[ SECRET POST #5961 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #5961 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #852.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: How do you not care what anyone thinks of you?

[(Anonymous)]

... Well, as a fellow unmarried 30-something woman without kids, who's never had a steady partner, never planned to marry or have kids, actually has reproductive health issues that would hinder it even if I wanted to (on top of mental ones) and moved from her parent's house to a small apartment (not complaining though!) and lost her last job due to overall health issues that no doctor could help with no matter how much money spent and is now a volunteer, with 1 "friend?" and a parent who may be even messier ...

I don't care because I have accepted that I am a total weirdo/outcast I guess. I just... embraced the pain. I think I find comfort in the fact that I am hardly the first and last "crazy cat lady/wacko hermit" in the History of this pathetic world. Being a failure for not trying is less painful than trying and being a failure, so I chose the easy route. If anyone tries to approach, they face empty bitterness, which society seems to accept better than facing a goody-goody who is trying her best and failing apparently lol. When I think something like "my brother is doing well! He is my parents' pride :(" I quickly think "but my parents won't be around forever anyway so I should focus on staying afloat" . It's bitter but realistic. But maybe the "I will find happiness on the ground" approach only works if you are on the ground to begin with.

Thankfully prolonged solitude has allowed me to find passions for things again, which I lost while I was burntout. If I told you I believe "it's a bad moment not a bad life" I would lie (I see the signs, lol) but can't complain about a lack of passion and am sure you will recover yours too, OP. The will to learn something new and from there you find new people etc.

But comparing is good, I think. I guess the times in my life when I did something, I actually cared enough to compare myself and feel ashamed and go after something. The bottomless depression isn't really viable unless you were born rich or something.