[ SECRET POST #5336 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5336 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 29 secrets from Secret Submission Post #764.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

Might sound harsh, but it sounds like the hoarding is a big, big source of "nasty surprises" and tbh i'm surprised your friend hasn't given you a goddamn ultimatum.

I get hoarding is complex, but at this point, it's doing nothing for you but making you more depressed.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty sure AYRT knows this. It's just hard to actually fix the problem, even when you know it's a problem.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I get that, but I'm also very unsympthetic having lived with a hoarder and currently watching a friend waste her life unfucking her grandma's hoarder house full of bedbugs while her grandma laments losing all the trash.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how difficult that must be. I completely understand where you're coming from. And it's alright not to be sympathetic in this case.

I just hope that AYRT can recover from this before things inevitably get worse because of their hording.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

+1

I do have sympathy for both sides here, but honestly, I'm with the friend in this case. Especially since they're apparently sharing property, and the rats OP admits to and any other vermin the hoarder hell has attracted are going to impact her as well, if they haven't started already.

Re: Vent thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT--Oh, I know it's not helping my mental health. But friend has her own mental health issues including, up until last year, living in squalor pretty much. I came up at Halloween one year to clean for truck or treaters and found the Halloween decorations still up when I came up to drop off Christmas presents, under layers of stuff and dirt.

She doesn't get attached to things like I do, or have trouble buying new things when old ones are still usable. But she does have trouble cleaning. Man, the fights we'd get into about scrubbing down the bathtub and cleaning the toilet, and picking up after cat litterbox accidents... yikes.

She spent lockdown getting her house in order. When we shared a living space we would give each other ultimatums but also trade chores; I'd do her dishes if she swept, stuff like that.

I did some of that for the first couple weeks, but mostly cleared the yard of weeds and then spiraled and didn't leave the house until I was called back to work. She continued to clean while working from home for the rest of 2020; I had anxiety attacks constantly because I was working in person after the first month and taking public transit to get there. Now for the first time in years her house is a little grimy, but totally liveable.

I expect to get a better handle on the hoarding soon because I'm transferring somewhere I can walk to work. One less source of anxiety, but also more cleaning time.

I kept a way better handle on everything when I worked half time, I would spend a day cleaning counters and the stove, or the fridge, or the bathroom, or vacuum and mop. Sometimes I'd do movie marathons and clean four days in a row. Now I have to fit all my cleaning and other errands and a life, such as it is, around a full time job and commute. I just about have the energy left over to get groceries, cook, do dishes, exercise, put trash and recycling out, and lug laundry to the laundromat. Everything else has to wait for a rare high energy day with nothing else going on.

We have different dysfunctions; when she got bad I would go fish dishes out of the spare room because she would stack them up and hide them rather than wash them. I remember her house growing up was worse than me at my worst; it wasn't exactly that any one family member (she lived in the same room with her dad, in a house with her 2 uncles, a cousin, and her dad's parents) was a hoarder really, but the only responsible adult was her frail paternal grandfather so nobody cleaned much and everyone smoked, and everyone's belongings piled up in the spare room and spilled into the yard.

She also pays no rent despite making $10 more an hour than I do. She can leave if she wants. She's actually in line to inherit her grandparent's house where she grew up and there's only one uncle left living there she gets along with, she could move in there too and it's less than five miles away, or she makes enough to rent somewhere or probably, at this point, buy a place.

And the rats have been a problem since my dad bought the place; parts aren't to code and make for easy vermin access. I stopped leaving a fruit bowl on the counter, put the chicken food and cat kibble in a metal trash can, and patch holes when I find them, but there are fruit trees and shrubs and birdbaths outside and I refuse to pave over everything or use poison, so there will be rats regardless, especially as my neighbors are hoarders with a yard like a junkheap. Up until last year, I rarely saw rats, or droppings or anything, inside. I caught two mice in May 2020, then never saw another mouse inside. I think the first rat showed up in August 2020? Somewhere around there. Before then they were a garden and chicken coop nuisance, not a house problem.

They got into the stove and made nests in the oven insulation, but they mostly seem determined to chew through the wall to the cupboards under the kitchen sink and into the p-trap. There's nothing under the sink but clean dishes, bleach, soap, spray cleaners, and a couple empty vases, and there's other water sources that are way easier to access, idk. Going to replace those pipes with metal next time, if I can find some.

The rats don't seem to have done the fridge in, it was just old, like most of the appliances and the house.

And now I've gotta get up and ready for work, feed my cat and hens, and clean some more.