fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6346 ]

[ SECRET POST #6346 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6346 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My son has been accused of something we're fairly confident he didn't do. Another child corroborates his version of events; meanwhile, the kids saying he did it have been picking on him throughout the school year. Despite this happening at school, there are no adult witnesses, so they are relying on the children's accounts. It's a pure numbers game: more of them say he did it than not, and the fact that the kids blaming him are on record as having beat him up doesn't figure into the picture.

The police were called on him. He's in second grade.

I feel this odd sense of helplessness and despair. There's no way to prove he didn't do it. There are no cameras, and, again, no adults to appeal to. He has no means to defend himself. I can demand answers from the school, but I'm his mother -- of course I'd defend him, right? That I believe he didn't do it means nothing, and I completely understand that. But bias can run in the opposite direction, as well, and the way the school is handling the situation seems designed to hand a weapon over to bullies.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I mostly feel terrible, and my mind keeps going in circles, and I needed to get it out.

I don't have any advice but wanted to say I'm so sorry, that sounds both frustrating and scary! Calling the police seems excessive and it sounds like the school could be doing a much better job.

Having been bullied in school and then blamed for it by my own principal I can understand the frustration. I hope things become clearer and he's not left scarred like I was.

I am so sorry, that sounds really rough.

I was bullied terribly in school and I want to say I'm so glad you're standing by your kid through all this. My parents blamed me for being bullied.

Calling the cops on a second-grader is fucking nightmare fuel and seems over the top and abusive. How incredibly fucked up of the school.
*hugs on offer*

I'm not up on my American school ages, but isn't a second grader like six or maybe seven? I don't know that the police would even answer that call here, if a school can't handle a six year old misbehaving then it really is not a police matter.

Second grade is generally 7-8. I know it's awful but I can't help wondering what the incident was, since OP didn't say. I don't think you should be proud of the fact that your police wouldn't take a call about a kid seriously, because there are kids out there who commit very serious crimes and don't get taken seriously when they should, just because they're kids. The bully kid could have killed someone for all we know, or started a fire. Whoever gets in trouble (hopefully the one who really did it) will be tried as a child, but he should still be held responsible and it wouldn't be wrong to call the police about it if it was that serious.

Children, by definition cannot commit crimes. They may commit acts, but they lack the necessary maturity and judgement skills needed to commit crimes. They are not mentally capable of committing crimes. The acts, however horrible some might be, should be dealt with outwith the law enforcement system. Primarily they are dealt with by the educational systems and the social care systems, along with the parents or guardians thereof. Never the Police. Although the Police may have a role in investigating the parents or guardians if they have failed the children or in managing the situation.

DA

But I agree with this.

THIS

They are 7-8 years old and THIS. Shame on the school for CALLING the police, and shame on the police for actually showing up to terrorize a tiny child. I'm willing to bet that said child probably isn't white.

Unless the kid had a gun or other weapon, I agree calling the police seems way over the top. 2nd grade! These poor kids.

In the US, we have what is called the 'school to prison pipeline'. Kids, mostly kids of color, are arrested and taken away by 'school cops' (usually police employed by the schools to patrol in the halls with little to no training vis a vis - kids). This is for stuff like...having ADHD. The kid was zip-tied hand and foot, and the cop took him away to get a psychiatric eval WITHOUT calling the kids parents. (https://www.kcra.com/article/5-year-old-handcuffed-charged-with-battery-on-officer/6395087)

Kids are arrested for texting, for food fights, for kissing a classmate (not sexual harassment, but like a 6 year old kissing another kid on the cheek).

The US - once again being disgusting, horrifying, traumatic, and embarrassing.

In a country that supposedly believes in "innocent until proven guilty," the burden of proof should rest entirely on the people claiming he did it. Not on the number of people making the claim - on the quality of their proof. If there is none, they have no case and they're being unjust to your son. I realize hearing this from a stranger may be small comfort, but you are not the one who is acting biased here. It's entirely natural that you have more of a responsibility to this particular child than a person who's being paid to look after a roomful of them, but that does not make them "objective." It just means there's pressure on them to do whatever they think will cut the shortest path between an incident that involved the police and having a nice, quiet classroom again.

My assumption that the adults running my school cared about right and wrong at all didn't survive my first year there. I'm sorry you and your son are going through this, but he's lucky to have a parent who listens and empathizes and cares about doing right by him. Schools will try to make you side with them against him, but they do that to make their jobs easier. Don't let them.

+1000

+ a billion. Admins taught me in elementary school that authorities don't give a shit about right/wrong and justice. They just want problems to go away.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #6346 ]

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