[ SECRET POST #6169 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6169 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


01.



__________________________________________________



02.



__________________________________________________



03.



__________________________________________________



04.



__________________________________________________



05.



__________________________________________________



06.




























Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #882.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

General comments:

(If the thread contains spoilery/triggery content please warn/post as 2nd comment so it collapses!
Please collapse images, too!)

Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

I was reminded today, out of the blue, about a professionally-written review I'd read for 'Children of Men' back when the movie came out. The critic complained that the film hadn't sufficiently explained why humans losing the ability to reproduce would make people feel like it was the end of the world. It gave me pause as the time, as I hadn't thought that was something that needed to be spelled out.

What's a review that you've read that's puzzled you, or that you thought was silly? Hell, what's a review you've read that you thought was just plain bad?

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

I don't understand any movie review that slams an MCU movie as being just another superhero movie. That is literally the thing they are supposed to be.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

A review for Monsters Inc. that took it so seriously that the ending made them angry because in their opinion it was just as bad for monsters to wake kids up to make them laugh as to scare them, because kids need a full night's sleep so they shouldn't be woken up in the middle of the night at all.

I mean, maaaaaybe if it was the same kid every single night, but it wasn't, so it wasn't like anyone was routinely losing sleep... but still, that was so un-genre-savvy for the tone of the move that it just came off as utterly ridiculous.

And I know this can't be helped to some extent, but reviewers of movies in a franchise who are clearly not familiar with the franchise and go in on "common knowledge" assumptions that are actually false. I know they need to review the movie anyway for their job, but as a Pokemon fan at the time of the first movie's release, seeing all these boomer critics slam the movie for being hypocritical about it being bad that Pokemon were forced to fight each other at the end when "that's what they do all the time anyway, how is it different" made me want to email them all and explain "Uhm ACTUALLY normal trainer battles are willingly fought on the part of the Pokemon."

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

For Titanic, there were a lot of predictions that the film was going to bomb (or sink, a lot of them made that joke), though some of that was down to production issues (over-budget, over-schedule, release date pushed back, etc.). And there were some not great reviews about it being too long and not liking the romantic plot. But after it was the number one at the box office week after week after week, some of those critics went back and re-reviewed it and changed their tunes.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[kamino_neko]

Recently a FNaF movie review that was absolutely agog that the mascots included a chicken in a bib and a cupcake. Like...how did they not grok that the mascots being not inherently threatening, and the sort of thing that you'd find in a 'Chuck E Cheese's' type place, is kind of an important part of the premise...

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

asldasjlk WILD

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[philstar22]

I get complaints of repetitiveness when really specific things are being repeated. But when movies are just all following a general arc that has been used by every genre ever like the basic hero's journey arc, then I roll my eyes. Like complaints there is always a final battle in superhero movies. Of course there is. There is also one in almost every action movie ever, that isn't unique to superhero movies. That criticism just sounds dumb to me.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

Sure, but the final battles are so similar to each other that they're getting boring, which is not something that a final battle should be. Hell, even the actors are starting to look bored by them. Honestly, that's one of the biggest (non labor practices-related) drawbacks to cheap CG effects compared to cheap practical effects. The practical effects may not look any better, but just the fact that they're happening in meatspace means that the special effects team can't just fall back on preset explosion sequence 73 when they're running out of time/ideas.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

I read a review of Dancer in the Dark that so fundamentally misrepresented one of the major plot points, I had to wonder if the critic either fell asleep or took a couple of ill-timed bathroom breaks. (Critic said that the main character stole money from her boss. SPOILER, it was the other way around.)

For the stage musical, A Little Night Music, read a review in which the critic complained the show was "dated" and modern audiences would not like that the main couple are in a problematic May/December relationship, and one of the side characters is a chauvinist pig who sings a whole song about how proudly misogynist he is.
1. The whole plot arc of the May/December couple is that they're both unhappy and unsatisfied in the relationship because they're too different, and (SPOILER!) end up separating and pairing up with new partners their own age.
2. The misogynist character is not being held up as some kind of hero or role model, he's a PARODY of male chauvinists, and his song is meant to mock men who think that way.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

I once went to a OneOKRock concert and read a newspaper review/commentary for it afterwards which was 100% written by some old, self-important guy who obviously thought him being there and having to write a critique for the concert was beneath him. Not only did the dude completely misrepresent just about everything about the songs (the lyrics were mostly English so the language barrier wasn't the issue) and didnt even bother to do even the tiniest bit of research for the band, he also thought it would be smart to throw in some low-key racism.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

Damn, this reminds me of a review I read once for a Live and Collective Soul concert. The critic had clearly hated them for decades, considering them to be the low point of '90s alternative rock, and I remember thinking, "why in the world is this the guy they sent to cover this event?"

