case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2026-02-15 03:13 pm

[ SECRET POST #6981 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6981 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #997.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2026-02-15 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Oof... going to be super honest here, I know what it's like to be on both sides of such a situation.

I'm sorry you had friends like that Secret OP. I hope you have friends who you can be comfortable with now who you don't feel a need to be performative with, and you don't owe your old friends pleasantries if you don't want to associate with them.

I recognize that in my teens and a good amount of my 20s feeling like my opinions were the right opinion. I'd argue my point to people, determined to prove my point. I felt like I was correct because my intentions were altruistic.
However, the older I got and being exposed to more of the world, I began to understand that the world is complex and good intentions may feel altruistic, but that alone is not enough to do good in the world. Nor does it mean good intentions equate to a better world. Atrocities have occurred as a result of good intentions. And having an "I"m the smartest person in the room" energy is off-putting. It made me feel terrible and embarrassed for having been such an unaware ass.

I try my best to listen to people speak their mind and try not to judge. Instead try to understand.
But I know that the ways I behave now don't excuse the defensive and judgmental ways I treated friends and fellow fandom members in the past.
I also recognize it's not my job to try to educate people of their ignorance (though if they ask I might be inclined to help where I can).

Like, to anyone who needs to hear it, don't be too hard on yourself. You deserve to feel like you are safe enough to express your opinions. And please be mindful of performative political action, especially in fandom.

(Anonymous) 2026-02-16 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
That is such a good way to put it, good job nonny...and sorry if you had to struggle with some feelings along the way, but that's how we grow as people.

A lot of us did dumb things when we were young and dumb, it's the 40+ year olds still doing dumb teenager things with no self-awareness that are truly a problem. But the anonymity of the internet is still enough to obfuscate who's a dumb teenager and who should really know better by now.