[ SECRET POST #5835 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5835 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #835.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

As someone who has more than one of those conditions, I'm sick and tired of the trend of people trying to infantilize themselves because how can anyone POSSIBLY expect them to do adult things that literally every adult needs to do??

I don't give a shit if you have ADHD. So do I. Part of being an adult with ADHD is that you figure out what you specifically need to do so that the things that need to get done get done.

[(Anonymous)]

+1000

I'm on the autistic spectrum and a big part of dealing with my issue is figuring out ways that I can work around it.

[(Anonymous)]

Cosigned as an autistic woman who has been gainfully employed on a full time basis for the last 7.5 years and has had other long running jobs since her 20s.

[(Anonymous)]

Feel like this is a context collapse thing, where there are multiple legitimate reactions in different contexts but on the Internet they all get merged into each other in ways that are uncomfortable and frustrating.

There's nothing wrong - IMO - with someone who is just coming to terms with the fact that their life is harder than other peoples' lives because their brain works in certain ways that other peoples' don't. That's a shitty reality of life. And when it's something you've been dealing with all your life, and you've just thought it was either normal or even worse that you were just worse at stuff than other people, it's OK to have an emotional reaction and deal with that.

Equally, at a certain point, people do have to pick themselves up and figure out how to deal with life anyway. And there are absolutely people who self-infantilize and use ADHD or whatever else as an excuse to simply not do things that they need to be able to do. And that is frustrating and shitty.

Ideally, both of those experiences should be able to exist at the same time. In practice, unfortunately, that's not the case.

[(Anonymous)]

+1,000

[(Anonymous)]

Bad take, tbh.

I used to see those tiktoks a lot too, and not once did I see any one complain about not being able to live their lives and get things done that need to be done. In fact, most of them seem to be fairly well-off from what I can tell: Their own apartments/homes, cars, jobs, and at least a few friends who kind of "get it."

The fact that you're being high and mighty about being able to gut it out and get things done that you think should be done tells me you probably aren't that neurodivergent. Or maybe you never have many serious obstacles/people in your life to begin with.

Because I could probably do better in life too if people in my life understood anything about my autism. They can't seem to grasp that it makes me want to vomit if I look someone in the eyes too long. Or why I dread being in crowds or meeting new people. Instead what I get all the time is people expecting be to be like them. To be okay with what they're okay with, and then call me lazy, or a liar, when I don't act the way a "normal" person does.

They don't get that I can't force myself to be like them without feeling like I'm hurting myself just trying.

Whatever. Fuck you just a little bit.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Ah yes the "just pretend to be neurotypical because that's how the world works" bootstraps.

Like, I get it. The world sucks. But it would be nice of like. The world was a bit more accommodating, too! To the point that it isn't, "Do your best to be neurotypical" when they mean "treatment."

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, but the world is not going to be accommodating when you constantly show up 30 minutes or more late to things. Having dealt with people like that before, it's exhausting, and it's even more exhausting when they expect you to just be okay with it because they have ADHD.

[(Anonymous)]

Trust me, no one needs to be told the world won't be accommodating. It's really fucking obvious at this point.

But thanks for the brilliant words of wisdom.

[(Anonymous)]

Except that level of extreme isn’t what they meant, and it’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

[(Anonymous)]

I think the people above you who are being hard on you have good points, but the mentality you seem to be suffering from the most, from my perspective, is "I'm suffering so I want other people to suffer too." You can function, but to do so is exhausting, it's draining, it's painful. Some people would rather not make themselves suffer as much as you do, so they end up being less functional than you in the eyes of society, and that upsets you. But what upsets you isn't that they can't function, it's that you want them to try as hard as you so you can have company in your misery.

I know I sound patronizing, but I think it's something I need to hear myself, so maybe you need to hear it too.

[(Anonymous)]

All of this!

[(Anonymous)]

Part of being an adult with ADHD is that you figure out what you specifically need to do so that the things that need to get done get done.

I mean, sure, but this is not something I was remotely capable of before getting medicated. There was zero correlation between effort spent and results achieved. 95% of my effort was spent spinning my wheels and there was nothing I could do about that, it was just the reality of how my brain worked.

Once I got medicated, I started to understand what it actually meant to knuckle down and get things done. What's funny is, "knuckling down" became easier than just existing had been, pre-medication.

There's also a big difference between areas where a lack of executive function affects mostly oneself and areas where it affects others. Most of the "society should be more accommodating of neurodivergence" content I've seen online is focused on the former areas of executive disfunction, not the latter areas.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Co-signed!