Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2023-09-17 02:59 pm
[ SECRET POST #6099 ]
⌈ Secret Post #6099 ⌋
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Re: What are your controversial non-fandom opinions?
(Anonymous) 2023-09-19 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)I'm sorry if I was dismissive of your feelings. I generally think that sometimes maintaining distance from certain topics is the best way to save my sanity. And that's why I told you to "just ignore the kids", basically. That was insensitive and I apologize.
I do get you on living in a sexist/transphobic/homophobic place.
I do, too, which is why it's more valuable for me reaching out to people in the LGBTQ+ community that live near me (hours by train, but still near) and know more or less where I come from than trying to reach out to kids or teens that live in the other part of the world (people in western fandoms are usually north american or follow USA cultural standards. i can't really relate to them and their problems).
I have no idea where you live so I'm sorry for assuming you had people to talk to IRL.
>>I'm not sure I would call trying to understand others to a normal degree a "mistake".
I get you, but I do still think it's a mistake. It's almost always a waste of time, especially in relationships that are not very close to you.
I personally try to understand people who are the closest to me, but at a certain point I leave it at that. I just accept the fact that I can't get people 100%, even people incredibly close to me. Friendly confrontation and acceptance is very important. Understanding? Not so much IMHO.
>>If it's just a way for kids to bond, whatever, "do your thing" but again I think it's too serious a topic to be treated lightly. Because some people die or suffer or are bullied or harm their bodies because of it.
BTW this is why I tell you to just "leave the kids alone". They are well meaning and beautiful souls, I'm sure, but I think some people just don't get the gravity of that stuff (not only kids, adults, too). And I think that's OK. It's an age and cultural thing I think. I don't relate to that and I can't understand that, but that's OK. That is THEIR thing.
I kind of remember all the bullshit I thought I knew when I was in middle school and I cringe. I'm so grateful that there was almost no internet back then and I didn't mingle with adults on fandom spaces and if I did, I pretended to be an adult and mind my business most of the time. Probably if I were a 15-18 years old now in 2023 my entire view of gender identity and LGBTQ+ issue would be ENTIRELY different than mine now. It wouldn't be as complicated as they are now, maybe.
(for context: I identify as a butch lesbian, use mainly masc pronouns with friends and family, fem pronouns with people that don't know me well. for some people this is "regressive" or "not right" but that's how i feel safe and at home in my identity)