[ SECRET POST #7016 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7016 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1001.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Have you ever felt like you developed a parasocial relationship with someone online?

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my goodness, it's like this post descended from the heavens at the exact right time. Yes, I have developed a parasocial relationship with someone online, and an extremely unhealthy one at that.

I am a fan of a hated ship in my fandom. In desperately searching for material of the ship, I looked on Tumblr, and there was one fan in particular who was one of the few who regularly posted about it. They posted art, fic, meta...and comebacks against hate for the ship. It practically became a ritual for me, every morning I would check their blog. I became very grateful for their posts, and emotionally attached to them, especially when I would see the toxicity they faced, whether from the ship itself, or from (respectfully) critiquing aspects of a popular series in the franchise.

They started to vent more about fandom toxicity, and how fans of this ship often weren't as vocal as fans of other ships. I felt bad for them. And I wanted the reputation to improve. I would go out and actively seek out spaces where the ship was likely to be criticized (most spaces where it's brought up, lol), and burnt myself out trying to defend it.

I stopped, and felt better, but I felt like I was letting them down. Though I have barely interacted with them. Though my interest in the ship is still there, it feels less all-encompassing than it did before. But recently I started to sympathize with some of their mutuals who critiques the same popular series in the larger franchise, and get a lot of flak for it. This is a series I like, but still find flawed. The fandom is resistant to critique of this series; it's basically a sacred cow, if you're familiar with the TVtropes term.

I worry about being accused of being toxic or wanting the writers to starve (yes, fans of the media can be very parasocially attached to the official writers, who were former BNFs, and will accuse people baselessly of this) if I critique it, or at least don't critique it in a balanced enough way. I feel like I need to set a good example as a non-toxic fan, because critical analysis and meta mean a lot to me, but my reputation also means a lot too.

I don't want to be cowed into silence though. I want to be the change I want to see instead of orbiting others and doomscrolling.

I tend to overanalyze and ruminate on things. I try to stop fandom doomscrolling , manage to replace it with some other bad habit for a while, then go back to it, because it feels like I am protecting myself from bad arguments and toxicity that may come my way. I wish I could stop, and yet I think it's become addictive in a way.

I've never told anyone this before, not in full. It feels good to get off my chest, but I also don't know what to do sometimes. Though some of this has given me more appreciation for meta analysis, I miss when I didn't care so much about other fans' opinions on things, and the way others viewed me and the things I care about.