[ SECRET POST #6104 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6104 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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03. [SPOILERS for Free Guy]




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04. [SPOILERS for the Barbie movie]




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05. [WARNING for discussion of antisemitism]




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06. [WARNING for possible discussion of underage ships/etc]



























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #872.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I hope you mean this about acquaintances and not friends...

I have a friend and we're absolutely not interested in each others very different fandoms right now, but I yammer at her about mine and she yammers at me about hers, and even though I have no interest I ask questions to see what she likes about it and to enjoy the fact that she enjoys it. I send her memes about her fandom that I run into. And she does the same for me. It's part of being a friend...

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Same. TBH I learned through 2 friendships from the same fandom what sort of friendship works better for me.

Friendship 1: after the first fandom died, we are able to talk to each other on things we enjoy together as well as on topics maybe only one of us is into
Friendship 2: after the first fandom died, we were only able to keep conversations going if we were actively into the same things so eventually our interactions stopped

I understand it's a lot easier to routinely engage with people who have similar interests, but it made me understand that if I can't keep up with someone else's interests and we talk a lot less because of it, it's not because I suck. It just means that not all people vibe the same.

My IRL best friend and I used to be into so many of the same things, we watch what the other person reccs but we also are honest when something doesn't interest us while also being actively supportive by engaging somewhat (I've never been into The Walking Dead but my best friend is still into it so I ask them for updates when I know a new season/show is on).

[(Anonymous)]

Idk part of being a friend is also knowing when your friend is totally not into, say, sports, and not talking to them about last night's game for an hour.

I don't do that to my friends because... why would I do that? Why does it need to be them I make listen to me about things I know they don't care to hear about?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

OK... Do you... do you only enjoy being around this person when they talk only about things you like and are interested in? Cause that's not a friendship. Holy shit.

[(Anonymous)]

I think there's a difference between "I only like someone at all if they're saying something interesting right! now!" and "I try to spare my D&D friends who totally aren't into sports and have repeatedly told me they aren't into sports, my rants on last nights football game, out of care and respect for their time"

It's almost like you can have multiple hobbies and interests and you can like people and they can like you even if you don't have to share all of them all the time... and that goes both ways?

If you think you're entitled to your friends time and listening ears about things they have repeatedly said they aren't into, you are a kind of a bad friend

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

If that's a hard limit for them, yeah, sure, but that's not what the secret is about. I said in my comment that my friend and I do this KNOWING THAT WE HAVE NO INTEREST in each other's topic. But we have interest in each other.

I also have absolutely no interest in sports, but if she were to come to me saying, "I know you have no interest but I HAVE to rant about this STUPID call in last nights game!" I would grab the popcorn because even though I don't know anything about the words coming out of her mouth, I'm gonna enjoy seeing her get all riled up about something silly.

That's literally how we open the topic. I've gone to her with my fandom news like "I know this isn't your thing but OMG SQUEEEE" and she's come to me with "I know you don't care about this thing but OMG HE SAID WHAAAAAT."

We're not going to do that about a hard limit (I don't talk to her about pet death. Ever. There is a pet death in my current fandom - I do not mention it to her.)

It's about enjoying the person. And if you don't enjoy the person, then why are you friends?

[(Anonymous)]

Because you can enjoy the person and also not enjoy a topic at the same time and that's okay? I'm sorry but you sound very young to me, especially when you basically accuse everyone that has friends in different circles of not ~really~ enjoying each others' company or each other as friends if you aren't willing to do sit through an hour of something you don't have any interest in.

Even your friend acknowledges that you don't have an interest in what they're talking about and thinks that's worthy of acknowledgement or apologetic mention. I would rather talk to a friend who is into sports about sports. Most people have multiple friends that enjoy different things, and you spare the ones who don't care the time and effort of listening to something you know they don't care about if you can. Out of caring about the person.

This doesn't mean you don't enjoy the person; quite the opposite.