fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5113 ]

[ SECRET POST #5113 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5113 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I know this is not going to sound kind, but given the limited interaction you had:

They aren't your friend, you are a COMPLETE stranger to them, and if this is driving you to depression, I think you really need to speak to a therapist about it. I don't mean that flippantly, but it sounds like the parasocial relationship is harming you.

They don't hate you, they blocked you--I don't hate 99% of the ppl I block. I just dont want to see what they are inlvolved in/have bad takes/I find them annoying. You are putting emotions onto them in a way that you shouldn't and I mean this in a kind way; please think about getting help. Driving you to depression, obsessing over it to this point is incredibly unhealthy.

This person's comment is a bit harsh, but there is some truth there.

As someone who's overly empathetic and has severe anxiety, I have some pretty intense emotional hurt moments like you OP, where another person's actions online really effect me deeply. As soon as I recognize this is happening for me, I take a few days break from social media.

Honestly, social media can be pretty detrimental to people with preexisting mental health illnesses/issues.

Please reevaluate your social media time OP, if only for your own health. And when you find yourself spiraling, talk about it with someone you love, or a therapist, if talking about it with someone IRL that knows you, makes you uncomfortable. This effecting you this deeply is not good.

Stay safe and stay sane OP. <3

AYRT's comment is extremely harsh, and probably wouldn't have helped the OP at all. They should have just told the OP that their parasocial relationship was unhealthy and to seek professional help, and leave it. Comments like "They don't hate you, they blocked you" are things that someone without depression wouldn't need to be told and someone with depression aren't going to listen to. They'll just come off as dismissive.

Second anon in chain here:

yes, this is true. But for those of us with emotionally divergent brains: ie who have to struggle with mental illnesses all our lives, sometimes it is a good thing to hear what those who don't struggle with mental illnesses think like. Our thoughts and anxieties can sometimes get us so far away from healthy emotional/mental responses, that it's kind of a good thing to understand how other people think and respond to a situation.

Though when you're the one hurt, it can often be hard to see this and not cringe away from the harshness of their tone.

Lastly, us tender-bellied lovelies sometimes need to be reminded that most people in the world are aholes who need to be ignored, and who we shouldn't let affect us because they are just that: aholes who need to be ignored.

First anon is probably one of these, even if they did recommend a good solution: talking with someone irl about this.

People are not assholes just for pointing out the truth. Honestly all this 'overempathy' 'tender bellied lovelies' stuff sounds as if y'all just want to believe you're better than everyone else.That anon was giving good advice and saying they should be ignored is of no actual help to OP whatever.

Hey, if the shoe fits. People are aholes for being caustically rude in a way that they know is cruel. first commenter actually even wrote they knew they were being cruel. It takes like 2 seconds to rephrase to be kinder.

People who are superfeelers/emotionally divergent unfortunately feel the highest highs and the lowest lows easier than other people. I never implied that made us better. If anything I actually implied it makes us so much worse bc we can easily be pushed into reaction, and unfortunately there are a lot of people in the world who have and will use this against us. Have you ever had someone abuse you into feeling like shit, bc they knew they could do so with only a couple words? I have. It's horrible. Have you ever literally been emotionally incapacitated by a stranger flippantly being rude to you? I have. It feels like your dying inside. I wish I didn't feel as deeply as I do, it would have made my life easier. It would have made me functional as a fcking human being.

Also, I NEVER said anon should have been ignored. Read my comment again. Wow, can't believe I'm writing to someone who doesn't know how to read.

You can't expect complete strangers to know what you're going through and to bend over backwards to accommodate something they don't even know needs accommodating. A large part of how you handle interactions, both online and irl are on you.

And a note: I have emotional issues, but I don't expect complete strangers to magically know this and treat me like a delicate piece of glass when they don't even know me.

Here's the deal. If you know you have anxiety and depression, then you know your brain is a liar some of the time, but it can be hard to sort through what's an appropriate response and what's brain chemistry shenanigans. "They don't hate you, they blocked you" is exactly the kind of thing that people with anxiety and depression do need to be told. "Harsh" would have been telling OP that they need to get over themselves and stop acting like the jilted lover in a gothic romance. Telling them that they're seeing 'hate' where it doesn't exist, that they need to take a step back and talk to someone about what's going on with them is just a badly needed reality check.

this. think about it for a moment: if they've never interacted with you, why would they hate you? i block all kinds of people for the simple fact that i don't like what they post and i don't want to see it. it's nothing personal and in fact i might very well be happy to interact with them directly, i just really hate the fanart they like to reblog or whatever.

+1

I've unfollowed mutuals because they can't resist getting into long, drawn-out arguments. I usually agree with the person I've unfollowed, but can't take the multi-page arguments on my dash anymore.

Sometimes the drama isn't about the person being blocked or unfollowed. It's about whatever they're responding to or reposting. And even then, 'hate' is pushing it. 'Mild annoyance that I don't want to deal with in my fun space' is more accurate.

+1

Random people on the internet don't owe us anything. If they blocked you, get over it and move on.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #5113 ]

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