[ SECRET POST #6935 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6935 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 23 secrets from Secret Submission Post #990.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Advice/questions thread

[philstar22]

For anyone who wants to ask anything or needs help.

Re: Advice/questions thread

[philstar22]

So, I've discovered one sticking point with my new office. It seems I and at least a couple of the admins have very different communication styles. One thing that was mentioned to me is that when I say okay or yes when people tell me things, it can sound like I'm actually not listening?

That seems opposite to me, I started doing it years ago since I'm bad with eye contact and want to make sure people know I'm listening. It is basically instinct now.

How does one go about changing that sort of instinctive thing? I certainly don't want people to think I'm not listening or to have issues at the office. But I honestly have no idea how to go about this.

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I think it would depend what people you mean, and in what context? e.g. Bosses/coworkers/clients, in meetings/in work conversations/something else?

Re: Advice/questions thread

[philstar22]

I was told it relation to a conversation I had with one of my bosses. She was telling me something, I responded, I guess she thought I wasn't actually listening?

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, then I'd agree with what the other anon said. If it's an in person thing, like "got it, I'll have X done by Y time."

If it's something long/complicated/formal you could always also send a followup email with a summary of what was said like "as per meeting this morning, I will... insert list of things to do. If anything additional comes up please lmk"

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly this. My company had an entire course effective communication, and the advice given on this situation was a summarization by you at the end of the conversation, e.g. “I heard that I am to follow up on Mr Garcia’s case and get you a summary of the case so far, I need to call Mr Lopez today or tomorrow and I need to gather all the documents for Ms Viapondo’s hearing by Friday. I’ll send you an email to document this conversation. Was there anything else?”
It assures them that you heard everything.

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

I'm also someone who tends to avoid eye contact and yes, it can come off as you're just nodding along and not really listening. I've found it useful to repeat a point or a word, like, "Okay, the report on Mr Smith," or "Yes, by Friday morning."

Re: Advice/questions thread

[philstar22]

Okay, thanks. I'd honestly never heard this before from anyone, so I was pretty shocked. I will try your suggestion.

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

The problem with not making eye contact and saying vague things like "okay" and "yes" is that this easily reads as someone who's just going "uh huh whatever" and not actually being engaged. People will assume that you're actually focusing on wherever your gaze is directed. The most straightforward fix is to look like you're paying attention by making regular eye contact, positioning your body so it's pointed in their direction, maybe leaning in slightly, nodding when inappropriate. Consider some light body language mirroring.

There should also be a verbal component that shows you're listening: affirm what's been said to you specifically, ask questions that show you're engaged with the topic at hand. You don't want to overdo it, but sometimes repeating a word or phrase that's been said to you shows that you heard it.

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

You should quit then.

Re: Advice/questions thread

[(Anonymous)]

You should quit.