[ SECRET POST #4981 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #4981 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 20 secrets from Secret Submission Post #713.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

04. https://i.imgur.com/CEBhwYa.png

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it's wrong to speculate internally about someones sexuality, but there's a trend where people become obsessed with the idea that their favourite actor must be gay or something because of xy & z, and insist that it's true. At that point it becomes creepy and severely crosses the line of shoving your nose into something this is clearly your business.
It's situations like what happened in the Supernatural fandom that has people reeling at the idea of speculating on any level I would think.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

*clearly NOT your business.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think it is wrong nor is it widely considered wrong.

I think it's something that you have to be careful and considerate about, and try to keep on the QT, for the basic reason that people incl celebrities have a right to some kind of privacy and control over their personal lives, and because sexual identity in particular is something that people consider sensitive and have a right to tell the world about in their own way.

[(Anonymous)]

Is it proper or improper to speculate on anyone's sexuality? Publicly, I mean. Obviously do whatever in your own head on your own time.

[(Anonymous)]

Echoing others, you can think about, speculate privately, but bring it up to the person? That's just none of your business.

I like to think about it as "would you do this to your neighbor?". Might you consider the sexuality of your neighbor was attractive? Sure, in your head. Might you keep notice if your neighbor has a partner or something? Sure, maybe, to yourself. Might you go up to your neighbor, ask about their sexuality, their sex life in general? No. I'd like to think most people wouldn't, especially if they understood that's just social norms/courtesy/respect for a person's private life.

The cult of celebrity has somehow made people think they gave a right to be invasive in someone else's life. I really can't stand that shit.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

i've never liked how someone being a celebrity makes people think they can know every single tiny thing about them and tbh i think it's gotten so much worse with social media. people feel so entitled to strangers lives and it's so boggling to me. just let them exist.

[(Anonymous)]

I often find myself thinking it's gotten a lot worse with social media, and probably in a lot of ways it has. But then I remember that fucking professional interviewers apparently thought it was okay to ask teenage Britney Spears whether she was a virgin, and I'm like, wow yeah it was always awful.

[(Anonymous)]

For the same reason that it's rude to speculate on the sexuality of your postal worker. It's none of your business unless you have some kind of non-professional relationship with them.

[venusundae]

i don't think it's wrong to speculate just within your own mind. we naturally have thoughts about all kinds of weird personal shit about other people. the problem arises when people act as though they are obligated to personal information about other people. and especially w celebrities, the conversations people have about it in public spaces can get very dehumanizing and disrespectful and invasive very fast.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, and stereotypical. So-and-so wears tight pants/styles his hair like that, he MUST be gay! So-and-so hangs out with TOO MANY women, she MUST be gay!

[(Anonymous)]

the stereotypical justification is especially irksome.

[(Anonymous)]

Being in the room when straight people speculate on the sexual proclivities of "flamboyant" or "fierce" celebrities becomes really uncomfortable, especially when there's a lot of "no homo" involved.

[(Anonymous)]

It gets creepy fast. Especially when it's like T. Swift has flat out said she's not gay, she's an ally, but people still try to 'make her gay'. Your head canon doesn't over-write a real, living person's sexuality.

[(Anonymous)]

Reporter: Are you a homosexual?
CJ: You know what? I’ve spent the last 14 hours being snickered at by United States senators, being ostracized on the World Wide Web, having my own colleagues question my ability to do my job. And I let it get to me. So I don’t think it really matters whether I’m gay or straight or the best women’s basketball player in Ohio Valley history. No one should be treated this way.
Reporter: You didn’t answer the question.
CJ: That’s right, because it’s none of your business.

they're not just actresses and actors, they're people

[(Anonymous)]

CJ for President

[(Anonymous)]

second

[(Anonymous)]

Because they’re real people, not fictional characters and speculating about their private lives can turn invasive and line cross-y very quickly.

[(Anonymous)]

You can think whatever thoughts you want, but so often public speculation reads like people speculating about fictional characters. Real people have lives independent of what you know or see, they are what they are, and their sexual orientations don't exist to provide validation or representation, fulfill fantasies, or provide storylines that are more interesting to you. It's one thing to wonder "Is he gay?" and quite another to say "It would be cool if he's gay."

[(Anonymous)]

Questioning is all well and good in the privacy of your own mind, but I think that things like Babygate and what happened to the supernatural cast shows that a lot of people take it way too far.

[(Anonymous)]

It's the dehumanizing aspect where people straight-up ignore said celebrities own voices about their own lives that always bothers me - especially when they're already in a relationship and then same so-called fans decides that it's ok to stalk celebrity's loved ones/family on twitter - telling them to die or get out the way of their precious RPF ship.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

This is my secret. Thanks, secret maker!
I forgot to add that people think it's wrong and creepy to speculate on it in private and in public on the internet amongst friends. My feeling is: as long as the actress or actor in question doesn't see what you write about it (or think about it), it should be all right.

[(Anonymous)]

In that case, it's not "creepy," but it's not exactly proper either. You're still gossiping about a stranger's sex life, which is generally considered rude no matter who you're talking about. Still, I'm not your mother or Emily Post, and you and your friends can talk about whatever you want.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT - This seems like a weirdly strict line to draw, IMO. Most people ARE going to speculate about celebrities. They just are. It seems really holier-than-thou to act like it's improper.