[ SECRET POST #6099 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6099 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #872.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What are your controversial non-fandom opinions?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT - Yes, I... value people's words, generally. I'm in the same fandoms as those kids, they ratio me for having an opinion. How to avoid that? Of course I avoid the subject entirely but they'll still assume I'm a "transphobe" because of that. So I've come to accept that I'm a "transphobe" in today's kids' eyes. Which is hilarious, because... yeah. Why should I have anything against trans people at all? Sigh.

Yeah, make more adults join my fandoms and then I'll talk to more adults lol. I'm just barely in the 30 age range, so I'm really speaking from a place where older people can be too clueless and young people can think too differently. Maybe you didn't get the part where I said I live in a sexist place so I can't expect to have these kinds of conversations with people my age IRL. Those people virtually don't exist and when they do we don't really talk for other reasons (like my ex-friends and I just don't talk to many people my age in general, it's often younger or older).

I'm not sure I would call trying to understand others to a normal degree a "mistake". Of course there are things we don't understand about ourselves even. But when it's something you expect others to be on board with you (say: kids who expect me to join their discourse) there has to be a certain degree of mutual understanding. Which I just fail to have in this case, and here I am venting and trying to explain why and trying to understand where others come from at least, if it's an age thing, an experience thing, or something else. If it's just a way for kids to bond, whatever, "do your thing" but again I think it's too serious a topic to be treated lightly. Because some people die or suffer or are bullied or harm their bodies because of it.

It's what I do actually. It's 100% what I do, because (again) I feel like it's a bit of a redundant topic and one I don't feel like partaking in. This is why I am sharing this here, anonymously, because I can't share it in my fandoms which are full of kids who id as trans (because that's what you get when you like anime with genderless characters and I suppose that is on me but sigh)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts though, because I really appreciate them. Maybe I really am "overvaluing" those kids' words and slang because again I think it's a serious topic, but they... don't, so it worries me quite a bit.

Re: What are your controversial non-fandom opinions?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I'm sorry if I was dismissive of your feelings. I generally think that sometimes maintaining distance from certain topics is the best way to save my sanity. And that's why I told you to "just ignore the kids", basically. That was insensitive and I apologize.

I do get you on living in a sexist/transphobic/homophobic place.
I do, too, which is why it's more valuable for me reaching out to people in the LGBTQ+ community that live near me (hours by train, but still near) and know more or less where I come from than trying to reach out to kids or teens that live in the other part of the world (people in western fandoms are usually north american or follow USA cultural standards. i can't really relate to them and their problems).
I have no idea where you live so I'm sorry for assuming you had people to talk to IRL.

>>I'm not sure I would call trying to understand others to a normal degree a "mistake".

I get you, but I do still think it's a mistake. It's almost always a waste of time, especially in relationships that are not very close to you.
I personally try to understand people who are the closest to me, but at a certain point I leave it at that. I just accept the fact that I can't get people 100%, even people incredibly close to me. Friendly confrontation and acceptance is very important. Understanding? Not so much IMHO.

>>If it's just a way for kids to bond, whatever, "do your thing" but again I think it's too serious a topic to be treated lightly. Because some people die or suffer or are bullied or harm their bodies because of it.

BTW this is why I tell you to just "leave the kids alone". They are well meaning and beautiful souls, I'm sure, but I think some people just don't get the gravity of that stuff (not only kids, adults, too). And I think that's OK. It's an age and cultural thing I think. I don't relate to that and I can't understand that, but that's OK. That is THEIR thing.

I kind of remember all the bullshit I thought I knew when I was in middle school and I cringe. I'm so grateful that there was almost no internet back then and I didn't mingle with adults on fandom spaces and if I did, I pretended to be an adult and mind my business most of the time. Probably if I were a 15-18 years old now in 2023 my entire view of gender identity and LGBTQ+ issue would be ENTIRELY different than mine now. It wouldn't be as complicated as they are now, maybe.

(for context: I identify as a butch lesbian, use mainly masc pronouns with friends and family, fem pronouns with people that don't know me well. for some people this is "regressive" or "not right" but that's how i feel safe and at home in my identity)