[ SECRET POST #7023 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7023 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1003.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

Learned helplessness. So many people are bizarrely happy to 1. not know how to do something, but also 2. not even try to learn. It's just weird as shit to me man.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't wanna do it, I'm lazy, and if someone else can be suckered into doing it for me then I am both winning at capitalism (having got more money for less labour) and also have more time free for the stuff I do like doing.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

For some, it's socialization to defer tasks to someone else because possibly "gendered roles" and they don't want to break out of that, even if it's toxic bullshit.

For others, they may have attempted to do certain tasks in the past, and were shamed/bullied/mocked mercilessly for failing at them (regardless of skill level) that they just don't want to repeat that experience in any way.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

For others, they may have attempted to do certain tasks in the past, and were shamed/bullied/mocked mercilessly for failing at them (regardless of skill level) that they just don't want to repeat that experience in any way.


Yes. A lot of the time, "laziness" is actually anxiety, for that reason.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. I'm constantly having to rein in the urge to yell at my colleagues in the chat because they've suddenly forgotten routines that they've worked with for years.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

Sometimes it's a vicious cycle. People are enabled by loved ones, so they're allowed to be helpless, but because they're enabled, they don't know how to do things.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

The explanation is in the name. It's not called complacent helplessness, it's called learned helplessness, because the person's passivity is a learned response, usually as a result of that person having been repeatedly subjected to distressing situations they had no control over and no power to change. Very often this occured for an extended period during the person's formative years, and so the person developes a deep-seated belief in the futility of their own actions. Eventually they stop trying to change or escape the distressing situation, having learned that all of their efforts are either useless or make their situation worse. At which point their coping mechnisms typically turn inward and become about enduring distress and protecting the inner self - because that's the only thing they can do.

Eventually the person may be released from the circumstances under which their learned helplessness was formed, but by then being proactive in the face of challenges has become extremely difficult, because on an instictive emtional and psychological level they believe their efforts are futile, and in fact, expending effort often feels actively threatening and awful to the person because it triggers their trauma response, and feels like spending their meager personal resources on a doomed course of action when what they should be doing is hunkering down, bracing for impact, and figuring out how to live with whatever bad thing is happening.

Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything. -_-

As for people remaining ignorant rather than learning how to do a relatively simple thing — I would be more inclined to attribute that to somewhat broader forms of psychological malaise like information overload, burnout, and executive dysfunction. You don't practice your butterfly stroke when you're caught in a riptide, and a whole lot of people feel like they're caught in a riptide right now.

Re: Common things you don't understand thread.

[(Anonymous)]

I was thinking along those lines, but couldn't think of a way to articulate it. Nicely done. I can relate as well, possibly for different reasons.