fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6927 ]

[ SECRET POST #6927 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6927 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Promise Mascot Agency]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 25 secrets from Secret Submission Post #989.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I hope everyone is doing well. I know this can be a hard time for many

Thank you! Doing okay family and people wise. Still really worried about our male foster kitten. He just seems to sleep way more than the other three. But he is eating and drinking and plays sometimes. Just....sleeps a lot more. :(

Thank-you. Gritting my teeth and getting through it.

Thanks. My team leader just let me leave work early because I was getting antsy and started feeling like I was going to cry.

Sincerely thank you, I am really emotional rn and appreciated reading this.

You think that wishing people well and expressing empathy is unhelpful? I don't agree.

"Helping people get outside of themselves" sounds well meaning, but really vague... and perhaps a bit presumptuous, unless someone's actually asked for your help.

Relevant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_positivity

I'm trying to be generous here and consider the possibility that you don't realize that several FS users who frequent the General Comments have had a parent pass away recently. So "what's wrong" is having to spend the holidays (maybe even their first holiday) without a loved one. They're grieving, as you might expect of someone who's lost a family member. What they're "ruminating" on is the missing gap in their lives where their dad used to be. So exhorting them to "get outside of themselves" and "stop fixating" on their grief because you think they ought to get over it faster is at best, insensitive.

Not who you're replying to here, but, since both of my parents passed away recently, I am personally pretty fkn aware of it, and I'm doing as well as I can and hoping the same for others

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(Anonymous) - 2025-12-24 19:14 (UTC) - Expand

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mishey22 - 2025-12-25 04:27 (UTC) - Expand

SA

(Anonymous) - 2025-12-24 19:18 (UTC) - Expand

Anon, it's just a reassuring comment. People who don't agree with the sentiment can just scroll past. What else are they supposed to do as an online stranger?

they rarely do it here. And then the mod deletes the comments that offended the people that refuse to scroll.

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(Anonymous) - 2025-12-25 00:00 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2025-12-25 01:47 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2025-12-25 03:11 (UTC) - Expand

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(Anonymous) - 2025-12-25 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

We are not a therapy group. Genuine human connection even online helps people through the day, and it matters

Fuck you.

I get what you're saying. I think some people fixate on venting the negative and never really get the point of venting, which is to express the negative and then figure out a next step and move on. People online especially seem really fixated on ruminating on negative emotions and victimhood.

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(Anonymous) - 2025-12-24 17:48 (UTC) - Expand

Mom, I don't know how you found this place, but no one needs to hear your better idea that you never take the initiative to do on your own to begin with anyway. You're just saying something to lecture other people so that you feel like a bigger or better person than them. Have we not talked about how this sort of behavior is not needed during the holidays and especially when it has nothing to do with you enough? Why don't you go see if dad needs help with calling Medicare about his prescription pills?

I don't think this actually helps people long term. In the moment it seems like a good idea, but all it really does is encourage rumination.

Better to help people get outside of themselves and stop fixating on what's wrong.

Gosh, how enlightening. Now set an example and make yourself useful elsewhere instead of bringing others down here.

People should go outside, full stop. Touch the nature.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2025-12-25 00:09 (UTC) - Expand

Thanks for this <3 It is a hard time for me, it sucks, reminds me of all the better times in the past and the people who are gone, and how I feel like I *should* be enjoying myself but instead I'm just stressed out and sad.

Thanks. I'm dealing with some family drama, and trying really hard not to be angry and bitter because I don't want to ruin everyone's holiday. At the same time, I wish people cared more about not ruining MY holiday.

Damn. This, so much. It's not even big things but everyone is just so fixated on themselves and their own enjoyment and I'm the one trying to accomodate everyone but nobody gives a fuck about me. I'm so tired of putting everyone's needs and wishes before my own when none of them returns the favour. I'm the one who's expected to just suck it up.

Thank you. Mostly trying to enjoy my holiday and not stress and worry too much about clients who have to be detained over the holiday.

Thanks, I hope you’re doing well, too! It’s my first Christmas since a devastating loss and it hasn’t been easy. Luckily I’m surrounded by good people who are giving me grace instead of judgement. I’ve done most of my gift exchanges already meeting up with friends for lunch and stuff like that. It’s been a nice way to get through the season with a lot more laughter than I thought I had in me.

I am so happy for you. The first big holiday or gathering after a big loss is always the hardest. I'm glad this one has had laughter and support.

Thank you, and same to you.
I have mainly small frustrations that add up into bigger ones. My dad's behaviour has been getting worse and worse over the last months. He's turning into this 50s asshole stereotype (just not as politically conservative) and now he's ruining everyone's mood all the time and acts the victim whenever you even mildly criticise him in any way. We hope there's nothing neurological going on but it's more likely it's a mix of senile stubborness and the fact that he's going increasingly deaf but won't admit it.

I think we have the same dad. He's allowed to say whatever mean thing he wants to people, but if you tell him to knock it off or identify his bullying behavior for what it is, all of a sudden he's "just asking questions" or "just trying to make conversation" and everyone is being awful to poor ol' dad. It's so frustrating, nonny... you have my sympathies.

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