[ SECRET POST #5569 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5569 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 20 secrets from Secret Submission Post #797.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I can only speak from my experience and my POV as a first gen South East Asian American woman, and I am aware my POV isn't representative of majority/other Asian women. From my experience, Asian communities still have a lot of internalized misogyny that goes unchallenged and unaddressed. Many individuals want to uphold traditions and that includes upholding the patriarchy and placing value on women creating and caring for a family (so if a guy gives a woman attention she better take it because the worst thing in the world is being a woman alone).
And that's why I don't talk to people about watching Asian dramas. I'm tired of hearing women yet again bash another woman because she isn't living up to the Asian ideal of being self sacrificing by giving up our personal hopes and dream and potential because a guy came in and he's the main character now. And let's not forget the gay panic scare too. A woman's lack of interest in "catching" the guy might make the heroine a lesbian, oh no, Asian women can't be gay or queer. 🙄 Just...so many things. It's best for me to watch and enjoy in silence.

And it's not just women from the motherland. Not just boomer/elder millennial women. It's a big issue that is difficult for me to talk to other Asian women about. Like, even with my own sisters it's difficult to have a nuanced conversation with them about the female experience.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not the OP, and I know very little about Asian dramas generally, but I still really appreciate you sharing your perspective on this issue. As a white person who isn't in any Asian drama fandoms, I often hear about this sort of thing, but it can be really hard to know how much credence to give it when it's not coming from someone with an Asian background. It was really interesting and helpful to hear your observations and thought on the matter!

I'm sorry it's so difficult for you to talk about with other Asian women, though. I have stuff like that that I just can't really get into with my friends/family, and it can be hard sometimes, not being able to connect with them about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for your perspective.

And I'm so sorry it's hard for you to find someone to talk to right now.

OP/Secret maker

[(Anonymous)]

This explains a lot but this mentality doesn't seem to be an Asian thing only.

While many viewers I watch dramas with on Viki and YouTube are indeed from South East Asian countries like Indonesia and Malaysia, there are also lots people from the West, South Asia and the Arab world. Their nationality doesn't matter, I've seen all of them make the same kinds of comments about how a heroine is ungrateful if she doesn't accept a guy's attention and has her own life.

Their thinking is so far from what I'm familiar with that I used to assume those comments must have come from women from more conservative countries (conservative is probably not the correct word...). I was quickly proven wrong when I started to engage more in the English-speaking drama fandom.