[ SECRET POST #6078 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6078 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #869.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I do think more adults should start picking their battles. It is sadly common for young fans to engage in truly dangerous bullying in fandom (and this has been debated above, but it is much worse than before, in the sense that it's considered normal and good, when before it was shot down by the majority of fandom. These days it's not uncommon for bullies to be the majority.) and those fans deserve a strongly-worded lecture and a report to the platform they're using for any terms violations.

But adults coming into places where kids are just being dumb and talking down to the kids about how dumb they are is sadly common too, and that's a case where we just need to be the bigger person. Even if the kids are talking shit about fandom olds being gross or shippers of a certain ship normalizing whatever immoral thing the kids think the ship promotes. That's all really annoying, but as long as all they're doing is talking amongst themselves and there's no sign that they're bullying fandom olds or xyz shippers, they should just be blocked and left alone.

[(Anonymous)]

Even if the kids are talking shit about fandom olds being gross or shippers of a certain ship normalizing whatever immoral thing the kids think the ship promotes. That's all really annoying, but as long as all they're doing is talking amongst themselves and there's no sign that they're bullying fandom olds or xyz shippers, they should just be blocked and left alone.

I disagree completely. Twitter and Tumblr and the like are public, all-ages spaces, and ageism should be called out and strongly frowned on just like any other -ism. Saying things that like in a place where everyone can see it and getting no visible resistance is a form of bullying that makes some fans feel unwelcome. And suggesting that older people are "gross" and probably sexually creepy feeds DIRECTLY into the exact kind of "groomer" panic that's fueling the fascist rush to take queer books out of school libraries. If you let that kind of thinking spread unquestioned, that's where it leads.

Of course teens think older people are cringe, tale as old as time, but that needs to be kept in teen-only private Discords and the like.

"Be the bigger person" is just another version of "ignore the bullies" and we know that's very bad advice.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're so fragile that you're affected by kids thinking you're cringe then that's a you problem tbh. Adults older than us dealt just fine with my generation thinking they were all 'uncool' or 'lame', because it's ultimately really not an issue and something that's easily ignorable.

Kids thinking adults existing online is groomer shit and accusing adults of being such for that reason need to be pushed back against because that's serious. But kids being dumb and thinking us 30+ year olds are just kinda cringe? Not an issue, they can do that in their social groups and I do not care. Conflating the two is completely intellectually disngenous.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Teens need to learn how to act in all-ages spaces. Soon they'll be in college with non-traditional students in their 20s, 30s, 40s, etc, soon they'll be working jobs with adults of all age groups. It's an essential part of their education to learn to keep those opinions away from others who are affected by them. Fandom is as good a training ground as any.

But I actually did make a sharp distinction between "uncool" or "lame" and what is actually a huge problem in fandom, which is the accusation of some kind of sexual predation just by existing. I write a lot of adult-rated fic about adult characters for an adult audience, and being falsely accused of wanting to commit crimes against minors is actually a huge fucking problem in fandom.

A big part of this is the way teenagers naturally think of older adults as kind of gross, is the way that adults expressing adult sexuality makes them feel icky. Related to the way seeing some young pretty person in lingerie on TikTok is fine but seeing a visibly middle-aged one in the same outfit is cringe, but they take it to an extreme because they haven't yet been taught that their disgust is not a moral issue. This is completely a them problem and not something adults should have to care about. You feel icky seeing adult fanart by adults for adults? Tough. Go away, then. Adult content creators shouldn't have to worry about this leading to getting doxxed and swatted, but alas, that's where we are.

I don't care about teenagers' opinions, but when they take those opinions to actions - and yes, targeted harassment is an action - that turns it into a crime with victims and that should never be ignored or dismissed.

Subthread OP

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I think kids who think adults in fandom are groomers should also be left alone, again, as long as they're not bullying adults about it. Being the one to initiate a debate with someone who says people like you are groomers is a bad look, no matter how in the wrong the other person is. And however wrong they may be, if they sincerely believe you're a groomer then it's a super bad look, it's certainly not going to change their mind, and could even be a violation of a boundary they've set. Kids are allowed to be uncomfortable interacting with adults in fandom and that should be respected no matter how wrong a place their discomfort comes from or how obnoxious they are with their friends about it.

Of course, some kids don't actually think we're groomers and just say that because it sounds more weighty and legitimate than "cringe." But you don't really know which is which. Unless the kid comes into your space and harasses you first. Then all bets are off, and IMO those kids should have their bluff called by being asked why they're picking a fight with someone they think is a danger to them.