[ SECRET POST #6361 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6361 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #909.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I do it for my family. At least I can use it if they don't like it. Things that are marketed as gifts are rubbish anyway. Something might seem like a good gift but would YOU want it? If no, then buy something you'd buy for yourself.
I don't see why it's weird.

[(Anonymous)]

are you trolling or do you need empathy explained at a 5 year old level?

[(Anonymous)]

oh, wow. Sorry I shared.

[(Anonymous)]

You should be.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, it's probably a little embarrassing, but look at it as an opportunity for introspection.

[(Anonymous)]

Buying things marketed as gifts is your first mistake. The second is buying for yourself instead of your family.

[(Anonymous)]

DA

But this.

What you do if you want the other person to be happy you bought them something is pay attention to what they like, and try to come up with something that they wouldn't buy for themselves but are likely to enjoy having. When you buy something YOU would like and give it to someone who really isn't interested in that, generally it's sort of a disappointment for them, because you could have tried to put yourself in their place and you didn't.

[(Anonymous)]

Do... Do you never speak to your family or...?

[(Anonymous)]

This generally my olde sister's train of thought. She bought her daughter (who at the time was 11) a big makeup palette for Christmas and said it works as a double gift because she can use the makeup too.

I personally don't do this with gifts, but within certain circumstances I don't think it's a purely bad way to gift shop.

[(Anonymous)]

The things marketed as gifts are for when you don’t know the person you're buying it for very well or at all. For people you do know you're supposed to get something a bit more personal. You may even have heard them talk about something they've been thinking about buying, but at the very least you ought to know what they’re into in general term.

sa

[(Anonymous)]

Wow you guys need to lighten up on your Javert Judgement Sword. I like gifting family. Tried several approaches and this is what works for me. Everybody's not the same as you.

If you guys make an effort you might see how it might make sense. I'll help you.
1 You and them have similar tastes
2 They buy everything they like before you have a chance to do it for them
3 The older generation guilts you for existing no matter what you gift
4 Things are gathering dust as it is
5 It's attention that matters.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like your family is a bunch of jerks, and you've taken after them.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like you enjoy hurting people that did you no wrong.
I'm really really sorry I've shared. Coming to fs is a habbit and I need to break it. It's my fault I ended up hurt today.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry ayrt is being an ass, though it's possible they misinterpreted your post. Either way, what they said was uncalled for.

I'll admit, I wasn't exactly clear on what you were saying either. If you were saying you found out through trial and error and concluded everyone was different, or if you were saying fuck it, nobody's going to be happy so you might as well do whatever.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

No.
"I'll admit, I wasn't exactly clear on what you were saying either."
What 'either'? Why are you speaking for everybody? You are a jerk like the other anons. You just said:
I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

It's so cliche that it's not even funny.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

The toxic dynamic you describe doesn't mean "buy other people gifts that are really for me" is a not-weird approach. It's still weird. It's a poor coping mechanism you've adopted because your family is toxic and dysfunctional.

Personally, I don't buy gifts for ingrates who treat me badly. I think that approach is pretty good, but you do you. Just be aware that it's not normal or healthy and try not to be surprised when other people point this out to you.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for saying I'm not normal without knowing me. And my family. Again, sorry I've shared. You're fucking valtures.

Re: sa

[(Anonymous)]

DA

*shrugs* If this works for your family, as well as you, great. But it's probably the commonest way to fuck up gift giving. And usually the last person to know it damages relationships is the person going "I'll just buy things I want, then give them away and pretend I thought of other people."

[(Anonymous)]

It's weird because ideally, gifts are supposed to be things you choose specifically for the person you're giving it to, because you want THEM to enjoy it. It's not about you or what you want. Most people understand that, even if they are bad at choosing appropriate gifts. Narcissists get confused because their world revolves around them, so they assume that other people ought to feel the same way, of course.

[(Anonymous)]

People here call me narcissistic, unhealthy, toxic and not normal just because I buy gifts for my family that I'd want for myself.

MT FAMILY LIKES MY GIFTS.

WE HAVE SIMILAR TASTES.

LEARN TO READ.

FUCK. I'm officially out. I'm not a part of this community. I'm just going to follow my submited secrets and that's it. Miserable and toxic place. I'm ashamed to have been a part of fs for so long. I have nothing in common with cruel people unable to read and comprehend, going for blood at every personal story and detail. I'm not a part of fs. Miserable, stupid and cruel people. I should have left when most of the named users'd left.