostly, but I can't help but feel like the way he acts is disrespectful when he's in a relationship), and I know that if I were to break up with him, everyone would see me as the bad guy. But I also don't want to stay with him and have everyone think I'm some pathetic, delusional fool when he finally decides that he's gay and dumps me.

I don't know what to do.

Re: How would you feel in this situation/should I leave him?

[(Anonymous)]

well, anon, the real question here isn't what your bf does and whether or not he's in the closet/in denial, it's what your relationship with him is like.

are you getting everything you want? does the relationship feel fulfilling? are you both enjoying it? then...what the fuck does his weird behavior with his bestie have to do with your relationship? let him be weird so long as you're getting the fulfillment and connection you want.

but, if you sit down and really examine the relationship between the two of you - leaving bestie entirely out of it - isn't satisfying or you do feel like you're not connecting? then it's probably fine to end it. not on the grounds that him being weird with his gayfriend is a problem, but solely on the grounds that you're not getting what you want or need out of it. if he's neglecting your feelings, neglecting affection, putting roadblocks in the way, demanding too much, not demanding enough, etc, those are long-term dealbreakers for relationships in general. so if you have to end it, end it because the relationship between you and him is not what you want it to be. be honest with yourself. don't let his bestie color your perception of what's happening between the two of you. if things are actually pretty damn good between just the two of you, then why end it? if things are actually pretty shitty between the two of you but you're using this gayfriend thing as an excuse, then it's already doomed and you might as well end it.

first, though, it sounds like you're not communicating any of this with him, so most advice would be to cross that bridge first. you can't know what's going on, what's not going on, what he thinks, what he feels, without talking to him - honestly, without accusations or judging. but if you can't confront him about it or don't want to, then evaluate the relationship based on what you need from a fulfilling emotional and physical relationship with another human being. if it doesn't measure up to what you really want and need, then end it without talking it out.

Re: How would you feel in this situation/should I leave him?

[(Anonymous)]

How would feel if he was behaving in this way towards another girl?

Re: How would you feel in this situation/should I leave him?

[caecilia]

Okay, setting aside your first paragraph for now, I'm just gonna break this down.

1. You are allowed to break up with anyone for any reason. The only reason you need is that you want to break up.

2. You say you have no interest in anything long term. But like - just look into the future for a minute. If you don't break up with him now, when? A year from now? Five? Are you going to be with him five years from now, looking back and thinking about all the time you wasted? All the other people you could've dated?

3. That said if you feel like this is something worth talking to him about and working on then you should really start an open honest convo first. Actually, even if you are breaking up with him...it's perfectly fine to tell him why.

4. Ultimately you need to stop thinking about what "everyone" is going to think and do what's best for you. Like, please anon. I'm not saying break up with him unless that's what YOU decide is best but like do you really want to be miserable with a dude because you're afraid of other people villainizing you. Also he might be a great guy but not a great boyfriend TO YOU. They're not mutually exclusive.

5. Honestly I said I was putting the first paragraph on hold but I don't really feel like I need to address it. He could be gay and in love with his best friend or he could not but ultimately this is about YOUR happiness.

Which brings me full circle: if you wanna break up, break up.

Re: How would you feel in this situation/should I leave him?

[(Anonymous)]

Breaking up with him specifically because he's gay, when he doesn't identify as gay - I do not think that's a good decision at all. I think it would be a ridiculous decision and you would certainly be in the wrong. I think, one, let the evil be sufficient unto the day; two, I think it is his right to decide that he does in fact want to be with you, not your right to decide that he doesn't. I don't think it's fundamentally different from breaking up with someone because you don't think you're good enough for them, which I think we should be able to recognize is chickenshit.

If you think that his emotional friendship with his friend is a problem for your relationship with him and if it makes you feel neglected, or if there are other problems in the relationship, that would be a different matter. But I can't emphasize strongly enough that I think breaking up with him because you fear that he will eventually recognize that he is gay would be a mistake.

Re: How would you feel in this situation/should I leave him?

[(Anonymous)]

Jokes aside, if this friend was straight and female how would you feel about it? To me, it wouldn't matter if my boyfriend was straight or gay...the fact that he's investing so much time and emotional intimacy in a relationship with someone else is a deal breaker for me.

He can be a great guy and still not be the guy for you. Please don't stay in a relationship where you're not happy just because other people think you should. They don't have to live your life, you do.

[fscom]

Games thread!