fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6952 ]

[ SECRET POST #6952 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6952 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 39 secrets from Secret Submission Post #993.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Hi all! Back in October (probably) I posted a vent about how embarrassed/annoyed I felt that a friend I'd invited to a long running campaign acted foolishly. It was clear she hadn't touched base with the DM to ground her character in the homebrew fantasy world, she threw out all kinds of (kinda cheesy) ideas for weapons and items she could make for herself, and tried to set up that her character was from "our earth" seemingly to have access to modern tech ideas. I was frustrated and embarrassed.

Well I'm not annoyed with her any more! A mutual friend who is closer to her filled her in on the setting and helped focus her ideas on what her class specifically allows. Her ideas are balanced and on genre now. She's been great!

But.

Oh guys.

But!

I didn't mention it originally because it wasn't relevant but there are two parties with two DMs running in the same world reacting to the same events. (One reason why balancing was so important.) We finally met up with the other group and honestly? I'd give my friend's character a bazooka because <3 F U C K I T <3

The other group has a player with a custom class (combo paladin and bard and druid?) that allows him to be Ash Ketchum and throw pokeballs and turn into pokemon. Literally pokemon. Not a "small red kobold" not "a plant creature with whipping vines" not "a large yellow mouse with a lightning aura" but fucking charmander, bulbasaur, and pikachu. Y'all, I'm crying. I'm screaming. I'm rending my garments.

The DM of this group* vetoed my friend having gun powder because "It didn't fit the game world" (arguably fair) and now I'm competing in a foot race with fucking squirtle. (Give my girl a nuke!) [*The DMs had to agree on the stuff they gave their parties)

Other things that pissed me off from the other group:
- Guy who metagamed by Commanding (the spell) someone to undo every action our team did (gave a guy who loves rocks a rock, offered sandwiches from our food stall) and then didn't know how his own spell worked. (target rolls a wisdom save, caster rolls nothing) I wasn't mad about the metagaming because casting a spell to undo our silly bullshit is a bigger cost than our silly bullshit (the rock was bugged and the sandwich wrapper had a lightly addictive drug on it) but to then have to look up the spell (TWICE!!!!) got me. If it's your reflex to use a spell you should fucking know how it works.
- Guy who used Divine Sense wrong. (You can sense celestials, undead, and fiends NOT a general vibe of who's good/evil wrt your own morality. And it lasts 1 round, not 10 minutes. Detect Evil and Good lasts 10 minutes which is similar but can detect more kinds of creatures.) I was annoyed that they were *wrong* but whatever, we popped up as "good" according to the character's morality. Did that stop the metagaming? Nah.
- Guy who rolled a d12 for a save. My brother in friendship, you've been playing for at *least* three months, you are a fully grown human, you should know to roll a d20 for everything. I'd be mad even if you were fucking up a save *against* my spell.
- Guy who used "Turn Undead" as a "light show" for his talent show show presentation. 1) Turn Undead doesn't do that. There is no visual effect listed in the rules, even a cantrip could have been used for more effect. 2) Magic that affected the audience was an auto disqualify. The player seemed to be disqualifying himself on purpose. (Which is cool! His character's a dope!) But the other DM allowed it for not being a "charm" specifically. Rude. But he burned a channel divinity and he didn't win so whatever.
- (To be clear we cheated too, but we did it *honestly*! By bribing the judges beforehand! Like characters in the world!)
- The guy who metagamed (textbook example) RIGHT after the other DM said "My guys are really good about not metagaming."
- The DM who had a character take damage from nowhere to give him another role to save on the Enemies Abound our Warlock cast on him. Also didn't make him actually attack any of the people around him which is L I T E R A L L Y what it does! (quote the rules: On a failed save, the target loses the ability to distinguish friend from foe, regarding all creatures it can see as enemies until the spell ends. [...] Whenever the affected creature chooses another creature as a target, it must choose the target at random from among the creatures it can see within range of the attack, spell, or other ability it’s using. If an enemy provokes an opportunity attack from the affected creature, the creature must make that attack if it is able to.) But whatever, he turned into a (poke)monster and freaked out in public. I can work with that.

To be clear, I had a BLAST and I love my team and DM.

And I had it out with the other DM about how I felt stonewalled that all of our ideas* got "No's" and took 4 months for a compromise when the other team has fucking charmander and a custom deity. He gave our DM much more authority to OK our non-pvp bullshit. I don't think that DM realizes how much he is putting his thumb on the scales for his players so getting his thumb off *our* scale feels great.
(*and FuCkiNg *GUN POWDER*)

Also! Our teams are technically at odds. Previously our team was just annoyed that there were other adventurers stealing the potential limelight. But now? Oh kill those jerks. It's ON! One guy publicly "cheats" at the talent show and another uses magic to make his friend toss out a free (lightly drugged) sandwich we gave him? It's Fight On Sight. We're enemies now! Bring it on. Revenge for the sandwich! My out of game frustration feeds my character so it's fine!

(And I know I'm high maintenance. I know I'm picky. I know not everyone gets bugged by the things that bug me. All of these people are cool and nice and good and I love the ones that are my friends even when they annoy me. But please! Hold space in your prayers for the girl who gets antsy when people don't have their dice ready to go for their turn in combat (get yer d20 and d8 ready you've had 25 minutes to prepare why are you digging through your bag now???) having to tell a grown adult what his proficiency bonus is. I should stick to DMing.)

"Charmander says it's fine." is now a meme in our group. If we ever go full pvp we are going to WIPE the FLOOR with them. It'll be SWAT team vs. coughing babies. With good roles I could probably solo their party. (If only because I remember to add my prof bonus to my attacks...)

Next month's game is going to rule <3

I understood only half of this because I don't play tabletop games, but it is still hilarious and I wish your group the best of luck and an awesome game!

Thank you! I realize 2/3 of this is d&d 5e mechanics and jargon and I appreciate your efforts in reading it. I <3 you.

Ha! What an update! I remember your post and am glad your girl came to a compromise. But then the utter betrayal of the other team and DM! Pokemon! I am dying of laughter and aghast at their audacity.

When he first threw a rock claiming it was a poke ball i was like "what the fuck????" but whatever

When he popped out of that pokeball and turned into a charmander I was like "WHAT THE FUXK????" And resolved to ruin that man's whole career <3

Our talk with the other DM felt productive. Im salty not bitter.

But i vomited blood this morning. Im on the way to an urgent care now <3

Oh nooo! Was it random? Like had you been feeling sick or in pain?

Update when you can! I hope you are okay!

I haven't been injured in the stomach, I had dinner from a restaurant I've been to dozens of times, I haven't been around anyone I know to be ill.

I have anxiety and some (self diagnosed FWIW) autistic tendencies so I feel like I often feel my emotions in my body. I was lying in bed like "ow. I wonder if I should take tums or do a breathing exercise and remember my friends would tell me if they were mad." So I did both and it kept hurting. Twice I had to get up as my mouth simply *flooded* with saliva. (Common before vomiting)

The third time my body wanted to puke I allowed/encouraged it and had an obvious clump of blood.

If I have an ulcer it was fucking charmander what did it to me. (/jk work has been stressful)

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[ SECRET POST #6952 ]

D&D Vent Update (long)

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