[ SECRET POST #6078 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6078 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #869.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://i.imgur.com/zsxMMQl.png

[(Anonymous)]

i prefer having a circle of fandom friends my own age, but i get the sentiment

most young people think the world revolves around them and their very important opinions, but that's typical and expected

but life has a way of impressing self awareness on people over time whether they like it or not. to end up 40+ and still be that self-important as a grown ass adult having serious hours long 'i judge you/you judged me' fights on the internet, especially about something completely trivial like 'you insulted my preferences' or something, you have to be the type that actively resists self reflection or deeply insecure. and there are way too many of that type of person

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty sure you're the kind of sanctimonious fan OP is talking about.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Nah. You, on the other hand, are coming across as one of the self-important young people. Hopefully you will grow out of it eventually.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

sure, it doesn't really bother me if you think that.

[(Anonymous)]

That makes OP sanctimonious, themselves.

[(Anonymous)]

As you said, this is often the case in longer running fandoms. I guess it has two main reasons - one is the old fans who genuinely are grumpy and elitist about younger fans coming in and doing things differently but the other is younger fans coming in and demanding that this fandom has to cater to them now and what the older fans have been doing for decades is wrong, actually and people don't react kindly to that.

Newer fandoms though? It's primarily the younger fans who tend to get out their pitchforks the second any evil old person (20+) does something they don't like and then whine and cry when they get consquences and try to get out of any responsibility with the "but I'm a MINOR" card. And I can't be fucking bothered with that bullshit.

[(Anonymous)]

Both are annoying, but I think there's a fundamental difference in children acting like children (and teenagers who think 20+ is old definitely count as children) and adults acting like children, and what it says about the people acting that way.

[(Anonymous)]

Not when the children acting like children is more like children acting like fucking psychos who pretend they don't know bullying is bad and rape/death threats, suicide baiting and other borderline criminal behaviour is not the "teehee I'm just a kid I don't know better uwu" thing they think it is.

[(Anonymous)]

...not trying to be sarcastic here, but has that not been children forever? Bullying wasn't invented in the 00s. It just moved online. Kids were just as vicious in the 80s.

[(Anonymous)]

+1. I have nothing against decent people old or young. I find very few decent people in either age range.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not going to interrogate every asshole on the internet to see if they're young enough that their behaviour can be excused by their age. I don't give a shit if you're 14 or 44, and I'm sure as hell not going to waste my time looking it up.

Asshole behaviour is asshole behaviour. You're either old enough to know better, or young enough you shouldn't be there without adult supervision in the first place. Either way, same result.

[(Anonymous)]

+1000

[(Anonymous)]

+ infinity

I don't give a fuck what your excuse for that behavior is. I only care that you stop.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, neither am I. No one is insisting that you look them up and treat them differently if they act like an asshole to you, which is what you seem to have inferred on your own.

But if you disagree there's a difference at all between being a child and being a childish adult and what that says about someone, I dunno what to say. Especially as you even acknowledge in your reply that "being old enough to know better" (your own responsibility) and "shouldn't be there without adult supervision" (mixed responsibility with someone else) are different things. So we aren't disagreeing, even? A confusing reply.

[(Anonymous)]

So much this! I've been in long-running fandoms and it can go either way. With new fandoms, it's often the younger fans who throw fits about anything they don't like, but I've also seen plenty of instances where manipulative older fans would use the younger fans to attack other fans who did things the older fans didn't like. (Pacific Rim fandom, I'm looking at you.)

[(Anonymous)]

SA Either way, it seems like there's always some tribe of assholes who think they own the fandom. Or worse, you get competing tribes of assholes.

[(Anonymous)]

Interesting. Maybe I don't interact with enough folks my own age as that hasn't been my experience. But the ones I do see (Gen X/Xennials/Milennials... my age group, hah) seem most aligned with Gen Z and younger as far as behavior and etiquette go. I hope it means things are changing for the better and folks are staying openminded.

[(Anonymous)]

I think one's experience is going to depend heavily on *where* one is active in fandom.

