[ SECRET POST #5812 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5812 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 41 secrets from Secret Submission Post #832.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Even acting on it doesn't really cross a line. I've had older men tell me I'm beautiful and respectfully ask me if I would join them for coffee etc, then accepted my answer gracefully when I've politely said no thank you.

A whole world of difference between them and the creepy older guy who would wait for me after work and that my boss would walk me home to keep me safe from.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad that you had enough experience to tell them no. Far too many girls, who freshly turn 18, have various older men charm them into relationships filled with red flags they're too young to recognize. I've had so many of my friends cry on my shoulder over the fact that they let themselves be talked into starting a family at 20, and now they're regretting not having had any time to just enjoy the freedoms and opportunities of adulthood, without the massive responsibilities and restrictions that parenthood had put on them. The men who talked them into it, naturally, spent their own young adulthood having all the fun in the world, and once they had their fill they had no qualms about tricking young girls into giving up their own. I have no respect for such people.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're 18 you're not a child. 'Tricked' into a relationship as an adult. Honestly.

[(Anonymous)]

I interact with people that age. They're indistinguishable from children to me. They live with their parents and don't know what having a job and rent is like. When they go to a bank, or an office, or a doctor's appointment, or a meeting with a teacher, their mom does the talking, while they stand obediently in the corner waiting for things to be organized for them. Even those, who have university, pack up their laundry every week and bring it home so that mom can wash it for them. When mom is not around, they contact me panicked, needing me to hold their hand and walk them through every new minor adult experience they have, because things, which to me are just obvious and routine, to them seem like these mysterious and unimaginable feats of strength.

If you're over 30 and believe yourself to be on the same level with maturity and experience as high-schoolers, that doesn't really speak well of you.

[(Anonymous)]

Well you certainly like to babble don't you.

Firstly, where in my comment have I said anything equivalent to:
'If you're over 30 and believe yourself to be on the same level with maturity and experience as high-schoolers, that doesn't really speak well of you.'?

Secondly, it's not preying to simply ask somebody out regardless of age gap if you're both adults. There's a whole lot of predatory behaviours that some people might use in that situation, but it's not a given.

Thirdly, yes people are still young at 18 but they're still adults. Not children. And with that comes some responsibility for your own actions. 'Tricked' into a relationship is a ridiculous description.

[(Anonymous)]

Do list me all the ways that an 18 year old is different from a 17 year old in terms of brain chemistry and experience. If you believe that a 17 year old is too young to make mature decisions with regards to entering a committed romantic relationship with a much older person, what gives you the impression that on their 18th birthday the necessary knowledge and experience will magically materialize inside their brain?

I was a vastly different person at 18 than I am now. So are most people. Anyone who claims otherwise is either a liar, or suffers from some kind of brain damage, because brain goes through massive changes in your 20s, and typically so does your life.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

I interact with people that age, too, and I think you're grossly overgeneralizing here.

More to the point, I don't think you have any right to say "18 year old women are incompetent, they have no way of determining what's best for themselves."

[(Anonymous)]

I think i have every right to say "an 18 year old teenager has vastly less experience to be able to navigate a committed romantic relationship with an older adult equally as well as an adult the same age would".

[(Anonymous)]

DA

When they go to a bank, or an office, or a doctor's appointment, or a meeting with a teacher, their mom does the talking, while they stand obediently in the corner waiting for things to be organized for them. Even those, who have university, pack up their laundry every week and bring it home so that mom can wash it for them.

OK, but this is really pathetic though. You're dealing with a very sheltered, privileged, and helicopter-parented subset of people that age. Sure, bank stuff can be esoteric but this is the age when they need to be learning how to do it. And if someone can get as far as college without knowing how to do laundry, their parents have failed them. It certainly isn't the norm among college students I've known. Plenty of 18-year-olds have jobs, relationships, their own place (probably with roommates unless they're rich)

[(Anonymous)]

There are 16 year olds with jobs and relationships, that doesn't mean their experience and way they process responsibilities is the same as that of middle-aged adults. I have yet to meet an 18 year old who doesn't strike me as very childish. Any middle-aged adult who walks up to them all "greeting fellow kids!" is embarrassing themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT (I think)

That's not my point though. That portrayal of all 18-year-olds as timid and ignorant overgrown children hiding behind their parents and unable to carry out basic hygiene tasks is so insulting to...young adults. If 18-year-olds are really that incapable of making decisions or doing basic life stuff, then we shouldn't let them vote or drive either. Obviously that's an indefensible position that I don't endorse.

I'm a middle-aged adult who has no interest whatsoever in sex with anyone under 30, so no ulterior motive here. There has to be an age where consent begins to respected, and consent includes the right to say YES.

[(Anonymous)]

SA

Also, I want to thank you for proving my point. This is what I meant when I said that we always need to make sure our statements are not vague enough so that middle-aged adults will have the impression that preying on high-schoolers is an acceptable behavior.

[(Anonymous)]

You can be tricked into a relationship as an older person as well, you're not immune to manipulation just because you've hit some abritary number of years alive and 18 year olds do not nessecarily have the experience and knowledge to understand if someone older is trying to lure them into a relantionship that will hurt them.

Frankly I find it weird when adults over-emphasize that 18 year olds are 'adults' in this regard because it always feels like a way of eschewing responsibility from the older participant as if they don't know better and the 18 year old is fully responsible for some older creeps behaviour and actions.

[(Anonymous)]

There is, actually, a massive difference between an older guy asking you out on a casual date and being respectful when you say no...

...and being pressured into starting a family at 20? Like, with marriage and babies and shit? This sounds like you're coming from a patriarchal cult where girls are pressured to marry and have babies young.

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly. And on the flip side, I'm nearly 40. I've had a college-age male barista at Starbucks hit on me and I gently turned him down too. There's no harm in asking as long as you respect a "no" if that's what you get.