[ SECRET POST #6164 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6164 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[The Gilded Age]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #881.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Sex

[(Anonymous)]

IMHO I don't think sex is the only thing that someone wants but will punish another for giving it to them.

Money? Time spent together? Secrets?

But from what I'm guessing, you're asking why someone would slut shame another for having sex with them?

Because pride is where the majority of power lies in sex.
It's a very vulnerable thing.
You're naked, you're doing things that feel very intense, it's all about your body and their body so it takes a lot of actual physical work.
And we as a human society at large place a lot of meaning into it (shame, pride, status).

So it's easy to weaponize sex in such a way that you can destroy their life by using an intimate experience to hurt them by saying they were bad/wrong for having sex.

I personally don't think most people are like this, but just like romance or even building a relationship that relies on a lot of trust (work, friendship, cohabitation), that's the risk you take.

You have to trust that others will treat you like you want to be treated, but you better damn be sure that you're holding yourself up to those standards and of course, vet. Don't give your trust to just anyone.

I'm a virgin too, but I don't think sex is as bad or "black and white" as you are seeming to think it is OP.

Like, OP, are you thinking there is always a "Giver" and "Taker" dynamic in sex? Like, a woman "gives" her sexual experience to her partner and a man "takes" the sexual experience from their partner?
Like....that doesn't make sense to me??

Shouldn't both (or all if it's more than 2 people having sex) parties have a certain level of giving and receiving sex in sexual situations? Like, obviously, some sexual encounters are just about one partner receiving all the sexual gratification, but I would imagine the other partner is gaining confidence or some type of enjoyment that they are giving their partner sexual gratification (thinking of BDSM situations).

If you don't want to "give" your sex to anyone then don't. If someone keeps telling you that having sex is what they want and you should "give" it to them to prove that you love them or anything that has nothing to do with what YOU want, that's not someone you should be with in such a way that they think they are allowed access to you in such a way.
That includes feeling pressured by peers/society to have sex to prove that you are normal or that you are worthy of love or something of that variety.

I just want OP to know that sex isn't about the other person, it should be about you AND your partner(s).

If anyone tries to shame another for having sex with them, they're probably a shitty person who does other shitty things. Using your sex lives as if they're bargaining chips on one's worthiness is a terrible way to perceive sex IMO.
If someone fucked a shitty person who tried to shame them for fucking said shitty person? They fucked a shitty person but they aren't shitty for having had sex.