fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5429 ]

[ SECRET POST #5429 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5429 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 221 secrets from Secret Submission Post #777.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Got a gripe? Need to vent about something? Post it here!

Reader's Digest sent me another copy of October's issue instead of November's issue. NOt a major gripe, but a little annoyed about this. I was looking forward to reading the magazine in a bath only to realize it was one I'd already read.

Also, our neighbor's son is loud. He drives a motorcycle and is always revving the engine at early and late hours. And he plays music too. He's really obnoxious.

I hate morning sickness. Everything smells or tastes awful. No food is eatable.

So at beginning of the year I took over the logistics role at my job with no previous experience. And the person who taught me was dogshit at their job (and I had like 2 weeks to learn everything).

Reddit has helped me with a ton of questions but it is so frustrating getting no help from my job (since no one else has an logistics experience). I asked about a certain program today and the guy who knows about it was just so useless. And like...do I go back to my boss and tell him the guy didn't help at all? But the guy is higher in the company than my boss so...idk.

You kinda have to tell your boss to make it clear that you tried and it's not your fault you didn't get an answer. Since the guy is above your bosses' level it's not like there's going to be negative consequences for him.

Also, being at a job where you need training or mentoring and not getting it is awful. I hope your company realises that they're leaving you in the lurch.

One of my bunnies needed emergency dental surgery today. (And still isn't eating again - though she handled the anesthesia well, which is a relief because she is a tiny 2-pound thing.)

Naturally this was the day a ton of my coworkers took off, so I was the only person in the web dev department (WFH thank goodness), AND the only vet appointment available today was at the same time that I had previously arranged to pick up my groceries using curbside. AND it was a sunny day and I still have a migraine.

Everything has just been nonstop and I want to just roll over and fall asleep, but I finally got to have some coffee to deal with the migraine and exhaustion around 3pm (since I couldn't swallow anything before driving/talking and expect it to stay down) and it's finally kicking in. -_-

...And capping it off, since the vet appointment and the grocery pick-up were scheduled for the same time, I planned it all out and packed a cooler bag for my ice cream so I could pick the groceries up with bun in the car, go to the vet and drop her off and go through the preliminaries, and then go home and put my refrigerated/frozen stuff away after like half an hour.

I just now discovered I put away everything that was still in grocery bags (meaning two items, sigh) and left the cooler bag sitting in the middle of the floor. So I just took out my brand new pint of delicious gelato and threw it straight in the trash, and I should not be as angry and depressed about this as I am but everything was just horrible today.

awww, poor bunny rabbit

Yesterday a friend called me twice to bitch about how much her job sucks, and since she refuses to even try to get another job I've heard it all multiple times. I was pretty much just going yeah that sucks, wow that's crazy, damn how awful, etc. etc. etc., and not once did she ask me how I was doing (and I'm having a shit time here lately too). Then she mentions that she doesn't have Uber money to get home because she spent it on lunch (she doesn't drive and we live in a place where you need to drive or be patient with the less-than-ideal public transportation), so I suggested she pack a lunch. She said yeah but the taco truck is better than a pop tart. Like wtf, make a sandwich or a salad??? It felt like she was subtly asking for a ride but I didn't offer because damn she can take the bus. So today she texted me asking for Uber money. Said that two people stood her up for rides. Again, no hey how are you or anything. I ignored the messages. And I'm pissed with her tbh. She knew yesterday she didn't have money and she waited until this afternoon to try and hit me up, like damn figure this shit out, you're a grown-ass adult already. Grr.

I can be a little bit self-involved at times, and supremely unmotivated most of the time, so I started off reading this with the inclination to give your friend the benefit of the doubt. But damn, she sounds like a selfish, immature moocher.

What adult person asks their friend for money for Uber because they spent their Uber money on fast food lunch??! What are they, eleven?!

I broke a tooth just over a week ago and then late last week my water bill was $820, $500 more than it's even been, and I can't find a leak anywhere. I contacted the water department and haven't heard back, and I'm stressed out because property taxes are due soon and I feel super poor.

(context: this is all online)
May I ask for some advice? I confessed to someone I have strong feelings for almost a year ago. Since then we've been through a series of mis-adventures and now he says he's okay with talking to me. He's opened up a bit here and there and seems fine chatting once in a while. I send him funny pictures and he laughs, etc.

I've noticed a few months ago there was another woman who is already in a relationship that started flirting with him and baiting him. He fell for her. I could tell because he would throw suggestive innuendo at her and make a point to follow through with jokes and compliment her all the time. He's really uptight and never says things like this in general. She drops here and there that she has a boyfriend (who is not in the same server) and has started to back down a bit, but he still flirts with her. She continues to bait him and he falls for it every time.

I tried to warn him in indirect ways, but he didn't seem to take the hint. It almost feels like I'm in competition for his attention with someone who is already taken(?). Something about the whole situation doesn't sit well with me. What do you think I should do? So far I've tried to resist the temptation to be critical or blaming. I don't want to be seen as negative. But it does bother me a lot, both on her part and his. I don't want to ruin a potential friendship with him, because he's told me things he hasn't told anyone else now. What do you think my options are?

Honestly? Stay the hell out of that mess.

Be a friend if he calls you up and needs a friend, but otherwise back off.

a) everyone has the right to make their owm stupid-ass decisions and he and his new friend are adults

b) you are incredibly emotionally involved and it's very easy for you to be hurt, badly, by the decisions made by people who aren't you.

