[ SECRET POST #6927 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6927 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Promise Mascot Agency]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 25 secrets from Secret Submission Post #989.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think this actually helps people long term. In the moment it seems like a good idea, but all it really does is encourage rumination.

Better to help people get outside of themselves and stop fixating on what's wrong.

[(Anonymous)]

You think that wishing people well and expressing empathy is unhelpful? I don't agree.

"Helping people get outside of themselves" sounds well meaning, but really vague... and perhaps a bit presumptuous, unless someone's actually asked for your help.

Relevant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_positivity

[(Anonymous)]

I'm trying to be generous here and consider the possibility that you don't realize that several FS users who frequent the General Comments have had a parent pass away recently. So "what's wrong" is having to spend the holidays (maybe even their first holiday) without a loved one. They're grieving, as you might expect of someone who's lost a family member. What they're "ruminating" on is the missing gap in their lives where their dad used to be. So exhorting them to "get outside of themselves" and "stop fixating" on their grief because you think they ought to get over it faster is at best, insensitive.

[mishey22]

Not who you're replying to here, but, since both of my parents passed away recently, I am personally pretty fkn aware of it, and I'm doing as well as I can and hoping the same for others

[(Anonymous)]

(If you click on the "parent" link on a specific comment, it'll take you to the comment they were replying to.)

I was replying to the anon who said:

"I don't think this actually helps people long term. In the moment it seems like a good idea, but all it really does is encourage rumination.

Better to help people get outside of themselves and stop fixating on what's wrong."

That's who I was quoting in my comment. I think they were wrong to scold you about wishing people well.

[mishey22]

I was saying that they weren't replying to me, but that their further argument was moot because, well, I lost my parents recently as well.

Maybe I have it all confused? Sorry if I messed it up. Hope you're as well as you can be, nonny. I appreciate your condolences ♥

SA

[(Anonymous)]

Hit post too soon. My condolences for your loss. You're a good person to check on others here, and I hope you find some peace for the holidays.

[(Anonymous)]

Anon, it's just a reassuring comment. People who don't agree with the sentiment can just scroll past. What else are they supposed to do as an online stranger?

[(Anonymous)]

they rarely do it here. And then the mod deletes the comments that offended the people that refuse to scroll.

[(Anonymous)]

Who is "they?"

[(Anonymous)]

people that don't like what they read, obv. Are u trolling me? I was replying to this:

People who don't agree with the sentiment can just scroll past. What else are they supposed to do as an online stranger?

[(Anonymous)]

*chuckles*

[(Anonymous)]

cheers!

[(Anonymous)]

We are not a therapy group. Genuine human connection even online helps people through the day, and it matters

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck you.

[(Anonymous)]

I get what you're saying. I think some people fixate on venting the negative and never really get the point of venting, which is to express the negative and then figure out a next step and move on. People online especially seem really fixated on ruminating on negative emotions and victimhood.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, but this is short comment for people who are having a bad time during the holiday season. I don't see how a small comment of support encourages "rumination" instead of reassurance for those it applies to.

I've been in toxic communities that enabled mental illness. This isn't that. Concern troll elsewhere.

[(Anonymous)]

Mom, I don't know how you found this place, but no one needs to hear your better idea that you never take the initiative to do on your own to begin with anyway. You're just saying something to lecture other people so that you feel like a bigger or better person than them. Have we not talked about how this sort of behavior is not needed during the holidays and especially when it has nothing to do with you enough? Why don't you go see if dad needs help with calling Medicare about his prescription pills?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think this actually helps people long term. In the moment it seems like a good idea, but all it really does is encourage rumination.

Better to help people get outside of themselves and stop fixating on what's wrong.

Gosh, how enlightening. Now set an example and make yourself useful elsewhere instead of bringing others down here.

[(Anonymous)]

People should go outside, full stop. Touch the nature.

[(Anonymous)]

I'd love to, but I'm afraid that if I linger too long outside, a bunch of doughy nazi police rejects in an SUV will notice I'm not melanin deficient.