[ SECRET POST #6195 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6195 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Narnia]



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09. [WARNING for discussion of non-con/dub-con]

































Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #885.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Vent Thread

[(Anonymous)]

I have this long-time friend who has behaved very oddly recently.

She pressured me into doing something that I wasn't totally comfortable doing, implying that to decline would be a mark of poor character; I told her that this was hurtful; she told me not to speak to her for a couple of days. When I didn't, she took that as evidence that I didn't care about her. She has now lambasted me for allowing her to pressure me into doing the above thing, because it made her uncomfortable; taken my hurt at being pressured to mean that I don't respect her boundaries (???); and told me that things she specifically asked me to share with her have been burdensome.

I am all twisted and turned around, and not sure how to move forward from this. I'm questioning the entire time we've been friends. Have I always made her uncomfortable? Have I always been a burden? But also...wtf is up with getting mad at me for something she wanted to do so badly that she insulted me to get me to do it? Who is this person, and what is she doing in the body of my friend?

Re: Vent Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Not to throw around the word "narcissist" but holy hell, all that projecting, manipulating and abusing she's doing isn't helping an argument to the contrary.

Either she's suffered some mystery medical issue very recently, or this is just how she's always been and the mask has finally come off.

Re: Vent Thread

[(Anonymous)]

Your "friend" sounds like an asshole who's learned to weaponize therapy-speak. Boundaries aren't "rules I make for other people" - she's just using it to manipulate you. I have no idea what's up with this person or if she's always been this way or just going through some rough shit, but honestly, I'd do a slow fade and not invest any more effort into this relationship unless you get an apology or see some actual behavioral changes.

Re: Vent Thread

[(Anonymous)]

If this is a sudden personality change, that might be an indicator of an urgent medical issue.

Re: Vent Thread

[(Anonymous)]

For me, a good friend would never pressure others to do something that person doesn't want to do.

I understand encouraging a friend when they doubt themselves, but even that has a limit. IMO if a friend says straight out they don't want to do it, I will accept that, no reason needed, unless they share because they want to.

IMO You telling your friend you didn't want to do something isn't a moment for her to start moralizing it.


To me, it comes across like she doesn't want to own up to her shitty behavior so instead she is trying to flip it around to blame you, even with flimsy excuses, and you have to consider her feelings first.

Also, maybe it's from my own damage with crappy friends/family members, but I don't like when people demand me to share secrets/vulnerable subjects or experiences with them.

And it's even more messed up when they tell me those things are burdensome to them.
Again IMO, that sort of behavior is manipulative. They set you up to feel like crap.

If you don't share with them, there's something wrong with you for not trusting them (how weird that they demand we give our trust to them when it is something they must EARN on OUR terms, not theirs; just like how I know I must earn other people's trust - not just expect people to trust me juat because).

If you DO share...if you talk too much about it, they say you're being self centered or they'll give you advice you didn't ask for or they tell you your life/problems are too burdensome for them to really engage with you on.

Tl;dr: your friend's behavior sounds bad and if they can't own up to hurting your feelings and disrespecting your thoughts and feelings...this friend may not be someone you want to keep interacting with, especially as friends.