case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2023-03-11 02:20 pm

[ SECRET POST #5909 ]


⌈ Secret Post #5909 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Hi-Fi Rush]



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[Everything, Everywhere, All at Once]



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[Twistcmyk]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 63 secrets from Secret Submission Post #846.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2023-03-11 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I understand both sides of this, but either way your friend was being kind of judgmental and I get why it stung/annoyed you.

I admit this is a lesson I need to learn myself. I have a real-life friend who isn't in fandom at all, but she is really into fiction and she does ship parings in a "normie" way (said affectionately). And a few months ago we were talking about Loki S1, and I was running my mouth about how forced and shoehorned in Loki/Sophie was, and how annoyed I was that the writers had yet again defaulted to a clunky and badly established het ship. And I pissed her off a bit, because I guess she kind of shipped them.

I never would've been running my mouth so freely and vociferously if my friend were in fandom, or if I'd been aware that she actually shipped them. But I also didn't think to ask her if she shipped them before I started going off about it.

So I kind of relate myself to your friend on this one, and yeah, they should learn to be more considerate of your feelings and less judgmental about your interests.

The truth is that I think our ship is always the most interesting and engaging to us, regardless of whether it's healthy or toxic, canon or non-canon, het or slash, "problematic" or totally unproblematic, villains or heroes or mix-n-match. Our ship is the one that's captivated our heart and mind; it's the one we spend our time and mental energy exploring the ins and outs of, far more than we do for the pairings we don't ship. So of course our ship is more interesting and complex to us than our non-ships are.

The trick is remembering that other people feel the same way about their ship, even when, to us, their ship has all the appeal of a loaf of wonder-bread or a bowl of rotten fruit.

(Anonymous) 2023-03-11 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Dead-on.

One of the things I really resent about this proselytizing impulse in shipping is that it's killed the fun of listening to people talk about stuff that I don't ship. I used to browse all the ship manifestos I could find in my fandoms, and more informal talk on the same subject, because it all made canon richer and more fun for me. Even that character that I couldn't stand and thought was 100% obnoxious looked completely different through the eyes of someone who shipped them with all their heart, and I loved it. I found pairings I would never have thought of, I read stories that made me laugh or be impressed with the quality of the writing or ship one specific fan author's version of two characters really hard, and I just felt more connected to people in fandom that otherwise didn't overlap with me in any way, because I could listen and get good stuff out of what they felt.

But, the more people talking about what they ship has devolved into them talking about why this is a sign of good taste or superior morality, or asserting this ship is "the best" ... the more I found myself back-buttoning out in two seconds, flat. I really think fans make complete asses of themselves when they bullshit about any of that, and expect the rest of us to take their claims seriously.

OP

(Anonymous) 2023-03-11 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry if it came across as trying to say my ship was definitively "the best" because I definitely don't think that. They make more sense to me and listing the reasons in the secret was I guess partially trying to explain to myself why I prefer them, because I've never said those things out loud before.

I have no problem with my friend (or anyone else for that matter) shipping another pairing than me, I just wish she wouldn't make fun of me for it.

(Anonymous) 2023-03-12 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
Naryt

Wow, you reminded me of ship_manifesto and I realized that I miss it a lot.