[ SECRET POST #4947 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4947 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 17 secrets from Secret Submission Post #708.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. https://i.imgur.com/GYibr1j.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I love the bird’s expression in your secret, OP. I recently cleaned out my bookshelves too. The only older man/younger woman books I had were Twilight, but I had a bunch of shojo and yaoi manga where the word consent clearly didn’t exist. I bought a bunch of that shit back when Borders was still a thing and I can’t believe my younger self never side-eyed any of that.

[(Anonymous)]

I think part of it is the fantasy of being desirable enough to nab a hot older guy. Cause teenage girls are known for loving slightly older men.

The worst example of this I can remember however was a relationship between a 12 year old girl and 18 year old boy in a kids series. That one set off alarm bells. I am pretty sure the guy’s advances were supposed to be romantic but it just squicked me out.

[(Anonymous)]

Probably written by slimy older men who want a hot younger chick to parade around like some kind of trophy though.

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, there's plenty of women writers who do it too.

[(Anonymous)]

Isn't that Sailor Moon

[sabotabby]

I definitely felt very differently about this when I was a teenage girl than I do as an adult.

[(Anonymous)]

Same. It was just my imagination/fiction but... this didn't bother me at all when I was a teenager. Like a lot of teens, I thought myself far more mature than my years and at that age, most boys just aren't.

I fully understand why it creeps adults out, though.

[sparklywalls]

100% same. Mostly because between the ages of 13 and 16 I had a crush on a teacher and I loved anything that indulged the fantasy to the point I believed it could potentially happen. Now when I read that stuff I'm more along the lines of: ok, this is a little creepy.

Fortunately for adult me, he was one of those who distanced himself at appropriate moments. As a teen I thought I was subtle, but as an adult I know he must've guessed.

(Yes I know there ARE teachers who do go down the gross route of destroying their duty of care but mercifully in this case, that didn't happen.)

Anyway, I'm not going to get at teenage girls for having a sexuality and exploring that through fantasy. But you definitely do look back on it differently with the passage of time.

[writerserenyty]

Yep. I definitely thought it was romantic and appealing, and didn’t really see the issue. As an adult I very much see the issue.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh I remember being 14 and thinking how being 16 years old was basically an adult so stories where teenagers get with someone in their 20s+ didn't bother me when I was thinking 'Oh they're in love and love has no number~'

Then one day I reach adulthood, suddenly remember said stories and those characters interacting - and proceed to internally scream very loudly.

[(Anonymous)]

Like obviously there's something to be discussed and critical when examining this particular narrative and it sure as hell Not Cool in irl or when a piece of media harmfully endorses it, but when I was a teenage girl, I was often always into the adult men (usually in their twenties) that I saw in fiction. It's a pretty common fantasy growing up.

I think part of that is realizing who the audience is for. A lot of, saaaay, shojo anime, for example, often had that kind of plot because it is such a prevalent fantasy. It really was for me and TV shows let me enjoy in private. It was self-indulgent and stuff I would just dream (or sometimes draw/write fanart/fanfic) of back in the day and something I ultimately grew out of as I got older and became an adult.

I figure as long as it's within that safe bubble, I'd say it's okay to privately self-indulge a bit.

[(Anonymous)]

That is, a safe bubble for teen girls to privately self-indulge a bit as they generally try to figure themselves out.*

[(Anonymous)]

It's harmless self-indulgent fantasy. I don't like this genre anymore simply because I'm not interested in stories about high schoolers, but I'd totally eat up an 18/19-year-old in college and their 200+ year old vampire bf story.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel that. I had started re-reading an old favorite from when I was 13 or so, and only then did I realize that what was happening was grooming, and it got worse as the series progressed. I was so mad. I literally thought this was A-Okay, and thought of how magical and I won;t say romantic, but dreamy, for sure, that the guy who would one day marry you would show up in your dreams. Nope. He's just grooming you so you can carry his heir.

As a kid/teenager, it probably did look like something cool, but irl it didn't (and I say this as someone who saw high-schoolers go out with some of my middle school classmates. I think in most cases (and I say most, because I am sure there are circumstances and situations where this si not the case) here is a clear demarcation between this being okay in fantasy, in this private place where every one is gorgeous and "the love is true and unending" etc versus the creepy (normal looking, creep by action) 30+ year old man trying to get me to go to a party with him when I was 15/16 (true story).

