[ SECRET POST #939 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #939 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 17 pages, 403 secrets from Secret Submission Post #135.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing it wrong ], [ 1 - "how the hell is this doing it wrong?" ], [ 1 2 - empty comment ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

As a girl who also reads comics, this is exactly the kind of attitude that bugs me. It seems like you're trying to play up this attitude of "That's right, I'm a girl who reads comics! Isn't that amazing? Me, a girl, reading comics!"

Why can't you just be yourself and read comics? Why do you have to be a girl comic reader, instead of a comic reader who happens to also be a girl?

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Because she is a girl comic reader. And she's trying to show people that no matter how you dress, a girl can and does like comics too. Not just a certain KIND of girl, but ALL girls can.

[(Anonymous)]

If you're a really feminine girl who reads comics, that's great. But if you're playing up your girliness for the sake of the people who will see you reading comics, that's sad.

Why can't she enjoy comics as herself? Why go so far as to make sure to shed the slightest hint of anything "remotely tomboy-ish"?

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Because she doesn't want to be "just one of the guys" she wants to be a girl who reads comics. She wants to, she likes it, she doesn't know why she likes it so much or makes so much of an effort, but she likes it, and who cares why?

[(Anonymous)]

THIS.

[(Anonymous)]

This. This times a thousand.

[tenmorehours.livejournal.com]

I think it's mostly because girly girls like us are tired of it being looked down upon for being "girly" and trying to do "guy stuff". It's fine as a tomboy, but some of us want to have our frilly dresses and our geeky hobbies, too.

[(Anonymous)]

...which is why I said that if you ARE a "girly girl" and you like comics, that's great.

It's when you're going out of your way to present yourself as a certain type of person for the benefit of the people who will see you enjoying comics that it's bad.

If you're NOT a girly girl, why make a point of being one when you go buy comics?

[tenmorehours.livejournal.com]

The OP didn't say that she's not a girly girl, just that she makes a more conscious effort to dress girly when she goes to a comic store. Yes, she's maybe putting more thought into it than she needs to, but who says she's being who she's not?

[childings.livejournal.com]

There's a different between being a girly girl and intentionally playing up your femininity in order to make a point.

Just be yourself, geez.

[tenmorehours.livejournal.com]

But being girly is myself. I actually spent years pretending to be a tomboy just so I could be respected as a gamer and an anime fan, when I'm really not. The fact that I'm happy with wearing skirts and planning out my fashion for a anime convention shows that I am being myself after years of feeling like I had to dress down my princess-loving, shoe-obsessed side.

[childings.livejournal.com]

It seems like you're misunderstanding what I'm trying to say. There's nothing wrong with being feminine, but the OP was trying hard to appear feminine, because she was trying to make a point about how girls can appreciate things like comics or whatever. My point is that you should just be yourself... if you're already feminine (like you are) then people will notice, you don't really have to play it up, if you're a tomboy, well, just be a tomboy instead of trying to make a point about how you're a girl who likes comics. If you're a tomboy, you're a tomboy -- I don't think the average person would assume you're just pretending to be masculine in order to enjoy masculine things. Ultimately nobody really cares, anyway.

Also, I don't understand how anime is masculine in general considering that there are plenty of female-oriented series and half of the fandom (at least) appears to be female and don't hide their girlishness much ("OMG X CHARACTER IS SOOOO CUTE," etc.)

[tenmorehours.livejournal.com]

She said she tries harder, but it doesn't mean she isn't girly to begin with. You sound like you're assuming that she is a tomboy to begin with.

And then I was a kid and got into anime, the sort of stuff that got me into it (Pokemon, Digimon) was considered to be mostly for boys, particularly in the town I lived in. I had to hang out with my brother's friends to talk to any of them about that sort of thing. So, I started acting like a tomboy to "fit in" and be accepted by them. I've only recently broken that habit, which is what I'm referring to.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

There's a different between being a girly girl and intentionally playing up your femininity in order to make a point.

Well, if she's anything like me, then playing with other people's preconceptions to make a political argument may be exactly who she is as a person.

People put "just be yourself" as this ideal goal. But honestly, myself is a lot of different things. I dress up some days. I dress down some days. Sometimes those days correspond to places I go or crowds I meet, sometimes they don't. I never feel less like myself because of the clothes I choose to wear from one minute to the next, because my clothes don't define "myself". They're just one tiny piece, and a reversible piece, too.

We can't say what her "self" is just from reading this, just that she deliberately emphasizes one aspect of her self-prescribed identity when going into a particular environment. And she does it to reject the norms of that social environment. That is asserting one's identity in the face of conformity and expectation.

