Case (
case) wrote in
fandomsecrets2024-12-26 06:51 pm
[ SECRET POST #6565 ]
⌈ Secret Post #6565 ⌋
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Notes:
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Re: Advice thread
(Anonymous) 2024-12-27 05:25 am (UTC)(link)She might be open to play that separates topping from penetration. It's easier to get into a mindset where the thing going into her is rightfully part of her, and just happens to be attached to your body, if you opt for ways of having sex where the motion is still controlled by the dom. This is more straightforward to work out, at first, with fingers than with non-bodyparts. If you two don't already do this, maybe bring up that you like the idea of her grabbing your hand, letting you know if you have permission to move and how, and bringing herself off on your fingers. For the duration, that's her hand. You might have to work out positioning together so that it doesn't hurt your arm, but logistics aside, that's the most non-threatening way I know to physically suss out where the boundaries ought to go. And whether it would be fun for your partner to nudge the edges of what she's confident doing.
Don't let your curiosity about switching up your sex life distract you from helping her feel good in what might seem to you like preamble: she may not want to take it farther, and implicitly, that needs to be fine. It can be difficult for a dom to know how they feel about finger-penetration based on unpartnered sex, because it's an awkward position as well as an emotionally-loaded act. If when she experimented by herself, she found the physical sensations unexciting ... having a separate body under her control could make that a lot more stimulating.
One thing you might approach tactfully, though, is that if she always uses the strap-on, there's a good chance that feels like *her* erection. She might be more open to your getting one of your own, and have preferences about girth, length, etc. Assuming she's open to that at all - some doms are not and will never.
Another miscellaneous thing to take into account is that the partner supplying the penetrative implement, even if that's a hand, often winds up doing more physical work during sex. Some of this is positional, but some of this is unavoidable. You may use muscles you don't work out anywhere else in quite this way, and will likely be expected to *keep* using them until your dom gets off.