fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6070 ]

[ SECRET POST #6070 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6070 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Baldur's Gate 3]

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[Date a Live]

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Did the diagnoses do anything to improve your life?

I am certain I have adhd or autism. A lot of their symptoms overlap.

I have done self assessments that say I likely do. It runs in my family. A coworker with adhd said she thinks I have it.

But...I don't really know if there is any point to go thru the effort of being diagnosed. What would that change about life other than knowing I do?

I've done the self assessments and it's in my family, too. I've been thinking about getting diagnosed. My goal is to see if the ADHD/ADD meds would be more helpful than the anxiety meds I'm on. They help with the main stuff, but my executive function is so low it's limbo dancing in hell. My hesitation is that it's super hard for an adult woman to be taken seriously for this, and that's added a layer to the barriers when I already have can't-get-stuff-done disorder.

Self assessments don't count. You can self assess as anything if the suspicion is planted in your mind.

Thank you for saying this. I have vented about this in counseling, and my counselor agrees that self assessment/diagnoses don't consider nearly enough factors in a person's life to actually be accurate. The self assessment bit strangely makes it difficult for me to even be in autistic spaces since I got a professional diagnosis at a young age, which for my peer group is rare enough to not be believed by many.

Especially since, what was it, ten years ago that "self diagnosed" was just code for "I am going to be a giant asshole to everybody and have no willingness to even try to change that", which forever poisoned the term and just made it harder for actual diagnosed folk.

Thanks for the classism.

DA

I admit I've found the classism argument for self diagnosis kind of strange given that my parents struggled to stay in the middle class when I was born, but I still got a diagnosis. (Admittedly, my parents were actually trying to keep me out of special ed because they didn't think I needed it, but the diagnosis effectively put an end to their fight.)

I'm from the south. Not only were we poor, but it was obviously the devil. :(

Now that I'm an adult, I still don't have any money, no one who does payment plans is taking new patients, and I still have the uphill battle to be taken seriously because I'm a woman. See other below-anon's experience trying to be diagnosed as an adult woman. It's a whole hodgepodge of privilege that we don't have, but it's a non starter since I still don't have any goddamned money. So, yes, I'm going to self diagnose.

I find people trying to argue against self diagnosis weird. Like, what benefit do you think we're trying to scam?? Oh, yes, I'm in the scientifically confirmed weirdo group, don't you want to hang out with me now?? I can tell you everything you want to know about ancient roman legal codes! I'm great at parties. *eyeroll*

My husband got a diagnosis as an adult. It helped him better understand how trauma affects me (a woman who actually got a diagnosis as a child). I think it's also helped him understand what he needs to do to learn new skills. I taught him a bit about cooking, as he hadn't really done any meal prep prior to the pandemic. Knowing he's autistic helped him identify what made him nervous about learning how to cook. That in turn allowed him to find steps to make it easier for him to deal with those nerves while learning. He now knows how to make several meals and cooks once a week.

I'm borderline, and it helped me to understand why I am the way I am, and have always been. It's not my fault an never was.

I only know it isn't my fault since I was diagnosed but I'm still incapable of holding down a job.

It was worth it for me because it turns out I’m not autistic and don’t have ADHD. And we never would have guessed that if I hadn’t been evaluated. All of the signs pointing to those for me are also caused by untreated early trauma. The evaluation process also led me to a therapist who is a great fit for me. I’ll probably always experience bouts of executive disfunction but it doesn’t have to be my default state.

Yeah, this was the case for my friend too. He spent years thinking he had ADHD when it turns out that he doesn't and that it's most likely just the result of an emotionally abusive/controlling childhood. He's getting therapy to address all of that untreated stuff now and doing so much better.

adhd: the benefit of being diagnosed is resources and accommodations.

resources: medication, access to targeted therapy. being medicated has had an immediate and positive effect for me. if you take the read all the online sources/books/advice and make changes to see if adhd tactics work for you and they don't or they do but not for a lot of executive function things (starting tasks, continuing tasks, completing tasks), then medication might be useful. also sometimes it's useful because you can see what other issues the adhd might be covering (anxiety depression etc). (caveat: getting the right one at the right dosage might be a journey).

it's weird and kinda sad to get on medication and see how much more you could have done if you'd had it younger like, yes you've done well but to see how much of that didn't have be the same struggle. a little depressing.

targeted therapy. there are some tools and tactics for adhd that are specifically something someone accredited would not only know, but be able to guide you through in a more effective way than being able to do it yourself.

accommodations: let's say you work at a place where you're very distracted, but another area of the office is less distracting. sometimes being able to move requires that you have an documented medical reason to do so. and if you're diagnosed then you have it. maybe you need a more flexible schedule or more written instructions, or even more breaks? maybe you want to be allowed to wear earphones at a place that doesn't typically allow that. then you can be accommodated. (caveat that even in places with robust disability laws some bosses and coworkers will hold it against you).

if none of these things are useful to you, then a formal diagnosis probably isn't necessary. and occasionally being diagnosis and treated will mean that you regress a little because you would be actively engaged in stopping the bad coping mechanism and building up new ones.

'it's weird and kinda sad to get on medication and see how much more you could have done if you'd had it younger like, yes you've done well but to see how much of that didn't have be the same struggle. a little depressing.'

This actually makes me want to never get diagnosed. I don't think I want that insight.

look, if you're doing great and you feel like the techniques you can use without doctors or meds work...honestly, I don't blame you.

that said, since ADHD is an emotional dysregulation issue too, having better relationships might make it worth it anyway!!

I am sure that I am since I remember as a kid, when my brother was getting diagnosed with autism and my mum pointed out symptoms in me; the doctor insisted that girls couldn't have autism because its a 'boys' condition.
So I was just labelled as a difficult bad kid who cried too much and was too gullible.

I've tried a few times to get a diagnosis but kept getting turned down at the because apparently doctors definitely would have diagnosed me as a kid if I had it for realsies, and that doctors never called it a boys condition blah blah.
So I've given up. Mostly because I realized that getting diagnosed might make it harder to get custody to care for my brother in the future, so I'm putting him first because I've delt with it this far - so I just have to put up with the same shit as I've always had to do.

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[ SECRET POST #6070 ]

Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

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Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult

Re: Adults diagnosed with adhd or autism as an adult