fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6984 ]

[ SECRET POST #6984 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6984 ⌋

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Because I need one

When I say "anger issues", I don't mean that I get physically violent or hurt people or even scream and yell. But when someone disappoints me by being an asshole, I just think that's it, I'm done. I don't want to see this person again, or speak to them, it makes me mad if I have to be nice to them and I don't want to do them any favors ever again. Maybe that's not healthy but goddamn, if I could put a whole lot of space between me and all the people on my extremely long shit list, I feel like my life would be a lot more peaceful.

I feel the older I get, the less tolerance I have for stupid bullshit. I used to give second, third, fourth, fiftieth chances and now I honestly just get done sooner with people these days. I'm trying to make a three strikes rule or at least talk to a person once about something offensive they're doing (I mean objectively, not something I personally find tasteless), but I find more and more that I tend to disengage sooner than I did when I was younger.

For the record, you don't have to engage with anyone as an adult, for any reason (obviously I'm not speaking of obligations you may have signed up for and can't quit). Granted, if it's a place of work, you might have no choice, but at least there you could do minimal interaction and be on your way.

Yes, this is exactly it. I used to give people lots of second chances, try to give them the benefit of the doubt even for long term patterns of negative behavior, or try to reason with them. I just don't have the energy for any of that any more. Giving people too many chances usually ends in them taking advantage of your tolerance and leniency. Trying to reason with people who are irrational just doesn't work out, because they didn't arrive at their irrational beliefs via reason in the first place. I feel like sometimes I ought to be nicer and more patient but good god I'm tired.

For friends and acquaintances that I have no professional ties to, fuck 'em, they're getting dropped. For family, this is harder but I've been distancing myself from aggravating family members who never seem to change and aren't interested in treating people well. My time and energy is better spent on the people who actually bring something to my life. I got in touch with an old friend last month and we had a great catch-up and now we talk almost every day.

Yeah, it's great, honestly. I can see a second chance for an honest mistake, but no more, none.

I hold myself in too high esteem to put up with assholery if I don't have to. The peace is priceless.

Meaning I also have anger issues without being physically violent as well. I will yell though, more as an overwhelmed type of feeling rather than from the anger itself. My anger is more deepseeded at this point.
It, of course, makes my furious that when I look for help when it comes to my anger that all the quizzes and help groups decide I don't actually have anger issues based on the fact I don't act on the all encompassing fury I feel. Like fuck you that I don't have road rage, fuck you that I don't have an SO, fuck you that I feel this heat seep inside me like a volcano, burning at me from the inside out like an acid, so ready to erupt that I need to isolate myself and barricade my door so that I don't fucking snap at something. Fuck you you stupid piece of shit. You're wrong.

fyi, I'm doing much better! I have a new doctor, I just seriously need some worksheets, like, please. Why is this so hard??

I have an absolutely unhinged colleague. At this point we are hoping that she'll resign on her own. She's managed to get on the nerves of basically everyone in the office. Also she is crying all the time because "we are being rude to her". (My boss IS a bit short with her, but she started the rumour of him being ex-convict for the record)
The thing is, she is of perimenopause age and I just can't help thinking that a lot of her behaviour is affected by it. And I have a mix of "maybe we are hard on her" and "oh god, I am going to be LIKE THIS in a few years) feelings. Argh

I'm pretty sure I'm of perimenopause-to-menopause age and, um, I think she needs to get a grip or consider therapy. I have mood swings and I'm not proud of how massively bitchy I get at times, but I don't make excuses for shitty behavior or play the victim just because I'm in a mood.

I am so scared of mood swings 😭 I already occasionally have PMS ones. Mind you, I try and keep professional face, but I slide into urban taking to themselves weirdo.

Yeah, I am genuinely thinking of sliding her therapist's number. Also I am absolutely impressed by her nerve. For example we had to move all our office furniture to accommodate her because she was booted from another yet department. And we have the most space, so management stuck her with us.
And she was being all "oh, new things are so good! Look how wonderfully office looks" while we were actively doing this instead of actual work. Like. READ THE ROOM GIRL

I mean yeah, it's very possible. I've read other peoples' accounts of perimenopause and the hormones and emotions can get wildly out of whack. Unfortunately, it's hard to suggest that someone talk to their doctor about this because it's such a delicate subject if you don't know them very well. But if you read r/perimenopause you'll see quite a few women talk about 1) how hard it is for them to manage at their jobs now between physical symptoms and crashing executive function, brain fog and fatigue and 2) how few other women of perimenopausal age they see in the workplace and now they know why!

Tbf we have I worked a lot with peri and menopause aged women, because I work in woman dominated fields. But probably it affects everyone differently.

SA
Oops, weird wording. I wanted to say that not only I worked with middle aged woman, we have enough of them at current job too. Including our director.
Weirdest ones are younger or older most of the time for some reason

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[ SECRET POST #6984 ]

Vent thread

I have anger issues and find it hard to forgive.

Re: I have anger issues and find it hard to forgive.

Re: I have anger issues and find it hard to forgive.

Re: I have anger issues and find it hard to forgive.

Re: I have anger issues

Also talking about perimenopause

Re: Also talking about perimenopause

Re: Also talking about perimenopause

Re: Also talking about perimenopause

Re: Also talking about perimenopause

Re: Also talking about perimenopause