If your decades of experience have been limited to DW or other older-skewing platforms, then I'm inclined to agree that the older groups are far more obnoxiously set in their ways. But I've also seen the immensely young-skewing corners of fandom that congregate on Twitter and Tumblr and the like, and the presumption that those spaces belong to them and that older fans are "creepy" for simply existing there is... a different kind of awful.

Different platforms house different experiences, and from my experience that is very, very heavily tied to which age group is most prominent there.

[(Anonymous)]

Both are bad imo.

Little bullying kids are annoying and need to learn that their actions have consequences, but they can at least hopefully do that, grow up and get over themselves. Adult bullies can be an entirealy different nightmare because they will be so stuck in their ways and will refuse to change or grow. I've had run ins with both and I can't say I find one better to deal with over the other, they're awful in their own ways.

[(Anonymous)]

I do think more adults should start picking their battles. It is sadly common for young fans to engage in truly dangerous bullying in fandom (and this has been debated above, but it is much worse than before, in the sense that it's considered normal and good, when before it was shot down by the majority of fandom. These days it's not uncommon for bullies to be the majority.) and those fans deserve a strongly-worded lecture and a report to the platform they're using for any terms violations.

But adults coming into places where kids are just being dumb and talking down to the kids about how dumb they are is sadly common too, and that's a case where we just need to be the bigger person. Even if the kids are talking shit about fandom olds being gross or shippers of a certain ship normalizing whatever immoral thing the kids think the ship promotes. That's all really annoying, but as long as all they're doing is talking amongst themselves and there's no sign that they're bullying fandom olds or xyz shippers, they should just be blocked and left alone.

[(Anonymous)]

Even if the kids are talking shit about fandom olds being gross or shippers of a certain ship normalizing whatever immoral thing the kids think the ship promotes. That's all really annoying, but as long as all they're doing is talking amongst themselves and there's no sign that they're bullying fandom olds or xyz shippers, they should just be blocked and left alone.

I disagree completely. Twitter and Tumblr and the like are public, all-ages spaces, and ageism should be called out and strongly frowned on just like any other -ism. Saying things that like in a place where everyone can see it and getting no visible resistance is a form of bullying that makes some fans feel unwelcome. And suggesting that older people are "gross" and probably sexually creepy feeds DIRECTLY into the exact kind of "groomer" panic that's fueling the fascist rush to take queer books out of school libraries. If you let that kind of thinking spread unquestioned, that's where it leads.

Of course teens think older people are cringe, tale as old as time, but that needs to be kept in teen-only private Discords and the like.

"Be the bigger person" is just another version of "ignore the bullies" and we know that's very bad advice.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're so fragile that you're affected by kids thinking you're cringe then that's a you problem tbh. Adults older than us dealt just fine with my generation thinking they were all 'uncool' or 'lame', because it's ultimately really not an issue and something that's easily ignorable.

Kids thinking adults existing online is groomer shit and accusing adults of being such for that reason need to be pushed back against because that's serious. But kids being dumb and thinking us 30+ year olds are just kinda cringe? Not an issue, they can do that in their social groups and I do not care. Conflating the two is completely intellectually disngenous.

[(Anonymous)]

Man... I dunno, the new wave of young puritans is really something. Not saying older fans can't be dicks sometimes, just... I don't think it's a question of younger fans being *better*. I think new fans will bring new energy to a long-running fandom! But I don't think any generation of fans is inherently better, I just think different generations of fans have different potential issues that not all fans in that generation share.

[(Anonymous)]

Been in fandom spaces since the 2000s and boy it has changed over the years. Never really cared as much about what other people thought until Tumblr came along.
Even though I still go on there for fandom stuff, if it wasn't for side-blogs then I would have nothing to do with fandom, especially from the younger side since I've seen when certain fandom's start accusing adults of being creeps just because of age and deciding which other fandom's they've been in = morally evil.

With side-blogs of specific fandom's for fan works, then I can just interact within the boundary of that fandom alone and whenever someone tries to ask anything more personally I just point out that I only talk about that specific topic. This has worked out fine especially for younger side of the fandom wanting to find fan works that I posted or reblogged so they can do that and I don't have to worry (since most the stuff I post is fairly pg and usually pretty vanilla with shipping).