case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2025-12-04 06:31 pm

[ SECRET POST #6908 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6908 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 05 secrets from Secret Submission Post #986.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: Golden child vs. the scapegoat

(Anonymous) 2025-12-05 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you for your perspective. This seems like a fairly common dynamic in families and it's toxic for everyone involved. I've tried hard over the years not to let the favoritism spoil the relationship between me and my brother, but I think this is a topic where he and I have to agree to disagree. I just wish he could have a more complete perspective of things, like you do.

Re: Golden child vs. the scapegoat

(Anonymous) 2025-12-05 04:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Nonny, I don’t know if this will be helpful, and if it isn’t please ignore.

My sister sat me down years ago and was blunt with me about how she felt I was the Golden Child. She said she’d needed to get this off her chest, and I wasn’t allowed to interrupt or defend myself until she was done. It was…a lot. I didn’t feel I’d been the Golden Child, but I could see her perspective. When she was done, I asked her what she wanted from me. She said that she just wanted me to understand her perspective and not discount her experiences so that we could have an adult relationship that didn’t run through our parents.

We have a good relationship now, which is good because we are now orphans. She was smart to raise the subject and treat it as she did. I wanted to share so you could think about maybe doing the same with your sibling?

Re: Golden child vs. the scapegoat

(Anonymous) 2025-12-05 07:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I've tried. I wasn't even as firm about it as your sister was (and you deserve major kudos for hearing her out even though it must've been difficult) but my brother is really determined not to hear me. Pointing out the gaps in our treatment upset him, I think. I did reassure him that I bore him no ill will and that I just wanted him to understand that I had a difference experience than he did growing up. I want the same thing your sister wanted. But not everyone is able to face these types of hard truths, I think.