[ SECRET POST #6042 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6042 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 42 secrets from Secret Submission Post #864.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think there's an encouraging bit to this secret: So what if the author doesn't like that specific comment? It doesn't reflect back on you in the slightest.

I'm sure some of the anxiety comes from the commenter thinking they did something wrong. And it's true that some phrasing can be seen as callous, sarcastic, hollow, etc., And you don't want to come off the wrong way. But at a certain point, it's not your decision how the author reacts. You need to move on.

I do think people have had bad experiences with leaving comments in the past. Or they've seen someone else's experience, and don't want to end up in the same situation. Even small interactions get built into your psyche. Over time, it adds up. I don't really think a social impact is less than an academic/professional one, like the secret implies.

Basically, I think people should be kinder to themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

Basically, I think people should be kinder to themselves.

I admit I physically recoil at this phrasing, mostly because I have never really liked the word "kind". I have seen it used in a passive aggressive/hive mind enforcing way too often. When I do see some advice that used the word "kind" I want to do the opposite (and usually do).

If someone told me to cut myself more slack, on the other hand, I might be more amenable. Key word is might. I still probably won't do it because I feel like I'm the only one that can hold myself accountable in any capacity. That includes being strict in my conduct and thought processes.