fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #5543 ]

[ SECRET POST #5543 ]

⌈ Secret Post #5543 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Like the cozy coffee shop where you're going to meet-cute the love of your life or the cute cottage that you can totally afford and doesn't require serious renovation or upkeep. It's the glamorous life of the writer or photographer. It's winning the lottery and having zero problems afterwards. It's the dream vacation where everyone is happy all the time, there are no delays or hold-ups, you've got everything you need, and nothing goes wrong.

Yeah, but all of that is also nauseating and calculated to make you unhappy with reality.

Oh, word?

This just in: daydreaming is bad, actually.

Is this daydreaming to you? It's not to me. This just seems unhealthy.

Fantasizing about having an easier and more exciting life is the textbook definition of daydreaming. Travel, being rich, glamorous careers, romance, etc - these are about the most common things in the world to daydream about and almost everyone does it.

Not really. Maybe I just don't daydream anymore then. I think about my own life, stories I'm working on, projects I have lined up. But I stopped daydreaming about unrealistic stuff years ago because it was messing with my mental health.

Sounds like you're only speaking for yourself then. Which is fine, but don't project that onto other people.

I already acknowledged I was speaking for myself. It seems unhealthy to me based on my own experience. Although to be fair, there's also a sizeable body of evidence that wishing for or focusing on the unattainable has a negative impact on mental health, so while my gut reaction here is based on my own experience there is also a larger and measurable trend that has been shown in studies.

I'd assume here that your version of daydreaming is a lot of more intense than what people usually mean. I don't know why people online feel the need to pathologize every single human behavior...

This. Even people’s innermost indulgent daydreams are being armchair psychoanalyzed now? Like, come on. And yes, I’m sure there are “studies” on the trend when it comes to people who can’t tell fantasy from reality, or take the indulgent fantasies too far. But for people just lightly daydreaming, while going about their normal life with no actual expectations of their daydreams randomly coming true? What’s there to actually study? And what’s remotely unhealthy about it?

Ayrt should have ended with “I’m speaking for myself based on my own experiences”, instead of pretending like they have any real reason for judging everyone else with their “gut feeling” and “there is also a larger and measurable trend that has been shown in studies” bs.

+1

Especially in a hobby that's really all about stories and fantasies. Sort of sounds like one of those "wellness" people going to a potluck and pointing out all the reasons why everybody's food is supposedly bad for you.

What...what /is/ daydreaming to you?

*points to comment above*

Maybe other people handle things differently than you do? Just a crazy idea.

Right back atcha. It can seem unhealthy to me, there's nothing invalid in that pov.

There's something invalid if the people you think are unhealthy for daydreaming in a way you don't like are in fact perfectly content and not unhealthy.

+100

If. It's a surprisingly big word.

da but... if you're putting too much time and mental energy into it, yes?

Good thing most people aren’t. Nobody is talking about the most extreme examples, so there’s no need to get pedantic.

Yes, there’s that danger. Ime tho I’ve found it can be useful as a starting point to figure out priorities I have, to kickstart learning about something, or as prompts for art or writing. Like there’s certain fantasies I’m drawn to, specific spaces or situations I imagine being in - why is that? Is it valuing calmness or stimulation? Are there negative thoughts or anxiousness running underneath it all, and I’m puffing or beating myself up? Sometimes those lines of thinking have helped me realize where I need to look to figure out what might be lacking in my life, or misprioritized.

Of course, it can always be just straight indulgence!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #5543 ]

It's a fantasy.

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