fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5523 ]

[ SECRET POST #5523 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5523 ⌋

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08. [SPOILERS for Encanto]

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09. [SPOILERS for Head AS Code and Birth ME Code]

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10. [WARNING for discussion of abuse/sexual harassment/etc]

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Join in if you need to vent!

Rant time!

So I've been trying to set up a seed library for my organization at the location where I work. I'm not great at organization or planning or anything other than scutwork, but my boss wants me to use a skill I am decent at--gardening.

People check out seeds, grow plants, harvest seeds from the plants, and (ideally) bring those seeds back to the seed library, so other people can do the same.

I have a budget of $0.00, and other local seed libraries got their start by soliciting donations from garden centers and seed companies, so I've been putting together a list of companies and organizations to reach out to and beg for seeds, in exchange for publicizing their generosity in our programs and flyers and stuff.

I'd already crossed Baker Creek/Rare Seeds off years ago after their support of the Bundy anti-government militia that had a shootout with federal agents.

And now I have to add J.L. Hudson Seeds because they updated their website in support of the anti vax pro white nationalist trucker convoy.

Seed Savers Exchange has (temporarily?) suspended their donation program.

Native Seed Search focuses on Native and low income communities and the closest we come is being on Native land.

Idk what to do. Do I just grit my teeth and promote racist antivax shitheads at my job?

Bonus rant: I really wanted to order from JL Hudson, they have stuff that's not commercially available or only available from Baker Creek. Sometimes I think about ordering from one or both of them and then donating an equal amount to leftest orgs to balance it out. I mean, I still order from Amazon, so am I being a hypocrite by giving any fucks at all?

I don't think you're being a hypocrite. It sucks you would have to promote these assholes. :/

AYRT--thanks. I'm just starting to think there's no good options because on the one hand, the biggest of the big seed companies are all owned by Monsanto and their ilk, but it seems like the largest of the anti Monsanto and other megacorp seed companies either started as, or in recent years have become, anti-vax, anti-science, anti-government, pro-white supremacy, and pro-"woo."

I just wish there were more seed companies that didn't make me feel like my conscience needed a bath after giving them my money or free publicity at my job.

Can you get the free seeds from the crappy companies and put them in plain envelopes or tape over the brand names?

Most amateur gardeners aren't going to be researching their donations anyway, and you're getting free stuff from them, so, eh.

This because so many companies suck now and give donations to the political party I hate, I'd have to switch providers and retailers and brands constantly to keep up.

AYRT--I would be divvying up donated seeds into smaller packets regardless, but the organization I work for would be paying them with publicity by having "made possible by the generosity of ~~White Supremacist Nutjobs~~ ABC Seed Company" on our website, flyers, programming, etc.

And I suspect my boss will put the brakes on asking them for donations, because this is the kind of question that gets run by the publicity office or whatever it's called.

Our department by itself has 750+ people, so I know we have a press office or something. I've just never worked on anything that warranted their attention, and I'm 99% sure my boss' job involves vetoing shit that might make us look bad before it gets that far.

Re: I need advice too, idk

(Anonymous) - 2022-02-19 03:12 (UTC) - Expand

honestly, as a gardener and native plant promoter, I think you're doing the right thing.

As for advice, reach out to any nonprofits in your area supporting anything from prairies to community gardens - they may have less in terms of quantity of sharable seeds, but they will definitely be more willing to share for just a little blurb vs money. I don't know how it is in Canada (I'm guessing from your hints) but in my area of the US, I'm a member of 3 different prairie and native plant organizations that will happily trade my volunteer time harvesting seeds for a portion of said seeds. If you're looking at food crops, a community garden or similar will be helpful.

Alternately, you can put out a newsletter or memo for your workplace suggesting donations from people who would be most willing to donate a few bucks in exchange for priorty access to seeds, and you can then buy seeds from reputable sellers.

AYRT--I'm in the US state abbreviated as CA rather than the North American country abbreviated as CA. Which is one of the reasons the JL Hudson seed company supporting the convoy is such a red flag; they're also in California, but their website is currently plastered with "the pandemic is over, this is tyranny!!!"

Which was especially annoying since I'd assumed, like an idiot, that a company that mailed out seed catalogues using Ursula Le Guin stamps was unlikely to be full up of right-wingers.

I suspect they started as left wing anti-government types and have Frankensteined themselves into an unholy amalgamation of anti-government sentiment with the "my liberty includes the right to cough in your face after refusing to get vaccinated" crowd. I'm working up the steam to send them an angry "you just lost a good customer and free publicity opportunity in one go" email, but I feel like an asshole when I think of being that kind of customer.

Plus I feel guilty because this is the first time I've ever considered buying from a company whose actions I loathe and salving my conscience by donating money to another organization working against what I hate them for. Like I said, I buy from Amazon, but the sheer scale of Amazon makes me think my energy is better spent working toward better conditions and union rights for warehouse workers than avoiding all things Amazon forever.

Not placing a $400 seed order with one of these relatively small seed companies and sending them a nasty email saying I never will again seems more likely to yield results.

