[ SECRET POST #5344 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5344 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #765.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What are some of the most annoying fic things you hate?

[(Anonymous)]

DA - In AYRT's example it's clear that it's Mira taking Cindy's hand.

If it's not clear who is performing the action or saying the thing in a scene, the first thing to do as a writer is ask whether you could focus more on characterization to help the reader intuitively know who is speaking/acting. But even if you can't think of a way to make it more character-adherent, sometimes you just have to pick your battles and accept that there may be brief points where who said what gets a tiny bit blurry, and what's really important is to make sure those points don't occur during particularly important moments.

Even in original novels that are relatively well-regarded I sometimes find myself counting back dialogue in an every-second-line-is-his-which-suggests-this-line-is-probably-the-other-guy's way. It's not ideal, but as long as it doesn't happen too often it doesn't ruin the story for me, or even the scene. But epithets (except in the very specific instances where they make sense) do ruin the story for me. They stick out like a store thumb and scream "WEAK WRITING!" from the top of their lungs.

NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

> They stick out like a store thumb and scream "WEAK WRITING!" from the top of their lungs.

You sound like all those "said is dead" people who give the shittiest writing advice because it's all you got growing up and all that matters is how blad white bread Le Criteeks see it, even tho they're inherently biased toward bland white cis men's writing.

Re: NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Oop, guess I touched a nerve.

Just know that if you're using epithets in your writing, you are losing a significant percentage of your adult readers right out of the gates.

Re: NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

Why so rude?

Re: NAYRT

[(Anonymous)]

I think if you actually read widely and diversely, you'll find it's NOT only white cis men who are interested in what can be done with things like narrative voice and sentence structure.

The example you gave was bland and white bread, because there's no variation in the sentence structure, and no flow to it. "Character did this. Then Other Character did that." It's very flat.

In the end, there's no advice that can replace reading a lot of various kinds of really good stuff - there's a LOT of fantastic writing out there by people who aren't cis white men, especially in the SFF field - and actually study their technique and learn how they create mood and flow in their writing. You will almost never see a lot of epithets in high-level pro writing, regardless of the background of the writer.