[ SECRET POST #6898 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6898 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[What We Do in the Shadows]



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[Hero Inside]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 28 secrets from Secret Submission Post #985.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Thanksgiving blues.

[(Anonymous)]

Alas, I'm the opposite. I haven't had the opportunity to visit for at least a decade, and in that time both my family and I have realized that this holiday is meaningless to us when we don't actually like turkey. To my mom, it's only about the food! And I can accept that, I'll find other days and times to visit, so divorcing the date of meaning has been really helpful.

I get you, nonny, a few years ago I had a really hard time balancing visits because I was newly out as a trans person and my nephews were too young to understand, so limiting my time around them was the only way to survive. But now, it's harder to break back into family routines even though my nephews get it and my siblings are cool. I feel like I've failed on several fronts, and I don't know if it's worth it to fight or just let it go.

FWIW, my 50 years have taught me that we can and should establish our own boundaries, and that "tradition" is a crutch we don't need to take up for any reason if we don't want to. If you don't want to travel and be forced to stay at a relative's place, you don't have to! No law says you have to indulge your relations if you don't want to. Don't tell them your work allows you a week off which they can coopt to stay there with them, limit it to day-of visits only or tell them you can't travel right now, just fucking don't. You have the right and freedom to decide how to spend your life, and I guarantee you no one on their deathbed has ever said "gosh I wish I'd spent a few thanksgivings with my shitty relatives who aren't even here to hold my hand while I pass." Most people who hold themselves as prisoners to their relatives on holidays seem like the kind of people who are mentally enslaved to concepts of tradition that they don't actually believe in, and this internet stranger gives you permission to re-evaluate your boundaries.