[(Anonymous)]

It's okay that you didn't realize what was happening was grooming, because it probably wasn't grooming. In real life, an adult having that kind of relationship with a minor is inherently going to be grooming. In writing, it doesn't have to be. Anyone can write a minor as being completely consenting and have it be true, just like they can write "this character can fly" and have it be true.

[(Anonymous)]

I know it's a common fantasy for teen girls to feel like they're special and wonderful and so can catch the eye of some mythical perfect adult man. But also I remember when I was a teen I kinda just wanted someone who'd take care of me cos I was going through some shit haha so the idea of a magical older love interest was VERY appealing :) I understand how it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm still into the lil bit of fantasy

[(Anonymous)]

I kinda just wanted someone who'd take care

This is totally part of the appeal for me with these kinds of ships, even now. It doesn't always work for me, because I haaaate paternalism, it makes me ragey. But a strong, capable, "daddy" type who loves their younger partner unconditionally, respects them as a person, but also desperately wants to take care of them?

Fuck. Yes.

[(Anonymous)]

Why is this fucking site full of people who fantasize about grooming children or being groomed themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

don't you have a tumblr to pearlclutch on

[(Anonymous)]

It must be so nice to live in your own deluded personal fantasy 24/7, I must say I am a little bit jealous to be that detached from the rest of the world as you seem to be.
F!S actually stands for 'Fandom (exclamation point) Secrets'!! I know you'll need a moment to process such a revelation. But maybe in that time you could also look up what the word 'secret' actually means, in the dictionary even! After all, I don't want to spoil all of your fun, by giving you all the answers right away!

After all, how dare someone say how creeped out they were after discovering a collection of novels that were recommended to them at a young age. Not to mention the audacity of the what? the one anon who admitted to owning the not actually 'how-to guide of grooming', known as Twilight! Or, by Zeus almighty! Admitting that they too have come into contact with such a brand over their years! That only a kink as common as wildfires are in dry climates during camping season, could possibly be shared across the poor innocent public by acknowledging that not all age gap romances are written by women, but in fact a large amount of them are!?

I simply do not have the strength to acknowledge such a crime against humanity as you clearly have all the time in the world for. But let it be known, that I, at the very least, acknowledge your insignificance with every and any opinion you might have! <3

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't register a lot of weird shit as weird when I was a teen, but for some reason I never got the appeal of older men. Those characters were most of the time very boring to me lol.

[(Anonymous)]

I think that a lot of that is straight up wish fulfillment... the same reason why YA is full of teenaged characters who are special in some way, or who struggle with feeling outcast or alone but overcome it by the end of the novel to find friends, true love, etc. I agree with the other nonny who said that it's a safe space for young girls to entertain fantasies about being beautiful/special enough to attract a mature older man.

[(Anonymous)]

Funny how different people's experiences can be. On one hand, well my first love was probably a much older guy (idk, we met online; luckily he wasn't a creep and politely rejected me before I could even try) and 3 out of 8 female friends I grew up with dated for years older (10+y) men beginning in their teens/early twenties. On the other hand, I've never fantasized with age gap relationships, I hated Twilight and shoujo/yaoi manga with such tropes and to this day I don't enjoy those kinds of works, don't like interacting with minors online and am known for being "prudish" about it. Wonder if it's because it was close to my reality so I could always see its shortcomings but I never got the appeal and am vocal about being "against" it in media, though obviously I don't write such an autobiography whenever I say it.

To me there's this Tumblr(?) culture of how nice it is to have a "sugar daddy", but in my experience reality is much more often unfulfilled middle-aged men who've already learned to be a bit more sensitive (or less stubborn...) than the average teen guy think they're "scoring" by taking some ok-looking young girl's virginity, who in turn may be an outcast among peers and feels glad for being treated nicely for once. Everything in this logic sucks: the notion that dating a young woman is "scoring", the notion that dating a virgin is "scoring", the idea that's sold that "women are intrinsically more mature and therefore should date older men (who have got money hooray!)", ok-looking girl being treated badly by guy her age because the world is misogynistic and being "sensitive" is being "feminine" and therefore "weaker" and so on. This is why, despite obviously not lashing out against my friends or my younger self for it, I will be vocal about not being supportive of such media as it keeps these ideas alive in prime 2020.

[epicurean]

Who recced you these books? lol