The only community garden in our area is run by an anti-vax church, sigh.

So far, my list of places to go begging includes Native Seed Search, the local chapter of the California Native Plant Society (which buys their seeds from, among others, JL Hudson), the local chapter of the Audobon society (who also buys from JL Hudson), and several local nurseries (that buy seed from Baker Creek.)

At this point, I'm thinking I may just start as many plants as I can from my existing seed stock originally from JL Hudson and Baker Creek and add seeds to the library as I harvest them.

But some native plants take years to flower and set seed, and my yard isn't big enough to isolate cultivars of veggies and fruit to prevent cross-pollination.

Maybe I should just tell my boss that if she wants me to do this I can write up a proposal and see if the people who raise money for us could throw some our way.

Argh. This is why I want to stay a low level cog in the machine and not promote much higher, my brain is frying just trying to tackle this minor problem.

Would it be possible to contact heirloom seed exchanges? The ones I knew about were groups of people who just grew the plants and exchanged the seed without being profit making businesses. They have an interest in preserving heirloom varieties, so maybe they would be interested in helping you.

AYRT--I would, but googling and checking out local gardening and plant groups doesn't really turn much up. There's only one nearby community garden and it's run by a conservative church. There are lots of flower societies for things like orchids and roses, but they aren't the same thing.

There are a few other seed libraries run by employees of or volunteers for the organization I work for dotted around for 20 miles or so, but they got their seeds from some of the companies on my "like fuck am I giving you free publicity unless it's me banging a drum screaming about you being racist shitheads" list, and they were started either before the less savory views were being broadcast, or maybe by volunteers who didn't do much research, or (hopefully not) by people who agreed with them.

My sister is just exhausting. And she expects everyone to change to meet her expectations and yet she won't bend at all for anyone else. Something small yesterday became a whole thing about how it is my fault we aren't closer because I don't tell her my needs. You want to know why I don't tell her my needs? Because she dismisses them every time? I've learned from my family not to express myself and to keep my needs bottled up and to bend to everyone else. And now I'm getting yelled at for doing that too. I just can't win.

I'm exhausted, mentally. I don't have the bandwidth for this.

I'm sorry. I don't really have any advice but you're not alone. My sister, who is only 11 months younger than me, spent much of our childhood trying to belittle me, join in with my bullies and generally humiliate me. The bonus awkwardness is as an adult she was diagnosed with bipolar so I feel like I can't speak about the shitty things she did to me without looking shitty myself, much as I empathise with her struggles having grown up with the same mother who basically made BOTH of us scared and anxious of everything. Plus no matter what I would never dismiss anyone's mental health needs.

It's hard keeping in my heart that my sister's condition makes her a vindictive arsehole sometimes. She's much better now she's getting the help she needs and our relationship is better, but we'll never be especially cuddly or anything.

Just the other day she called me and said (as she's said before) "you're so chilled out when mum is being annoying and I just can't be like that" and I had to bite my tongue because the reason I'm chilled out is I had to be, my sister's bad behaviour when she was going through a high phase took up all of my mum and dad's time.

Families are extremely hard even when you love them. I'm sorry you had to bend to the needs of yours a lot. I think your family, like mine, have to accept that this is just the way some of us are now and it doesn't help when they complain about the fact. We don't reveal much of our inner thinking because we learned not to. In my case it was desperately striving for a quiet life by not doing or saying anything that would add to my parents' woes over my sister. Or take attention OFF my sister seeing as she hated that.

We don't reveal much of our inner thinking because we learned not to.

So much yes.

I've learned from my family not to express myself and to keep my needs bottled up and to bend to everyone else.

I think it was Captain Awkward who said recently that survival skills learnt in harsh family situations as a child translate into maladjustment in the wider world; I just went "ouch" at that!

I've used the phrase "I can't win" with someone and been told, in a high and mighty fashion, that it isn't about winning and losing. (Now I use "damned if I do, damned if I don't.)

Sisters and indeed families as a whole should be close and supportive. It's a tough world, what's to be gained from tearing someone else down? And yet they do it. My sister has blocked me because a)I said that due to my own severe health issues I can't look after my mother any more, who is seriously ill and b) wouldn't reveal the exact nature of my GI issues. I mean, who wants to talk about their bowel movements??

Most of my health issues are due to lifelong stress because I had not one but two elder sister who ganged up on me because, I dunno, I was little? They can't figure out why I never had children.

Ugh. Sisters. Hold onto your own sense of self, OP, and very best of luck.

Workplace rant: it’s always the big organizations that can clearly afford us that stiff us on their bills. Tiny little nonprofit? Right on time. National government? Every possible excuse to delay giving us a miniscule fraction of their budget. It’s not universal (one big company pays in five days flat), but it’s noticeable enough to be irritating.

A special circle of hell: when we invoice a legal firm, and then the legal firm tells their insurance to pay us, and no one at the insurance company returns our calls. I’ve been trying to collect some of this money since 2018.

