[ SECRET POST #5835 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5835 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #835.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I wish I could find resources to help cope with shit I'm never getting diagnosed because apparently its too popular to be taken seriously right now (that and I grew up in the 90s where the UK doctors were adamant that Autism Is A Boy's Thing - so I can't fucking win in any era and too broke to pay for private treatment).

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe it's "popular" because everyone else who experiences things like you do has - just like you - due to increased knowledge and information available, realized that they probably also have ADHD. ADHD is more common than we thought, don't assume you're the real one and everyone else in your boat is a fakey faker who's just cashing in on the "popularity" and hindering you from getting a diagnosis.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

I agree to some extent.

But I also think there's a big problem with diagnosis where just, like, no one seems to know what the fuck is going on with any of these diagnostic categories and no one knows where the lines should actually be drawn. We increasingly have a 'folk' conception of autism and ADHD that's far broader than the formal diagnostic conception - and while it seems clear to me that the 'folk' conception has a good deal of legitimacy, I also suspect that it's over-broad in some ways, because a lot of it is just based on people saying like "this is what life is like for me" and then other people saying "same."

So really it's sort of a bad position for everyone. It's not that people are big fakers, it's that we don't have a good way of diagnosing people and nobody knows WTF is going on.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not the one judging who is or isn't real, its the doctors who I go to for help and changed their opinion from "despite the symptoms that you share with your brother, its impossible for girls to be autistic so its your own fault for being weird - so try not being so weird."
to: "A lot more people come to the doctors asking about possibly having austism, especially women (its almost like we told a generation of girls that they weren't autistic despite exhibiting symptoms, but are not doing that well into adulthood - fucking weird HUH?) - so it must be because its a fad. Stop following the fad and stop struggling with social/anxiety issues - try harder to not be weird and maybe you'll be better."

but honestly I'm used to people being a dick to me because nothing I do will ever be enough and now I'm in my 30s its too late for help for it to matter anyways. So yeah just assume away that its me who has the issue and not the doctors working under an underfunded system and anything that isn't obviously obvious by their standards would be a waste of money if its mental health related. At this point I'm just waiting for people who rely on me as a carer to die off so I can just go too since its all pointless anyways and I can't be a human correctly.

[(Anonymous)]

If you’re in your 30s, you’ve likely got two thirds of your life left, so it’s definitely not too late for help to matter to you. There are professionals that specialize in adult diagnoses and treatment options, and thanks to Covid a lot of them are available remotely. You should consider trying again to find someone who will listen to you.

[(Anonymous)]

As a mid-30s woman pursuing an ADHD diagnosis, I definitely get where you're coming from. I've been feeling like I'm in a similar boat, in that there has been a huge surge in people (especially women) pursuing ADHD diagnoses in the past several years, to the point that many people including doctors DO view it as "trendy" and just assume that I must've seen a bunch of tiktoks and "decided" I have ADHD.

I literally don't even have tiktok. I won't go into my reasons for suspecting I have ADHD, because tl;dr, but suffice to say, I have a bunch of them and they're pretty solid reasons.

For the record, it's not too late for you to get help and for things to get better. I mean, I get where you're coming from with this as well. I'm mid-30s, I have no career qualifications, no friends who live within visiting distance, and there's no way that having a kid is going to be a viable option for me within the next five years. And it's hard not to grieve the fact that in all likelihood, I wouldn't be in this position if I'd been getting the mental health support I needed all these years.

But that doesn't mean things can't get better in real, substantial ways. I'll probably never have a dream life, but I do believe I can have a better one.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT never said it was “popular” in any way that implied they were looking down on anyone. They had already talked about their own problems even getting a diagnosis, why would you assume they were of the belief that others were faking it? Instead of the more likely reason for their comment being that they know how it feels to not be taken seriously for dumb and arbitrary reasons by doctors and society as a whole, were empathetic to the people OP was talking about as a result. There’s nothing in their comment that says that they think they’re the only genuine one in a sea of fakers. All you’ve done by assuming that of them is pointlessly lectured and insulted them.