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

Aaaand this is why I don't read reviews about shows of my favourite groups when they come to America lol!

(Which OOR concert? >_>; I was able to go to the Oakland one of the Luxury Disease tour last year.)

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[greghousesgf]

Some online review that said Boardwalk Empire was boring. What the hell? that show is anything but boring.
there are a couple of women who work for the New Yorker named Rifka Galchen and Nancy Franklin who trash Hugh Laurie a lot, even when talking about shows he wasn't in. Dumb cows, I hope I never meet either of them.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

The (can I call it genre?) genre of incel reviews: Any negative reviews from incels or "alpha" men are basically a green flag for me. I loved Fury Road, I loved Barbie, I loved Prey. C'mon idiots, tell on yourselves AND accidentally rec good stuff to watch.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

While I think the movie itself has issues, I recall reading a review of Brave where the reviewer was complaining about the central relationship between Merida and her mother as being 'something that's been done in hundreds of films before.' Which just had me boggling because there *aren't* a lot of animated movies that actually explore mother-daughter relationships (at least where the mom isn't dead) and on top of that there are literally a ton of movies that explore *father-son* relationships and I have never seen a single reviewer make the same 'been done before' remark.

Actually on a similar note, shout out to every white dude reviewer whose review of Turning Red basically boiled down to 'I am uncomfortable when movie not about me.'

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, this! The "this extremely relatable female character/relationship is not something that I, a 36 year old white man, have personally experienced and therefore the existence of this movie upsets me" reviews sure aren't new, but they're certainly getting louder and more ridiculous.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[rosehiptea]

A review of The Artist that basically said "If silent movies are so great why don't they make them anymore." It sounded like the person didn't actually watch it and just wanted to be edgy since it was getting great reviews from pretty much everyone else.

Re: Reviews you've found puzzling, silly, etc

[(Anonymous)]

I read a review for an amateur production of Les Mis, the reviewer wanted everyone to know that they used to live in London (and repeated it several times throughout the review) but they never saw Les Mis when they lived in London which obviously shows their good sense because it's about this guy who plays the martyr all of the time...
(It sounds like a joke review, I really want it to have been a joke, but I don't think it was.)

Only in America

[(Anonymous)]

Came back from Thanksgiving with a cold. Not COVID (multiple negative tests), pretty sure just a bad cold with a slight fever.

Problem is, I'm out of both sick days and vacation days until January. If it were COVID, I'd have to stay home. but with a cold, I don't think I can. I guess I'll just wear a mask? IDK. I feel terrible. At least I'm not in a job where I see a lot of non-coworkers outside of scheduled meetings, and i don't have any of those Monday.

Re: Only in America

[(Anonymous)]

I hate this country. Is anyone from a civilized country willing to adopt me?

Re: Only in America

[(Anonymous)]

DA. Too old to adopt, anyone want to get married and welcome me to your civilized lands?

Re: Only in America

[(Anonymous)]

SA

But at least I have a cat who knows when I'm not feeling well and settles herself on my belly to make sure I'm okay.

Re: Only in America

[(Anonymous)]

Well you can go to ours. But I reaaallly don't think you want it here. It's a big one to the west (or east) of you. We do have paid by (taxes) government sick days though

Re: Only in America

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry. Also live in the US and I'm out of Sick Time. I consider my workplace one of the better places in terms of getting time off, especially when you're sick but damn, it is still not enough.

What really grinds my gears is I get sick easily and I can't control that when I get even a simple cold it'll knock me out for at least 2 FULL weeks (14 days) to recover.
I don't want to take that time off just to lay in bed at home in misery but I sure as FUCK can't work with inflamed lymph nodes either.
Some people might be faking their cold to get a couple more days off but if I call in sick, IT'S BECAUSE I'M SICK!

Some of us unfortunately get sick more than just once or twice a year and 6 sick days sometimes can't even cover 1 time I'm sick