[will-o-whisper.livejournal.com]

That's the problem I have with this secret. It's not the fact that she likes dressing up, and does so even when going to the comic store. It's the fact that she makes a point of dressing in a stereotypically feminine way, to the point of changing if she isn't "girly" enough, JUST to go to the store. To "prove" she's really a girl. I don't know, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. :/

You can be girl who likes comics without skirts and makeup. Not dolling yourself up all the time doesn't mean you want to be "one of the boys."

Eh.

[pyrasaur.livejournal.com]

It sounds like she's being herself, and herself is someone who enjoys looking nice before going to a comic book store for the sake of flipping the bird to stereotypes. The whole reason there are stereotypes is because of people who judge others as things like "sad", yaknow.

[tju-tju-tju-tju.livejournal.com]

Because she's trying to make a point, is why.

You're looking at this in too narrow a way.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

People aren't one thing, all the time. Girls like to wear sweatpants to the movies one day, then dress in cute shoes and a tank top with lipstick the next.

Guys like to wear band t-shirts and jeans...but sometimes they like to wear a button-down shirt and slacks, too.

We all trade out roles, and our appearances change from one social scene to the next. It isn't static, and it isn't always uniform. Dressing girly for one thing and casual for another doesn't make her any less of herself.

Sometimes people just want to look nice. Sometimes they deliberately don't. That doesn't make it a falsehood.

YES, THANK YOU!!!

[gershwhen.livejournal.com]

Being a GIRLY girl is part of it, for her and for me :-)

[t3h-toby-chan.livejournal.com]

I don't just 'happen to be' a girl. It is a part of my identity that I'd rather not be compelled to play down or looked down upon for. While I can see the good intentions of the mindset of 'Be a person first, a woman second' as a liberating philosophy, it's flawed in that it reinforces that there is a default state of being which 'woman' is a step down or a step away from.

Which I think is what the OP is trying to express; is that a girl in traditionally male-crowded parts of geek subculture doesn't have to conform to have the male-identified image or mindset to be a part of that culture; that she can keep the conventionally female-attributed identity and not give up the things she likes.

It could also be that she is trying to make herself the exception to the rule and stand out, yes. I know the 'Omg GIRL GAMER' cliche'. Still, there is something to be said about stereotypes of what geek girls are or must be.

[rashaka.livejournal.com]

While I can see the good intentions of the mindset of 'Be a person first, a woman second' as a liberating philosophy, it's flawed in that it reinforces that there is a default state of being which 'woman' is a step down or a step away from.

Yes.

[skelody.livejournal.com]

Yes, there is a hierarchical structure of identification. It starts with being human, and the next step may vary depending on which human you're talking to.

What's wrong with admitting that?

[t3h-toby-chan.livejournal.com]

Which is true to an extent, but the attitude is far from egalitarian.


It's like the fuss over how 'biased' Justice Sotomayor might be; being hispanic and a woman. It's being noticed because, in the mind of society as structured by patriarchy, being a white male is the default state of human being, so few people consider the current judges to have bias.

The idea is that man is the default state of human. Hence Man and Wo-Man. Embracing the identity of what is considered 'variant' will lead people to ask "Well why aren't you just being normal?", which reveals the assumption that 'default' and 'normal' are limited criteria which is most certainly not default for most people.

Which is why 'just be a person' or 'just be yourself' can sometimes have unpleasant undertones of 'just be this way, which I consider default behavior.' If myself is a woman who embraces traditional feminine identity; If myself is gay and proud; If myself is Afro-Brazilian with a loud and strong sense of heritage- then asking for 'normal' behavior with the implication that it is necessarily different from these 'variant' identity points and needed to fit in, that's problematic.


I see this as a girl who feels that socialized pressure to act more like the 'normal' members of the subculture, to the detriment of her identity, and is acting out against it.

[skelody.livejournal.com]

Except... nobody said "default=man" here. "Human" was even specified.

To clarify: I think that the OP's actions are perfectly fine, and may be inspirational to others who are in the same boat. My view is that Human being the primary ID is an ideal. In a world rife with stereotyping, the emphasis of a subidentity (woman, Chinese, Christian) can be a very useful tool in breaking stereotypes centered around those subidentities.

>.> I hope that was, in fact, clear. I'm not great at the whole mind-to-text transfer.

[snowdevil-crow.livejournal.com]

It's because there seems to be this stereotype that a) only guys like comics and b) if and when a girl happens to like comics (which is rare rare rare! /sarcasm) they're tomboys who want to act like guys.

I'm a girl who likes make up and dresses and stuff and I also like comics. So yeah, I'm not going to pretend I'm a tomboy when I'm in a comic book store. I suspect OP is feeling the same.