[ SECRET POST #6042 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6042 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #864.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Different things affect different people in different ways.

Different things cause different kinds of anxiety in different people for different reasons.

Different people struggle with different tasks on different levels for different reasons.

Just because someone experiences anxiety at the idea of leaving a comment on a fic doesn't mean they experience anxiety at every IRL challenge that presents itself, and unless they say this is the case, there is no reason whatsoever to assume it does.

"Leaving comments on fic makes me anxious" doesn't mean "I am so riddled with anxiety I experience debilitating panic attacks every time I have to make a decision or step outside my front door". It means "leaving comments on fic makes me anxious".

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[pantswarrior]

Yyyyyep. This is me and my sensory issues, not anxiety, but it doesn't surprise me it might work the same way.

Also, "anonymous comment to faceless person on the internet" is completely OPTIONAL. If someone has really bad social anxiety in general, which they have to quash/deal with all day for jobs and whatnot where they HAVE to talk to people (and for a specific purpose - after awhile being at a job, you get to know what most conversations are going to be like while doing that job), they may get home and dread the thought of having to face that anxiety again, especially when they don't know what sort of reaction they might get, or if they'll get one at all, or how they should respond to it if they do. "Talking to people for work because you have to" is completely different than "talking to people about hobbies even though you don't have to".

(I don't have social anxiety, but I'm an extreme introvert, and that's basically how it works with me. If I have to socialize during work, which is draining and awkward even when I generally like the people involved, I just want to be by myself after.)

[(Anonymous)]

I have historically cared very little about the feelings of the general public towards me at my jobs. I gave great customer service, within the bounds of possibility and company policy! But at the end of the day I was going to see most of those people for five minutes sometime next week, and if they were genuinely nasty to me I could request manager intervention.

I actually care about how people think about me in fandom. I live here.

[pantswarrior]

EXACTLY.

The people I interact with at work, I interact with because I have to, and we're all sort of aware of that.

The people I interact with outside of work, that's a choice I'm making - and if I care enough to make that choice, I don't want to mess it up. I can see that being far more anxiety-inducing.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

These are excellent points. And I love the thought that people can care more about their reputation in fandom than they do at their workplace. So anathema to capitalism, to reject its claim on your best face and your best anything else, but at the same time ... so "of course." At a job, you're replaceable. Here? There's no one else's agenda to represent or hide behind. You bring nothing but yourself.

I was debating whether or not to read the comments for this secret, because it seemed like a stupid rehash of the ongoing whine about lack of praise-comments. But I'm glad I did, because of you and anon.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

[pantswarrior]

<3 Thank you. =)

That's a really good point about the capitalism aspect. To be perfectly honest at my first customer service job, since my inclination is to not talk to anyone who doesn't talk to me first, I spent the first month or so more or less just LARPing one of my characters who is an extrovert (without costumes of course). The desire to help people if they need it was genuine, but the presentation was entirely playing a role. Even my parents, when someone asked them what I did "these days", would talk about my cosplay and my art rather than the job that paid me.

[(Anonymous)]

This is well said!

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Well said.

And OP, anon or not doesn't matter sometimes. I know I said/typed it and that's all that matters. My anxiety isn't based on other people remembering it, it's based on my own overblown judgement of my own actions.

[(Anonymous)]

Thiiiiiisss. Like, I have terrible phone anxiety, but I have zero problems talking to people face-to-face and in fact my entire job involves me dealing with people eight hours a day.

I just get anxious about phone conversations because I can't see the other person's face to be able to read their expression and so it's a guessing game as to what they're feeling or thinking while I'm talking to them. That's not a problem when I'm talking to someone who is right in front of me.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Yeah, I do better talking to people on the phone at work than in other settings, too. In my case, it's mainly because I have a specific reason to talk to someone on the phone at work, I know the call's only going to last a certain amount of time, so there's little room for long pauses and awkwardness or whatever.

Whereas if I'm talking to friends on the phone, I'm a very quiet person offline, so they usually wind up doing much of the talking while I sit there silently much of the time, and then there's long, awkward pauses as I try to figure out how to fill the gaps in conversation. Plus, if I'm talking to friends, I mean, I'll be seeing them at some point in person or did see them, so I figure whatever we need(ed) to say we can or did say in person.

That, and after talking to people on the phone at work ,when I get home, I don't want to talk on the phone anymore for any reason, you know :p? I'm tired of it.