[ SECRET POST #7022 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7022 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1003.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Pet peeves!

[(Anonymous)]

This was one of the reasons as to why I stopped interacting with a friend. I could barely get a sentence out before she began spitting out "advice" to fix my problems. She'd ignore me when I'd try to say that I'm not looking for solutions, I just want to vent.("I'm just saying")

I'm a problem solver myself, but I understand that some things in life just can't be solved. And that sometimes someone just wants to vent about their problems, they aren't looking for solutions AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. And the problem solver needs to recognize that and respect the other party's wants and needs. We don't always want or need solutions to a problem. And I hate getting shitty advice that wouldn't work out, especially if the advice giver would keep insisting upon their advice after I try to explain that their advice wouldn't work.

There are plenty of people in my life who throw out advice when I'm not asking, but they don't insist upon offering a solution to every gripe I have. They will move on when I respond with a polite "that's an idea." Or they stop offering advice when I say something like "thanks for the advice but I just want to vent" and understand it's not a personal attack on their character when I'm not in the mood to take their advice.
So I learned that some people are really stubborn with giving others advice. IMO (drawing from my own past when I used to offer unaskedfor advice) the advice giver feels a need to be useful so offering solutions in a conversation is a "useful" act. Even though the more useful thing is to let the other person speak their mind, but these types are likely too caught up in themselves to know how to show up for others if it calls for them to not make it about themselves.