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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2023-09-27 06:54 pm
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[ SECRET POST #6109 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6109 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 18 secrets from Secret Submission Post #873.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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feotakahari: (Default)

[personal profile] feotakahari 2023-09-27 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
And of course they’re white.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
It's a part of respectability politics, in order to justify being sad about a person being killed they have to be framed as a perfect innocent angel so we can mourn them. Because a victim being anything other than perfect means they deserved it. It's really fucked up and happens all over murder and police brutality cases.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad the podcasts I listen to will cover victims that don't fit that 'perfect victim' profile and don't shy away from talking about if someone had drug problems/mental illness/was a sex worker, etc. and how those things don't mean it's any less a tragedy that they were murdered. I do appreciate that. But what does annoy me is that they tend to call *all* female murder victims beautiful, because like...not everyone is beautiful! And that's okay! It just seems...patronizing or something, IDK.

Some of them also tend to infantilize female victims, too...the amount of times I've heard a victim being described as a "little girl" and then finding out she was 16, or hearing the phrase "she was a young girl in her 20s" is just irritating as hell. Especially because they *never* call teenage/20 something guys "little boys" or "young boys"; if anything they're more likely to refer to a 16/17 year old guy as a man.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 01:27 am (UTC)(link)
My small moment of ick is when a young girl/woman is murdered and her family talks about all the things they'll miss out on and it's always framed like, "I'll never see her walk down the aisle, I'll never hold my grandbabies in my arms" and I'm like... what if she didn't want to get married or have kids? You're assuming she'd have done both of those things.

It's a small nitpick, and sure, some of the aforementioned victims expressed a desire for marriage and babies before they were taken, so fair enough. But I can't help thinking of all the women who had a different plan for their lives, being talked about ONLY as a loss in terms of being married and producing offspring. If I get murdered, I hope people are honest and say, "Well, she wasn't interested in dating, long term relationships OR kids and I think she might've been ace, tbh and also she just wanted to be left alone to live her damn life but that doesn't mean it's okay she's dead".

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
what if she didn't want to get married or have kids? You're assuming she'd have done both of those things.

YES. That bugs me too, and is so, so common in pretty much any situation where a girl/woman dies (whether she's murdered, or dies in a car accident or something). I wish people wouldn't assume so many things about the kind of lives complete strangers would've led if they'd been able to.

I read a tribute to a little girl who was murdered once, and it included the standard getting married/having kids stuff, but it was framed more as a 'what could've been' type thing, and it also mentioned other things like 'she could've been a scientist who cured cancer' or 'she could've written the next great American novel' or 'she could've gone to the moon', and when it mentioned her getting married, it didn't assume it would've been to a man (and actually even was like 'maybe she would've someday realized she wasn't even a she at all, but a trans guy'). It was pretty long, with a whole bunch of hypothetical things she could've done with her life, and the overall point was like 'look at all the things she could've potentially done, but she never will because she was murdered and it's so fucking tragic'. I thought it was really interesting and was done in a much more real and human way than you usually hear murder victims talked about.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
That's a way better tribute than most victims get, that's for sure.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 07:00 am (UTC)(link)
Bleakly, part of me always wonders if 'no grandbabies' is related to why the victim was killed.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
What? Are you trying to say people kill their kids because they won't give them grandkids?

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 09:51 am (UTC)(link)
Almost nobody says those things.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
NAYRT

Not sure where you live or what sorts of news sources you pay attention to, but I hear those things every. fucking. time. someone dies. Or maybe you're interested in those things, so it doesn't even register with you. For those of us who aren't, it stands out.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
I must recommend American Murder: The Family Next Door about the Chris Watts murders. The whole doc is made up of real footage and has a lot of Shanann's text messages. Let me tell you that woman was one unlikable, aggravating, MLM-pushing, overbearing attention seeker. Does not at all change the fact that her murder was absolutely atrocious.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
If that's the one on Netflix, I did find the constant FB and vlog posts really annoying, but don't recall the mother being THAT awful. I don't remember the MLM stuff, though. Mostly it was so cringe, like jesus so much of her life was made public, by her, in ways that make my skin crawl. I'm a private person, there's no way in hell I'm blogging that much about me, my kids (if I had any) etc. etc. The sad texts to her friend(s) were even worse because her marriage was clearly in the toilet and she had MIL issues as well as husband issues.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
I remember finding her whole backstory just...really sad in that documentary. Like, she was clearly in a very vulnerable place when Chris met her, and it's obvious he took great advantage of that , and it was haunting to see how so much of what she recorded about their lives together wound up revealing way more than she likely ever intended.

That was a chilling documentary in general. The stuff with his kids was just...fucking hell, what a piece of shit scumbag he was.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
It's like how they say you don't have to worry about getting murdered if you don't light up every room you enter.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 05:38 am (UTC)(link)
I know there are probably decent true crime shows/podcasts. But all of this shit makes me hate this genre as a whole.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I've made some poor decisions in my life, especially with regard to meeting people off the internet. And I think the one thing that's kept me safe is I don't "light up a room" whenever I walk in. No self respecting serial killer would want me on his tally.

(Anonymous) 2023-09-28 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"She lit up a room!"

Most rooms have light switches, this isn't an incredible feat.
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