Edited 2022-02-19 00:45 (UTC)

I am so depressed and sapped of motivation. I have a new job starting next week and I'm kind of dreading it. At least I won't have my optimism bubble burst like my last job.

Currently so frustrated about mask mandates lifting and other covid restrictions being rolled back. Because yeah, I get it, cases are down and vaccinated people are largely pretty safe.

And then someone goes "What about the people who can't get vaccinated? Like the kids under 5?"

And someone goes "Well soon Pfizer will approve a vaccine for kids under 5 and everything will be great!"

Meanwhile I know at least 4 adults other than myself who are either unvaccinated because they were advised by their doctor not to because they were likely to have terrible reactions, or are vaccinated but their immune system is so low that the "boost" given by the vaccine is like multiplying by zero, they were tested two weeks after each shot and still don't have any antibodies and thus it was largely a pointless exercise.

No one freaking cares about immunocompromised or otherwise vulnerable people. They are willing to throw us under the bus so they can stop wearing a little piece of cloth on their face. I'm fortunate in that I can work from home and get curbside service at most places I shop, and I'm introverted enough that I really don't care if I get to see/touch other humans more than once every couple years - but a lot of people, including some of my immunocompromised friends, aren't.

Preach it! I am so glad I can work from home.

Though actually, I’ll leave this in case you haven’t seen it: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/recommendations/immuno.html

Also, N95 masks are very, very effective at protecting the wearer. I have multiple friends who were exposed directly to COVID (as in, in the same office/room for a few hours with someone who was infected and in a few cases the infected person wasn't masked) and none of them caught it because they were wearing a good mask.

Re: What time is it? Rant time!

(Anonymous) - 2022-02-19 01:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What time is it? Rant time!

pantswarrior - 2022-02-19 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What time is it? Rant time!

(Anonymous) - 2022-02-19 04:01 (UTC) - Expand

Oh yeah, I've seen it. Early on I went looking for as much info as I could about each of the vaccines and immunocompromised folks. Just the whole thing where I know multiple people who got vaccinated and then didn't produce antibodies... :/

I am especially glad I work from home at the moment, because at the beginning of the pandemic my boss set up a Discord server, and for the last few weeks I've been training a coworker on an app I'm the resident expert with. So a couple days ago another coworker PMed me thanking me for that... because this other coworker is out indefinitely with long covid - and meanwhile the person I'm training is an anti-vaxx/mask nutjob (I already knew this and have been trying to ignore it) and everyone who has to actually go into the office hates her and tries to avoid her (this I did not know but I'm not surprised). So I am apparently doing everyone a service by occupying her time and attention remotely so no one has to do anything with her in person, hahaha.

My immunocompromised mother has been in the hospital with covid for near a month despite being triple vaxxed (improving, thankfully, and will probably be headed to a rehab facility next week to continue her recovery so she can come home). The prevailing opinion of 'we're tired of restrictions and anyone who can't get vaxxed or has immune system issues will just have to deal' is making me just so angry and tired. I hate how many people have decided that vulnerable people should somehow just suck it up and isolate forever because everyone else has decided the pandemic should be over because they want to go shopping without a mask.

Yep. I'd like to think that as a species humanity can do better than "oh well, survival of the fittest" but I am beginning to doubt that. :/

I have a couple friends in their 30s with long covid and it's been terrible. I hope your mother continues to recover and gets back to "normal", however that looks for her (I know all too well that varies).

I get this, and I'm in a risk group for Covid.

But people are not going to mask up indefinitely for us. It's on us to wear N95s or KN95s and not to go to indoor concerts and things. If there was still a mask mandate everybody in the movie theater would be wearing masks anyway, but if I'm the only one, so be it.

If I was in charge of the world, I'd make sure everybody who could be was vaxed and everyone took precautions and had good ventilation in schools, but wearing masks for a small minority that is at more risk was never going to happen long term.

But honestly...I'm still wearing a mask indoor in public areas until this becomes endemic and/or we know about all of the effects of Covid and long Covid. Even if it doesn't kill me, I don't need brain fog and weakness and all of the other things that people forget happens even for some "mild Omicron" victim. F that!

Re: What time is it? Rant time!

(Anonymous) - 2022-02-19 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What time is it? Rant time!

pantswarrior - 2022-02-19 03:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What time is it? Rant time!

(Anonymous) - 2022-02-19 18:39 (UTC) - Expand

That is so frustrating! My cousin's wife has had a kidney transplant and can't build up immunity. I worry about her a lot.

Argh. I'm so mad at people (and governments!) telling others "we just have to live with it," because "living with it" means lots more people will die, and even more will be permanently disabled (or more permanently disabled) and more of those people will die when the next variant, or the next whole new pandemic, hits.

Like, even if COVID only killed disabled and medically fragile people, THEY/WE ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE SACRIFICE TO THE GOD OF RESTAURANTS AND STADIUMS AND "NORMAL" LIFE, and also COVID MAKES DISABLED PEOPLE OUT OF HEALTHY PEOPLE IT DOESN'T KILL, YOU STUPID SELFISH FUCKHEADS!

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