fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5007 ]

[ SECRET POST #5007 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5007 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 52 secrets from Secret Submission Post #717.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I just ship what I like to ship. I'm not doing it for brownie points on 'being a good person', I'm just shipping for fun.

Lmao nobody here got my point.
I DO NOT CARE what people ship! But I resent the thing where people plainly prefer dick but instead of owning it they try to come up with some dumb bullshit to seem woke, like "the women just aren't interesting in this show".
"They're not well written in that show either."
"They don't hit the mark in this book."
"God, writers out there just can't write women right, I swear to god I would ship the women too if they were better."
No, the women are alright. You just don't like female characters and it's on you to figure out why.

DA

No, the issue is that you said people have "weird problems with women" if they prefer to ship M/M, and that's not always the case. Maybe sometimes it is, I don't know, but you don't know the reasoning behind why people ship certain things and not others.

If you complain about female characters being shit while the female characters in your original work are equally shit or nonexistent, I think it's safe to say you have weird problems with women.

The same holds true if somehow all of the female characters in every piece of media you consume are supposedly shit.

OP Did it ever occur to you that's it more fun to write men because they simply just do not have to deal with the shit women do? God it's fucking exhausting sometimes trying to live up to the ridiculous standards society has for us, or being made to feel bad because we've decided to ditch those standards. And while we don't spend every second of our days actively thinking about this, it's still omnipresent in our lives.

So when i'm indulging in my hobby and writing, most of the time I just want to write about characters who are untouched by those concerns.

It's possible to write women without giving them "shit" to "deal with".

+1 WTF even is this entire thread?

What. But if you're making something up you can literally just remove the sexism and societal baggage because that's what writing allows you to do. Like this comment only makes sense if all of your m/m stuff is steeped with societal homophobic issues in the narrative, because gay men still suffer from that irl so you gotta put that in every m/m fic right? Especially if it's anything period-based.

Every single moment of my day has pressure on in some regard. Have to wear heels and make up for the office. Have to be a perfect employee because i'm also a parent and get judged very differently from the men in my office. Get home have to be as good a mother as I can in the short amount of time I get. Do some exercise somewhere because my increased weight led to my sexist pig of a boss giving me less good assignments.

Basically, it may be possible but it's currently so far outside of my realm of experience that all I end up feeling is envy of my own characters.

I don’t live a man's life, and it's a case of the grass seems infinitely more green on the other side.

But if you're making something up you can literally just remove the sexism and societal baggage because that's what writing allows you to do.

That would not feel comfortable to me. I wouldn't enjoy it. It's cool that some people do that and enjoy it, but I don't. The fantasy of a sexism-free society isn't soothing to me because it almost always feels paper thin and false.

So instead, you just write only men and women are weak and unable to do anything ever but be support roles?

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2020-09-21 03:40 (UTC) - Expand

I think this comment is being interpreted too specifically as something about "sexism." Of course it's possible, and sometimes even realistic, to write a story where a woman doesn't face specific sexism. But at least for me, it's that the experience of existing as a woman is tiring and othering even in that absence of specific, identifiable sexism.

In society, as in stories, men are seen as the "default," and female traits exist in opposition to that default. That fact permeates womens' lives, and it permeates depictions of women onscreen and in writing-- no, not that they're all terribly written, but just that the awareness of gender itself is central to the concept of femaleness.

And although there are lots of people who truly "feel" gender in such a way that they would still have a gender if they lived on their own on a desert island, a lot of people don't. I'm a cis woman, but I don't "feel" female in any way that exists within me and doesn't depend on the society around me. In general, men who don't have strong feelings about gender, just... don't. They don't have to think about it, because they exist as the default gender. Women who don't have strong feelings about gender are in the position of being reminded about gender, in small ways that are just baked into the fabric of daily life, all the time.

Men, as a general rule, have the privilege of not having to think about gender in their daily lives. I enjoy borrowing that privilege when I write, and I enjoy empathizing with characters who possess it. It feels like expressing an aspect of myself that I don't always have the channels for in my daily life. And crucial to that is that the aspect in need of expression is not maleness. It's just "not-female-ness."

All of these are blanket statements not applicable to everyone, of course, and they intersect with race and sexuality in yet more ways that create more pockets of inaccuracy. But as for my own explanation for why, when I look at my AO3, slash vastly outpaces het or femslash-- yes, I'm pretty certain that this is the reason.

Is it a Good Reason? Would it be better, for me or for society or for the cause of un-centering men's viewpoints as the non-gendered default, if those of us who felt this way wrote about more women? Maybe! And to be honest, I do get excited when I find a story centring women that I feel as strong a pull to write about as I feel for my slash ship. I enjoy finding women that I want to spend time with. But honestly, out of all of the possible places I could pour my energy, ways I could improve myself or contribute to the world-- it's not a priority.

> Men, as a general rule, have the privilege of not having to think about gender in their daily lives.

Bitch, I'm a cis woman and I have never once thought about my gender all the time, only when it's brought up or is relevant. What the absolute fuck?

This. I'm concerned for a lot of the people in this thread because, uh, what kinds of people are they spending their time around that's making them feel that way?

Re: DA

tei - 2020-09-21 02:27 (UTC) - Expand

Okay, cool?

There's a word for that. It's something that starts with a P and rhymes with "scribblage." Weird that I can't think of it.

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2020-09-22 23:27 (UTC) - Expand

That's nice, dear.

Lol well that one way to respond to a comment.

This is a good comment, and I'm sorry it had to be wasted on these asshats.

'You just don't like female characters and it's on you to figure out why.'

except that I don't have to do shit with my free time.

"the thing where people plainly prefer dick but instead of owning it they try to come up with some dumb bullshit to seem woke, like "the women just aren't interesting in this show"."

I get what you mean.

(Not all M/M shippers are like that, far from it. But the ones who are are insufferable.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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