[ SECRET POST #6444 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6444 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 20 secrets from Secret Submission Post #921.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Boomer dad BS.

[(Anonymous)]

Damn, that's really annoying.

I've been on both ends of such a conversation. In more recent years, I've been way more on the receiving annoying non-asked-for advice.

IME the person asking questions/seeing different ways to do things, may not even be aware they are being nosy, critical and toe-stepping. And even if they do know, they're not stopping and completely disregarding your POV and that you are your own person.

I think a lot of the advice others upthread have given are great. I'd also like to add, with the people in my life who criticize the things I do (even the small shit like how I breathe or choose to put on my socks), I have to remind myself that they likely are looking for an outlet to feel superior to someone else (even if they aren't conscious of it).

I have to remember to pick my battles when they're worth it.
Explaining why I do things the way I like or how my thought process goes.. is a waste of breath 98% of the time.
No matter how well thoughtout my explaination is, they will always find something to point out that they would have done different/better. Or come back with some snarky comment.

I find more peace telling the inquisitor "this is the way I like to do it" or if I'm feeling a little pissy "if I wanted your advice I would have asked". Or even a "I'm trying to get some work done" (but why are you doing it that way and not this way) "because this is how I do it" (but why not this or that or blah blah blah - look at me being so observant and smart watching you do shit while I judge your performance) *go silent as I finish my task and walk away*

There will always be challenges with people who nitpick and always have some observation/tip to make. It can be so fucking annoying, but as I've worked more on my people skills, I can get over my annoyances a little easier.

Re: Boomer dad BS.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're right. I don't think my dad realizes how nosy and critical he sounds when he does this, nor would he see it as an attempt to micro-manage someone else's life for whatever reason. He'd hate it if someone hovered over his shoulder nitpicking his decisions, of course, but when he does it he's "just trying to help" or "just making conversation". That's what's so maddening about it, his refusal to see that he's being incredibly annoying and a jerk about stuff that doesn't affect him in any way.

I get frustrated because I don't want to be rude or loud about this, but he literally will not listen to anything else. Diversionary tactics only go so far, because he's just so very determined to offer his .02 about pet care or the best route to get to the dentist and it's a real puzzle to him why I'm not more appreciative. I'm dealing with depression, and it's hard enough to get through these mundane tasks as it is. Summoning up the energy to politely discourage him from "helping" is a further emotional drain I don't need.