I understand why you care, and I respect you for that. But this is not a good situation for you to be.

Hug?

Re: Vents and Gripes: The Thread

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 06:19 (UTC) - Expand

OP

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 07:11 (UTC) - Expand

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 09:08 (UTC) - Expand

I don't know if I could give you any advice, frankly. It's a delicate situation. You know how he is as a person, and you are his friend (your romantic feelings aside). I mean, if she's told him that she has a man already, and they keep doing this...what exactly are you warning him about? Short of telling him "hey, friend, remember that she's with somebody, are you going to keep engaging/responding to her flirtation? Do you feel like that's the best or right thing to do?" he would seemingly be aware of what he's doing?

If your friend and this lady keep flirting, that's on them. And I say that not because you shouldn't care, but because a) some people don't view flirting while in a relationship an issue, others do; b) your friend is capable of making decisions (even if it sucks because it's not you he's directing the feelings toward, :C ) aka deciding how and whether or not to engage with her.

It's obvious you care and don't want him getting hurt or getting into problems, and maybe just talking to him, just once, and letting him know that you're his friend, and so you don't want him ti get hurt,so he should be cautious or reconsider what he's doing. I mean, what more an you do? You can also not say anything. We can only control our own actions, no?

Also, general question --how do you end up firming a relationship (let alone catching feelings) for someone on a server? Just messaging them or ...? Because what servers are these?

Good luck anon

OP

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 06:53 (UTC) - Expand

Stay out of it. And not trying to be a bitch here, but if he was interested in you, he would be with you. He is interested in the other woman if he's flirting with her. Now what her intentions are, idk. Maybe she likes him, maybe she likes the attention he gives her, maybe she wants something on the side, maybe she gets her jollies stringing him along. Really all you can do is get out of the way of this eventual train wreck, and if he's flirting with someone he knows is in a relationship, that doesn't say much about his character. Remember that how you get them is how you lose them, and if he's willing to cheat with her, he would cheat on you too.

OP

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 06:59 (UTC) - Expand

so he knows she's in a relationship but considers his feelings more important. if they do end up doing something stupid it will not have been your fault, he's 100% aware and even hoping that's how it will turn out. i think you shouldn't suppress your feelings on the matter because it seems to me you're only doing that because you still have some vague hope that he will fall for you instead

OP

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 21:42 (UTC) - Expand

Reading this pretty late, but I add my vote to stay out of it. It's too complicated, and your past history of romantic interest in this guy means you're at a higher risk of clouded judgment. But a few things to consider:

* Your friend knows this girl is supposedly dating someone, and he knows she's still flirting anyway, and he's 100% cool with that. That doesn't speak well of his morals or judgment, even if there are extenuating circumstances like being lonely or desperate.

* You've been trying to hint that he's heading into danger. Let's be honest: HE KNOWS. And he does not care. You might be falling into that mindset of "But I have to save him!" You can't save someone from their own bad decisions. Because that's what it'd be. The girl isn't innocent, but she's not the only one who deserves blame in this situation. Your guy friend, assuming he's a consenting adult, is choosing to participate in this idiocy.

Let him make his own bad decisions and deal with the consequences. Don't white knight. And maybe don't be the person who's trapped in the friend zone trying to rescue the dude who is not interested in her or he would've been dating her already. I am so sorry, but please consider expanding your friendship circle and finding nicer people to hang out with in the future.

OP

(Anonymous) - 2021-12-01 02:02 (UTC) - Expand

I am so fucking tired of being told what fandom preferences I have to have, who I have to think is sexy, and which characters I have a moral obligation to like.

I get this. Try to curate your social media if you're able to.

Man, sometimes I wish these 2D men were real.

I'd like to be more active in fandom.and even post fic, communicate and do round robins, but I don't have it in me ATM, I don't want to post fic I'm never gonna finish and kinda make for just me to enjoy but statically i know at least 2 other people must enjoy it as well. AND where does one find challenges on A03?round robins?

Oh I hate my neighbourhood and how fucking LONG it takes to fix stuff.

Can I please find consistently affordable and reasonably safe housing where I don't have to share space with 50,000 other tenants who don't pay rent?

Wish I could build my own house where I'm not bothered by shitty neighbors or too awful events. I'm aware shit happens and that this is close to if not a pipe dream now.

It wouldn't help if I could get my financial problems taken care of too...

Re: Vents and Gripes: The Thread

(Anonymous) - 2021-11-17 14:26 (UTC) - Expand

A tumblr user occasionally reblogs fan art I like but also a lot about a band I don't follow. But now she's reblogged her third anti-adjacent post and I'm done. "There's a difference between writing dark stuff to cope and writing dark stuff to enjoy it." IDK hun seems like neither is your business. Pretty similar really.

The roommate I occasionally vent and gripe about was gone for a week and left their window open. Yes when they left we were having highs in the 70s lows in the 50s but jesus tapdancing christ it's November we have 9 hours of sunlight and a high in the 30s today. I thought the seals around the windows in my room were failing. I was planning on getting those plastic sheets to tape around all the windows in the house. I should have just assumed the roommate was the problem and checked that room like they are a kid. FUCK. Luckily there wasn't any water damage and now that it's been brought to their attention that it's not a cool thing to do they probably won't do it again.

This person is 8 years older than me and has a whole extra level of education I cannot understand why they can't adult to even my minimal standards.

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