fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #770 ]

[ SECRET POST #770 ]

⌈ Secret Post #770 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

101.

[Earth: Final Conflict seasons 1-4]

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102.

[West Wing]

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103.

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104.

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105.

[30 Rock, Tina Fey/Alec Baldwin]

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106.

[Prince of Tennis]

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107.

[Wall-E]

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108.

[Rookies]

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109.

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110. [repeat]

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111.

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112.

[Grace Potter and the Nocturnals]

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113.

[Saw III]

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114.

[Sapphire and Steel]

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115.

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116.

[Wilby Wonderful/Paul Blart: Mall Cop]

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117.

[Fruits Basket]

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118.

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119.

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120.

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121.

[The Spider Cliff Mysteries

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122.

[Avatar/The Addams Family]

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123.

[The Invisible]

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124.

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125.

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126.

[Christian Bale]

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127.

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128.

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129.

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130.

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131.

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132.

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133.

[Dollhouse]

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134.

[Vickie Guerrero, WWE]

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135.

[R Truth/Ed Reed, WWE/Baltimore Ravens]

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136.

[Gears of War/Metal Gear Solid]

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137.

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138.

[Jon Stewart]

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139. [repeat]

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140.

[Tom Waits, Wristcutters]

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141.

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142.

[A Mighty Wind]

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143.

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144.

[Malice Mizer, Kami]

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145.

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146.

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147. [repeat]

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148.

[Sarah: The Bad Girl's Club]

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149.

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150.

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151.

[Pineapple Express]

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152.

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153.

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154.

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155.

[My Name is Earl]

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156.

[Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart]

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157.

[Torchwood]

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158.

[BSG]

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159.

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160.

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161.

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162.

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163.

[BSG]

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164.

[Ace Attorney]

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165. [repeat]

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166.

[Lord of the Rings]

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167.

[Pascal Curious + Nervous Subject - The Sims 2]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #110.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - repeat ], [ 1 - doing it wrong ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You know, there's really nothing anti-feminist about knight-in-shining-armour / Damsel-in-distress fantasys.

Nor is there anything wrong with rape fantasys.

No matter what people say. What gets you off makes no difference on how you tret and resect real people.

Sure it does, since there's usually a reason for what gets you off, and so there's no way that there's something about your attitude that isn't informing your fantasy. That kind of thing is worth thinking about. If she's concerned because her fantasy doesn't align with her values, well... I don't think "stop thinking/worrying about it" is very good advice. Find out why you feel that way, and what you want to do with that information. It's better than wondering.

I think sexuality and sexual fantasies stem from a completely different area of the brain. Sex is like eating, it's fulfilling a primal need, it has nothing to do with the rest of your conscious brain. That's how I look at it, anyway.

That's possible. But at the same time, if that were true, wouldn't vanilla sex be good for everyone? Why do people make elaborate fantasies, and why do different things appeal to different people? I don't think any fantasy is necessarily bad, I just think that they have reasons for existing and that you can't completely separate the things you like from your reality.

I think it's because everybody is different. Is there a deeper reason why everybody doesn't like the same color? Or the same food? Or genre of music? Not really. Just different tastes.

The reason she probably wonders is because her fantasies are looked down on more than, say, something like bondage?

Genre of music? Probably. I don't know about the other two, but you could certainly argue that your favourite colour has to do with your favourite associations, and your favourite foods have to do with what you liked when you grew up eating.

I think the reason she wonders is that it's supposedly "unfeminist" to have fantasies like that... Bondage might be similarly problematic, for her. I don't really think it's an issue or something to get upset about. I just think the best way to relieve yourself of that guilt is to try to sort out why and make peace with it.

I disagree.

Do you think people who like action movies are sadists who want to kill alot of people?

Im an absolute pasifist, but I still kill cops in the most interesting and entertaining way possible in gta, Thats somthing I enjoy that doesnt mesh with my real life values. You think I should be concerned? I think if your values dont mesh with your fantasies, its cause you have a clear line between fantasy and reality. But thats just me.

Do you think people who like action movies are sadists who want to kill alot of people?

No, but I do think people who like action movies do so for a reason. There is no clear line between fantasy and reality because your fantasy always reflects your reality. It's not as simple as "people who like action movies are sadistic and violent," and if you're going to dumb it down to that then of course you're going to find that it isn't true. Just because it isn't that simple, though, doesn't mean that it's a completely arbitrary thing.

I mean... either you think that what you like is completely arbitrary, genetic, or a product/reflection of your reality. There really aren't any other options that I can see.

and if you're going to dumb it down to that then of course you're going to find that it isn't true

Occams razor, baby

I find that most the time if it doenst work on a basic level, you're probably barking up the wrong tree.

There is no clear line between fantasy and reality because your fantasy always reflects your reality

I think I can totally exclude myself from that.

I find that most the time if it doenst work on a basic level, you're probably barking up the wrong tree.

If you believe that, then then whole concept of socialization is completely worthless, since there are no simplified, one-to-one relationships that you can draw. People are more complex than that.

I think I can totally exclude myself from that.

It doesn't really matter if you think you can.

But there's still a reason for you to enjoy that which is worth looking at, and at least understanding thoroughly instead of passing off as 'just fantasy' and insisting on it as being completely separate from yourself.

I know I do it as well; pass off the excitement of stylized violence or fascination with morbid fiction as completely separate from my 'real self', but I don't think that's quite it. Deep down, I've come to accept that sometimes it is a part of the primal humanity of myself; the fascination of what I can do when it is within my power (whether that's trapping my sims in a doorless room and letting them die, or writing stories where characters go through hell). Sometimes it's the former, where it's a rather simple victimless experiment that you do because you can, and it is several steps away from killing bugs because you can, so I don't- say- judge children as harshly when their morbid fascination with their own power over other lives drives them to such things. Sometimes it's the latter, where it's a mix of that instinctive drive to express power over imaginary- but still symbolic- things, an intellectual interest in the outcomes of the situations, and an emotional connection to the story.

So, no. I am not a sadist that likes to kill people, but there is a part of my brain that connects to emotions related to those ideas as they are displayed in action movies; whether defensiveness, righteous anger, or the prideful display of power. Or hell, maybe even just the exuberance of physical activity.

And nor am I a woman with a desire to be raped. But there is a part of my brain with the base instinctive desire for a partner who is aggressive and strong, which the rape fantasy speaks to, even though my conscious and active personality doesn't desire it. I think it's important to recognize it, but not necessarily give it active credence in the makeup of the conscious decisive self.

Thank you. You make it sound so much less clumsy than when I try to say it.

Ah, you're welcome. This is a subject I've done a lot of thinking on, and I used to react very defensively to before I came to a better understanding of the relationships between fiction and reality, which are so much more fascinating and complex than most people give them credit for.

What is the point in making women feel guilty about their sexual fantasies. How exactly does that empower women? You can't control what turns you on, but you can beat the crap out of yourself trying to figure it out -- or you can accept that fantasy is not a reflection on your morality or what you'd do or advocate in real life -- unless by some coincidence it is.

Women need to be able to relax and lose their inhibitions to get their full sexual pleasure.

Please, repeat to me the part where I told her to beat herself up for it. Had you bothered to read my comment, you'd see that I advocated it as a solution to not beat herself up or feel guilty.

I think you and

t3h_toby_chan owned this conversation. Period. It's exactly what I wanted to say except that I don't think I could ever put it quite so eloquently. Thank you for being a voice of reason in a room full of "reality != fantasy... mutually exclusive, durr".

I love reading long, thought-provoking arguments on the internet, because they're so rare nowadays (at least in this part of the internet).

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #770 ]

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