[ SECRET POST #6042 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6042 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #864.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm going to copy paste my comment to a similar post, since I feel like it's 100% in topic here

For context, the secret was https://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/2841866.html?thread=1107745802#cmt1107745802

And I was replying to https://fandomsecrets.dreamwidth.org/2841866.html?thread=1107803146#cmt1107803146

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Not going to invalidate your diagnosis because 1) I don't care and it's not useful to the conversation 2) I'm not your doctor 3) I don't know you, but you know that there are different people out there that can have the same diagnosis as you and completely different triggers, right?

I suffer from anxiety disorder and OCD and back when I tried to comment on fics/fanarts to express my gratitude I spent a minimum of 30 minutes to even write three sentences and then continue to refresh the page to see if the author was responding to me. While imagining all the scenarios where I gravely offended the author and any other person who came across to my comment.

I gave up on commenting years ago because it isn't sustainable to me. I wish I could not care about other people's reaction to my comments online, but I CAN'T. I care about the authors' feelings too much and I guilt trip myself into thinking I've offended them while I'm saying a simple "thank you". I know it's messed up.
F!S is one of the only online spaces I can write on because I'm anon and generally nobody cares that much about what I'm writing, I think.

Meanwhile, IRL I have way less anxiety speaking to strangers (even less than you possibly) because I can see the reactions other people have to what I'm saying right in front of me, thus adjusting my speaking manner and trying to explain myself better. We are all different.
Even if YOU CAN comment to fics with no problem, it doesn't mean that other people can, too.

It should be too hard to understand this and every time we have these types of conversation here on F!S I grow more tired and tired...

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/copypaste

BTW I want to thank everyone on this thread who is showing me that my feelings are valid. Thank you. You're awesome.

[(Anonymous)]

"because I can see the reactions other people have to what I'm saying right in front of me, thus adjusting my speaking manner and trying to explain myself better."

This is KEY. I actually love talking to strangers and meeting people. Slight anxiety, but manageable because I can read facial expressions, body language, and tone and adjust accordingly. Throwing a text based toneless comment into the void and hoping it comes across as I mean it and doesn't offend of upset anyone, anxiety inducing to the point I don't bother most of the time.

[(Anonymous)]

+1 That's also part of why it's easier at work, if I fick up bad at work someone will TELL ME. I could leave awful comments for users and I'd never know.